How would you know that the person you are having dinner with, in a nice restaurant, is a good or bad person? Or how would you know for sure that the colleague who gets along with everyone at work is actually not a nice person at all? For the most part, it’s easy to tell a good person from a dangerous one, but in certain cases, identifying a dangerous person is not really that simple.
Not every dangerous person shows their evil side openly, and those are the kind of people who end up hurting others the most. They portray themselves as straight arrows who only want what’s best for you, but behind that facade, is a lot of negativity and poison. So, how would you really know that you’re dealing with a dangerous person? The answer is simple: you need to look out for a few signs that will give away their true colors, and help you understand who you are really dealing with.
Look out for these subtle signs, so you can protect yourself from their poisonous machinations and toxic games.
7 Subtle Signs You Are Talking To A Dangerous Person
1. Drama Follows Them Wherever They Go.
It’s like drama was made for them. No matter where they are, what they do, or who they meet, in someway or the other, drama seeps in. Either they start drama, instigate drama, or find themselves in the middle of the drama, but no matter what the situation is, they are somehow involved in it. They are experts at stirring the pot, be it causing problems in your social circle, or the fact that their close ones have alienated them – they are always up to something dubious.
Peace is never an option for them, and the moment they will see everything is in a good place, they will itch to disrupt it all. Creating problems between people is their favorite pastime, and thriving in drama is what they do best.
2. Deception Is Their Favorite Game.
Dangerous people are experts at deceiving others, and they know exactly how to conduct themselves in front of others, so as to not give away their real self. They will trick you and deceive you to get their own needs met, and if you call them out on this, they will come up with a million justifications.
Did they meet with their ex and didn’t tell you about it? Well, they didn’t want to upset you. Did they gossip about you behind your back? Well, they were just being honest and they did not have any bad intentions.
They will have a repertoire of excuses and justifications for their deceptive actions, and will never admit their faults, and they will be so good at it, that you won’t realize the truth until it’s too late. And if they do admit to their games, they will show no remorse about it; they will be cold, defensive, unyielding, and will behave as if they did nothing wrong.
3. They Have Quite A Few Unresolved Issues.
When you have unresolved issues festering inside you, you wouldn’t want to experience it alone; you would lash out at people, just so you can feel better for a few minutes. When there’s a lot of pain within you, you feel angry at the whole world, and this is exactly how a dangerous person feels. They have so much pain, anger, and bitterness inside, that they cannot bear to see anybody else happy; if they are suffering, so should everybody else around them.
Instead of dealing with their feelings or trying to heal them, they choose to focus on hurting people. Everything will seem okay until you do or say something that hits a nerve AKA, their unresolved issue. When this happens, you will find out just how negative, resentful and insensitive they really are. Their unhealed wounds keep on tormenting them on the inside, and this leads to them tormenting others on the outside.
4. Taking Accountability Is An Alien Concept For Them.
Taking responsibility and being accountable for their actions? Pfft. Never. One of the biggest hints that you’re dealing with a dangerous person is the fact that they never take responsibility for their actions, no matter how despicable they might be, and even when it has impacted you badly. If you confront them and try to hold them accountable, they will simply deny everything and may even gaslight you.
Even if you hold evidence of their wrongdoing in front of their face, they will come up with some sort of justification to contest you. And if you push too much, they will instantly pull the rug from under you and turn on the spotlight on you. No matter what they do, it’s always somebody else’s fault. Anybody but theirs.
5. They Like To Air Their Dirty Linen In Public.
A dangerous person is so insecure on the inside, public confrontation makes them feel powerful. Handling things with dignity and resolving personal issues in private is not something they believe in. They love to air their dirty linen in public and they don’t care about the repercussions at all. If they have a problem with somebody, instead of talking to them privately, they will confront them in a public setting and create a toxic situation.
They do this because they are incapable of having a healthy discussion with someone, and they are deathly scared of being vulnerable. The only way you can resolve your issues with someone is by opening up and talking to them about your feelings and thoughts, but dangerous people hate doing this. Their ego is so massive that they would rather create a scene and make the situation worse than open up and talk about what is bothering them.
Healthy conversations, open dialogue, being vulnerable, and considering other people’s opinions are the parameters to resolving problems. But alas, they refuse to do things this way and keep on complicating their problems more.
6. Gaslighting Others Is Their Favorite Defense Mechanism.
Gaslighting you is their favorite game of all time, and they start playing this game whenever they will feel that their mask is falling off. They will make you believe that you’re crazy and imagining things, and what you are saying never happened (it did happen!). At this point, they won’t just come up with appalling justifications, they will go to the extent of making you doubt your own sanity.
They are petrified of people seeing their real face, and that’s why they don’t hesitate to stoop this low; anything to protect themselves and their selfish interests. No matter how vehemently you might try to call them out on their toxicity, they will simply say things like ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about.’, ‘that’s not what happened.’, ‘you’re making things up!’, and the worst of all, ‘you are remembering it all wrong!’.
It is only by gaslighting you, will they be able to protect themselves and keep you under their thumb at the same time. Diabolical is an understatement, isn’t it?
7. They Care A Lot About How Others Perceive Them.
If you see someone who is overly concerned and conscious about their physical appearance, and how other people perceive them, then chances are they are a dangerous person. People who care too much about what other people think of them, almost always have something to hide and feel insecure about. A dangerous person works really, really hard to make sure that they come across as perfect.
They put a lot of effort into their physical appearances, and make sure that everything looks perfect from the outside because they want to appear smart, intelligent, and nice (even though they’re not!). Such people are so obsessed with how others perceive them that even harmless jokes and leg-pulling make them go off the rails. They feel that someone is out to get them, and is trying to show them in a bad light.
They hate it when they are made fun of (even if it’s all in good humor) because it brings all of their insecurities to the surface which they are then forced to confront and deal with. Outside appearances are everything to them, and they can go to any lengths to ensure their image is spick and span.
Even though it’s not always possible to know who is a dangerous person and who is not, these subtle hints can help you out. Dealing with a dangerous person is a very mentally and emotionally exhausting thing to go through, but once you understand what’s going on, cut all your ties with them and go your separate ways. You will be happier in the long run.