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Why You Should Stop Looking For Love And Find Yourself Instead

Why stop looking for love let it find you

Love. The one thing everyone wants. The one thing everyone seeks. Love is the closest thing to magic in our dull, dreary, gray hued lives. Love lights up the darkness in our hearts and makes us feel warm in the chilly weather of loneliness. No wonder most of us are so desperate to love and be loved. We frantically run around looking for the one, but we need to stop looking for love and let it find us. 

Will Love Come To You If You Stop Looking For It?

We need to stop being so afraid of being left alone. We need to stop being afraid of being strong. We need to stop being driven by fear and pain. You need to stop looking for love and let it find you. I know the lump in the throat and the heaviness in the heart is becoming unbearable. I know how badly you want to be loved. I know how much you deserve to be loved…unconditionally. And that is exactly why I am telling you, you need to stop looking for that person all the time and just let it happen at its own pace. Let love find you.

Related: Do You Crave Love? 7 Signs Of Emotional Hunger

To be loved: That is the greatest desire

You reach home at the end of a long day and sit heavily on your bed. You exhale deeply as if trying hard to let go of all your worries, frustrations and exhaustion. You look around in your room and you feel the emptiness in your bones. You wish there was someone right here, right now to hold you. To tell you that it was okay. That you did good today. That you were strong and brave. That the world can never steal away your inner beauty. Someone to tell you that you are safe now. That they have got you. That they love you.

Stop looking for love
Why You Should Stop Looking For Love And Find Yourself Instead

Someone to tell you that you can rest now. Someone to hold you as you fall asleep… a deep, rejuvenating sleep that you have been wanting for a long time. And when you wake up, you see them sleeping beside you. Happy and calm. You think to yourself that you must have done something really good to have someone so amazing to love you. You feel the love in your heart and you put your arm around them and go back to sleep.

Paints a pretty picture, doesn’t it? Then why should you stop looking for love? Why should you give up on something so beautiful? Cause love is never begged. Always attracted. Always gifted.

Related: How Looking For Love In The Wrong Places Leads To Heartache

What is love if not knowing that you are cared for?

What is love if not having someone to share the silences with? What is love if not having someone to rely on? Knowing that no matter how terrible your day was, they will still be there to make it all better for you. And that is what all of us want. Love. Not fancy dates. Not passionate sex. But someone we can call home. And it is the inherent need for this feeling that makes us impatient and desperate to find the one.  

This whole concept of ‘the one’ or soulmate or whatever you call it, it’s not about sharing a cosmic connection or having a divinely romantic relationship. The one is that person you can share the simplest moments with and still feel like it was the greatest moment of your life.  And when you don’t have that person, you feel there is something lacking in life. Not that you feel incomplete or anything. No. You are fully capable of taking care of yourself and being alone. But there is this nagging pain in your heart – as if your heart is seeking something. 

And this psychological, emotional and spiritual need for love is what makes us needy, vulnerable and desperate. And so we embark on the journey of finding love. No, you don’t want to stop looking for love. You want to find that treasure trove that can bring new meaning to your life and fill your heart.

Related: Our Generation Has Ruined Love With These 4 Excuses

But love can’t be ‘added to cart’

You start looking around. That hot guy who walks past you everyday when you leave for work. That cute girl who works at the coffee shop and smiles at you for no reason. We start swiping right more on those hopeless dating apps that we know deep down are useless. We go on dates more often hoping to meet ‘the one’ really soon. But no. We don’t meet them. It breaks our heart as hopelessness creeps on us slowly. 

Why You Should Stop Looking For Love And Find Yourself Instead
Why You Should Stop Looking For Love And Find Yourself Instead

But we don’t stop looking for love. We don’t want to let go of that feeling – the feeling we know deep down in our hearts that one day we will be with them. So we try harder, become even more desperate, lower our standards and eventually screw up everything. We rush the process, believe liars, fall in love with narcissists, stay with abusers longer than we should, and break our hearts over and over and over again. In the end, we are left broken and bitter. We console ourselves by saying that there is no such thing as ‘love’. It ‘s all a ruse, a scam. Deeply regretting our dream of being with someone we could call ‘home’. 

And that is why we need to stop looking for love. Our desperation pollutes our mind and heart. It corrupts our views, beliefs and perspectives. It contaminates our intuition and our ability to feel real authentic love in our heart.

Related: What Is Love Addiction: 5 Symptoms Of Love Addiction And How To Stop It

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Theo Harrison

Hey there! I am just someone trying to find my way through life. I am a reader, writer, traveler, fighter, philosopher, artist and all around nice guy. I am outdoor person but heavily into technology, science, psychology, spiritualism, Buddhism, martial arts and horror films. I believe in positive action more than positive thinking.View Author posts

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