5 Things That Happen When You Stop Looking For Love

things that happen when you stop looking for love

Do you feel you need to stop looking for love? Are you considering letting go of looking for love because you have been trying and trying and trying to find it and failing?

Are you sick of dating sites and coffee shops and endless conversations with people who definitely aren’t the people for you?

I get it. Looking for love can be exhausting.

I always tell my clients that it’s ok to let go of looking for love. It doesn’t have to be forever but sometimes taking a break is the best thing that you can do.


5 Things That Happen When You Stop Looking For Love

1. You Can Give Yourself Some Rest.

Looking for love is exhausting work.

You have to make a dating profile, spend endless time swiping right or left, make tons of small talk with strangers, deal with people stalking you or disappearing, and then ultimately being disappointed when something doesn’t work out.

Who has the time and strength to deal with that?

Letting go of looking for love will give you your life back. It will give you a chance to spend time with friends, exercise, binge-watch your favorite show, go to bed early, and maybe even read a book!

Imagine what that would feel like, to not spend all of your time in the pursuit of love but to take a break and rest. Pretty amazing right?

Related: 5 Reasons Why Letting Go of a Past Love Is Important for Future Happiness

2. You Can Focus On Yourself.

It sounds like a cliché, I know. It’s a phrase people use when they have just recently broken up with someone and they want to seem strong.

But focusing on yourself is actually a fundamental part of being a healthy human, especially one in the dating world.

For many of us, dating means putting ourselves on hold. It’s hard to be our authentic selves when we are dating because we always feel like we have to put our best foot forward, to be someone who others would want to be with.

As a result, we sometimes lose ourselves in the process.

We stop doing yoga because we don’t have the time and we lose touch with how important it is for our sanity.

We stop having girls’ nights out with our friends because we want to be free to date and therefore we don’t have people to laugh with or call us on our shit, both of which are super important.

We might neglect work or family or our dog, all in the pursuit of love.

Letting go of looking for love allows us to take some time to refocus on ourselves, to get to know ourselves again. To spend time with people we love, to make a priority the things that keep us sane and to curl up in bed with our puppy, watching our favorite old movies on Netflix.

And then, once we know and love ourselves again, we might be ready to put ourselves out into the dating world, having refamiliarized ourselves with how awesome we are.

3. You Can Think More About What You Want In A Person.

Have you ever been caught up in the dating process and realized that you might be dating some people for the wrong reasons?

Do you find that perhaps height or pets or distance from your apartment are the criteria on which you are basing your willingness to date someone?

If I asked you right now what you wanted in a person, would any of those three things be the first three items on your list? Probably not.

Imagine if you met a person out there in the world, through a friend or at a bar. If you liked them and felt that chemistry, would you know or care about whether they liked dogs or cats or whether or not they lived in New Jersey? Probably not.

So, if you are considering letting go of looking for love, know that it will give you the opportunity to step back and re-assess what is really important to you in a partner.

Make a list of what you want and how your perfect person would make you feel. That way, when you do meet them, you will actually see them, no matter where they live with their cat.

Related: Can You Let Go Of Love And Still Find Happiness?

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Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.View Author posts