When you need to handle toxic people, an approach where you control what you can and eliminate the rest, is essential. It is also important to realize that you are actually in control of much more than you think you are. Emotionally intelligent people are aware of this and hence, they are able to better handle toxic people.
Living or interacting with toxic people can take a toll on your emotional and psychological health. But there are ways to tackle such people and prevent them from messing with your peace of mind.
Here you can learn the 13 ways emotionally intelligent people handle toxic people:
1. They Set Limits with Complainers
Complainers are unhealthy for you because they are negative people wallowing in self-pity and focusing on their problems instead of looking for solutions. What’s more annoying is that they try to include other people in their pity parties and transfer the negativity, so that they feel less shitty about themselves. Most of us feel a moral obligation to hear out their problems. Lend a sympathetic ear if you have to, but make sure you don’t get sucked into their pessimistic loop.
The best way to avoid getting sucked into their negativity is to set limits and distance yourself when they cross those boundaries. For example, if you’re a person who avoids smoking, will you sit with a person who smokes all day listening to their troubles and passive smoking? You would stay away from the smoke right? When you have to deal with complainers, you must adopt a similar approach. One effective way to limit their negative talks is to directly ask them how they plan to fix their problems. They will either stop complaining or at least change the course of the conversation to a more positive and productive direction.
2. They Don’t Perish in the Fight
People who have fought hard to be successful understand the importance of staying alive to fight another day, especially when your opponent is a toxic person. When you’re in a conflict, uncontrolled emotions can drag you deeper into the fight and leave you badly damaged. It’s important to understand and respond to your emotions first. Then you can pick the right kind of battles and hold your ground when the time is right.
3. They Rise Above
The way toxic people behave is irrational, which is why it feels crazy when you have to handle them. Yes, their behavior defies reason. But if you know how unreasonable they can be, then why do you give an emotional response to their arguments and get sucked into their stories?
The moment you see that someone is being hopelessly irrational, remove yourself before you fall further into the trap. No point trying to defeat such a person. It’s best to emotionally distance yourself from such a person. Henceforth, handle your interactions with the person like you would handle a science project– just respond to the facts, the emotional chaos doesn’t need your energy.
4. They Are Aware of Their Emotions
Emotionally distancing yourself from toxic people requires awareness on your part. It’s not possible to stop someone from triggering you if you don’t even understand when it’s happening. In certain situations, you need to regroup yourself and choose a way forward that suits you best. This is encouraged and you shouldn’t feel scared that you’re needing some time to adjust.
Think of a situation where you are approached by a mentally unstable person who wants you to believe that he’s John F. Kennedy. You won’t try to set his thoughts straight, will you? When you are interacting with a coworker with a twisted way of thinking, it’s best to smile and nod. And if you want to straighten out their thinking, then it’s best to give yourself some time and chalk out a plan on how to go about it.