#3 Using sex or seduction to keep someone.
This can come from maladaptive behaviors and growing up in a dysfunctional childhood home. Some people might not have been taught how to cope with emotions or might have been taught early on that they are not good enough and only good enough for sex, so they use this as a tool to keep someone. Sex will also be used as a way to escape or to seek validation from their partner.
If their partner can show that they are still attracted to them sexually and they can get them to have sex, then the love addict can feel a sense of relief. However this is typically followed by a sense of shame and guilt because the real emotions have not been dealt with, only pushed down, and it will cause the addict to continue the spiral.
#4 Feeling desperate and alone and unable to stay single for large periods of time.
Constantly being in a relationship or jumping from one person to the next without periods of time of being alone is a big sign of love addiction. This is mainly because being alone is a time of reflection and hopefully healing, dealing with emotions, and this can be too painful and overwhelming for a love addict.
Love addiction is similar to other addictions in that it is a way to escape and not feel the way that you feel. So if you find yourself unable to be single for long and are continuously looking for someone else to be with, you might be in the love addiction category.
#5 Giving up beliefs, hobbies, time with friends and family to be with your partner more.
Not being able to maintain your own individuality because there is a fear of losing the person you are involved with and wanting to please them is an indicator of love addiction. This is the feeling of intensity in the beginning but for some love addicts, it can be something that is prominent through the relationship and can err on the side of obsessive love addiction.
The significant other or object of affection can become an “end all be all” to a love addict where they will place them above everything, even their own needs, and this can be extremely unhealthy and damaging. Having a sense of interdependence and personal time spent alone or with family and friends is crucial to maintaining longevity in a relationship. Essentially, you don’t want to smother or be smothered. That can burn out that beginning of a new relationship flame quickly.
Love Addiction: 3 Ways To Tell This Is Happening To You!
If you constantly feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster and going back to relationships that are not healthy or good for you. You might be dealing with love addiction and might need to really take a step back and look at your intentions and motivations.
Are you constantly feeling like you are overwhelmed and in fear? Do you feel like you need someone in order to be happy? Does it make you uncomfortable to be alone and sit with yourself?
These are some signs that you can tell if this is happening to you.
#1 Constantly breaking up and getting back together with someone.
Love addiction can turn into something that is very emotionally unhealthy. Because it can be something that stems from childhood and a lack of emotional care being met, a lot of love addicts will repeat their childhood in their partners and significant others or even people they put into authority figures for themselves.
Needing to go back to that person, even after the relationship is done, as a way to seek validation or make yourself feel better, is a sign of addiction.
#2 Needing intensity in a relationship in order to feel great.
Steady, easy-going, a feeling of peace would be the opposite of what is typically felt in a love addiction relationship before treatment. Most addicts are seeking the rush of endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine and chasing a “high” which can make the relationship feel extremely intense.
The more intense the relationship, the higher the person can feel. If you find yourself chasing that feeling of your heart racing in a relationship without regard to the person that you are involved with, you might be suffering from love addiction.
#3 Needing to be with someone in order to feel okay.
Being alone can cause severe depression and extreme feelings of anxiety. This can trigger a lot of emotions and make the love addict feel as though they are “missing something”.
Feeling like you need to be with someone in order to feel okay, or feeling as though you have to make someone fall in love with you and constantly validate your life, who you are or anything you are experiencing, could be a large indicator that you are struggling with love addiction.
Related: 8 Ways We Sabotage Love