Understanding the difference between passionate, true love and love addiction is crucial if you want to attract serious and healthy relationships in your life.
Have you ever felt that rush when you’re first getting to know someone and you can’t stop thinking about them? There is a surge of chemicals being released in our brains when we are initially falling for someone and pursuing them. After the chemicals calm down, you really start to get to know a person and this is where a long-term relationship can start to form now.
Unfortunately for some people, once that “crash” happens and they come down from that surge of chemicals, they tend to move on or seek something else that causes that burst of serotonin all over again. Chasing the high of falling in love is one way of describing love addiction.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with falling in love. In fact, it’s amazing! The problem happens when a person loses interest in their partner because that initial rush of endorphins died down and they leave looking for a new partner to experience those with. They’re chasing the feelings they felt and it can be difficult to think or consider the other person. In addiction, the mind takes over and self-control, or self-will, cannot stop it.
With this addiction, you’ll notice a lot of impulsivity and reward-seeking behavior. And for those struggling with this addiction, it can be a whirlwind for the addict and anyone close to them.
What is obsessive love addiction?
Obsessive love addiction, also called obsessive love disorder (OLD) is when someone has obsessive, intrusive thoughts about someone or something that can cause areas of their life to be unmanageable. Someone experiencing this is usually pretty consumed with thoughts about someone else, to the point where they will forget or just disregard their own self-care and health. Their mind is on a constant loop and stuck on the person and not at the moment.
This can come out in extreme jealousy. Not being able to let their partner talk to other people without feeling like they are going to cheat or be unfaithful in any way. It can also trigger in them a feeling of needing to protect their partner and possessive thoughts. Thinking that a person is theirs.
This is also something where people struggling with this do not take rejection well and are in constant need of reassurance. Attempting to monitor and control the person of their interests’ actions and not able to maintain their relationships with their friends and family because their focus is really only on the object of their affection. They struggle with understanding chemistry. Or struggle with understanding lust vs love.
Typically when it is this extreme, there are other mental health issues happening as well such as borderline personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. If you feel like you might be struggling with this, talk to a therapist. There is help to manage it and take control back with your life.
What Is Love Addiction And Its 5 Symptoms:
#1 Wanting to leave a relationship when the “new” feeling has worn off.
If you find yourself leaving a relationship about every 4-6 weeks and entering into a new one, you might have a problem with love addiction. Some love addicts chase the high of relationships and that feeling of falling in love. Once that feeling is over and the chemicals are no longer surging through their brains, they have a “bored” feeling and leave the relationship.
Most times love addicts will pick emotionally unavailable or abusive partners so that they can blame the relationship for not working out on the other person. It’s a subconscious way of not seeing the real problem.
#2 Constantly looking for a romantic relationship.
With this day and age of being able to swipe on apps to find your next soul mate, it’s a field day for some love addicts. Constantly looking for a relationship and even doing that while currently in one, is a trait of a love addict.
The hunt of the chase and the adrenaline of looking keeps a love addict hooked. Focusing on other people and who the next person in their life will be can take away the real-life issues and emotions that the love addict might be avoiding.