Being with, or even engaging with psychologically violent people is one of the most traumatizing things you can ever go through in your life. They have this way of making you feel small, irrelevant, and useless, without any fault of yours. By exploiting you and manipulating you, they keep you within their control and never hesitate to stoop down to a really low level, just to get their selfish needs met.
Emotionally and psychologically violent people are toxic and horrible individuals who only care about themselves, and their own needs want, and desires; they stop at nothing to get what they want. They don’t think twice before using someone for their gains and then dropping them like garbage, the moment they have got what they wanted. Mingling with such people will never yield any good results.
In order to stay away from such lowlifes, you need to have a good idea about how they behave and what red flags you should look out for. You will be surprised to know that there are different types of psychologically violent people, and the more you know about them, the better you will be able to protect yourself.
8 Kinds Of Psychologically Violent People
Here are different types of psychologically violent individuals that you need to watch out for and stay away from in your life –
1. Someone who makes you go crazy.
People like this know exactly which buttons to push to make you lose your temper and snap, and the worst part is, they don’t even have to raise their voice to do this. They know all your weak points, and they know what to say and when to say it, for you to feel the full brunt of their words. As they are normally very charismatic, they will smoothly pass insulting comments about you, with a smirk on their face.
The moment you try to confront them about their behavior and hold them accountable for it, they will swiftly pass the blame onto you and make you out to be the culprit. They might say something like, “Why are you yelling? I never yelled even once, and it was just a harmless joke. You are being crazy!” Their way of manipulating and insulting you is so subtle, that other people don’t even realize it, leading you to question yourself and your sanity.
They are calm, calculated, and extremely twisted people, and you never know when they will toy with you on the tips of their fingers.
2. Someone who only takes, but never gives.
When you are in an emotionally abusive relationship with a psychologically violent person, the last thing you should expect is that they will put in equal efforts as you do to make the relationship work. People like them get into relationships just to fulfill their own personal needs, and they don’t give two hoots about what their partner might expect from them. The relationship is always about THEIR needs and expectations, and how you are obligated to fulfill all of them because you love them.
They will take, take, and take, but they will never give back anything. You will be the one making all the compromises, sacrifices, and adjustments, while they just enjoy themselves. You cannot demand anything from them, and if you do, then you are ‘selfish’ and ‘controlling’. Takers will never show any respect towards you, but will always expect you to respect them, and no matter how badly they may treat you, you are supposed to be understanding about it.
Being in a relationship like this can emotionally drain you, and also affect your sense of self-worth and confidence.
3. Someone who is disturbingly sensitive.
Having a sensitive person as your partner can be a blessing, and can help both of you build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship. But too much of anything is a bad thing, isn’t it? There’s a difference between being sensitive and disturbingly sensitive, and the latter is never a good thing. They are so sensitive that the tiniest of things can spark them off, and before you know it, hell has broken loose. Screaming, shouting, crying – everything is happening all at once, with you right in the middle of it all.
Because of their sensitive and emotional nature, they would want to know everything about you and your life. But whenever you have an argument, they won’t hesitate to use all that sensitive information against you like piercing bullets. It’s like they try to know you on a deeper level just so they can stock up on more and more ammunition for when things get rough.
They always prioritize their emotions, and if you don’t understand that (even when they are being toxic), then either you’re not a good person or you don’t love them enough. This is what makes them psychologically violent towards their partners.
4. Someone who is an addict and isn’t mentally sane.
Being in a relationship with an addict is probably one of the worst experiences one can go through. Most of the time, addicts are so far gone and their mental state remains in such a bad place, that there’s nothing you can really do to save them, or help them be better. If you try to give them some tough love in order to help them break their addiction, they will term you as an insensitive and thoughtless person who doesn’t understand their struggles.
If you try to convince them to go to rehab, they will dismiss it off by saying they are scared and not ready. If you tell them that unless they get their act straight, the relationship won’t work, they will accuse you of being selfish for leaving them in their time of need. They will have a million expectations from you and will always expect you to be there for them through thick and thin, but they will never lift a finger to change themselves.
Their addiction and fragile mental health make it impossible for you to keep on loving them, but somehow you can never bring yourself to leave them. Psychologically violent in a nutshell, folks.
5. Someone who always plays the victim.
This is someone who always has something to complain about how life has been unfair and brutal to them; it’s as if life has put a target on their back and all of life’s misfortunes are targeting them. They play the victim in every little thing, just so they can keep you in their control. Did you make plans for an all-girls night? He will tell you that you’re abandoning and isolating him just like everybody did in the past. Did you call them out on their toxic behavior? She will break down, create a scene and constantly tell you that you’re questioning her love for you, and how you could break her heart like this.
This goes on and on and on, before you feel exhausted and defeated and end up agreeing with whatever they want to do. According to them, they are the best people walking on this earth, and everybody is else is just not as empathetic as them and are only concerned with hurting them.
They are considered to be psychologically violent, because they have an emotional excuse for every bad thing they do, and they will always play the victim by opening their bag of justifications whenever they are called out on their toxicity.
6. Someone who wants to control everything.
This kind of person wants to have full control over their partner and wants to dictate every little thing they should or shouldn’t do. These toxic individuals are probably some of the most psychologically violent people to ever exist. Such people will expect their partners to only spend time with them, and nobody else, including close friends and family. They believe that when their partner has them in their life, why would they need other people to make them happy?
Controlling people will check your phone and go through all your texts, photos, and call list, will not let you meet your close ones, will insist on going everywhere with you, and will force you to keep on a happy face in front of the world and pretend as if you’ve got the best partner out of everyone. You will have almost no freedom whatsoever, and the scary thing is that there is always a chance of them being physically abusive with you.
Such people are not just toxic, they are also incredibly dangerous and can badly harm you, mentally and physically, for the sake of getting their needs met.
7. Someone who believes they are absolutely perfect.
People who believe that they are perfect and can do absolutely no wrong are not just annoying but are psychologically violent too, even though it might not seem like that all the time. They have this notion that nobody is as good as them, and whatever they do is nothing short of admirable and awesome, and most importantly, they can never be proved wrong. If you disagree with them on something, it will anger them and they will push you to accept their point of view because obviously, they can never be wrong.
They will make you feel that if you don’t do things their way, you’re bound to fail. If something goes wrong in the relationship, you’ll be the one responsible for it, not them (even if they actually are the real culprit). They will mistreat you and emotionally torment you by constantly making you feel as if you’re good enough, and they’re doing you a favor by being with you.
In their eyes, everything about them is perfect, and if you cannot appreciate and acknowledge this ‘perfection’, it’s your loss. You are the loser in the relationship with a million flaws in you, and they are the epitome of everything good and flawless.
8. Someone who torments you every moment of the day.
This is probably the most dangerously and psychologically violent type on this list. People like this love to torment and terrorize their partners to keep them in their control. They will go to any length to scare you, even threatening to hurt you if you don’t do as they say. They believe that in order for you to ‘behave’ the way they want you to, the best way is to terrorize you and scare the living daylights of you.
They are nothing short of sadistic, and get a sick pleasure out of hurting people, be it physically or emotionally. If you are with someone like this, you will notice that healthy conversations and doing what you want to do or what makes you happy, don’t exist in your relationship. Your happiness doesn’t matter, and you are always terrified of them and what they might do next.
Such people end up being domestic abusers and even go on to sexually assault their partners just to keep them in their control, and make sure that they are always too scared to go against them.
These are the different kinds of psychologically violent people that you might find around you. If you are in a relationship with any of them, then make a proper plan to leave them for good, so that they can’t come after you in any way. It might seem scary in the beginning, but leaving a psychologically violent relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity. You deserve so much happiness and peace in life, and leaving an abusive relationship is the very first step to doing that.