Dating is hard. Finding love is harder. But what is even harder is to go on a date and find true love as a strong and independent woman. You have a happy and meaningful life and you don’t “need” a man to complete you or make you happy. You have a great career, fulfilling passions and hobbies, have supportive friends and family and you genuinely love yourself.
However, for some reason you find it hard to attract decent guys who would love you and care about you for who you are. Are independent and mentally strong women doing something wrong? Are they unlovable because they love themselves? Or are they too independent to let a man take the lead in a relationship?
“A common misconception about strong women is that we don’t need the hand-holding, the flowers, and the nice gestures, and what I’ve found to be true is that it’s the strong women who want it the most.” – Nicole Curtis
The independent woman is happy with her life. But that doesn’t mean she is not looking for a man to love her and care for her. However, she is not going to spend every waking hour of her life looking for a guy. Although she doesn’t necessarily want to be alone, she is not one to make dating the most important thing in her life. This is perhaps exactly what repels most guys. And that’s where the problem lies. But just because a strong woman doesn’t need a man, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want one.
What do I mean by strong and independent women?
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” – Bryon Katie
Let me ask you what do you think a strong and independent woman is like? Someone who is happy with themselves? Someone who can take care of themselves? Someone who is comfortable being alone? That is exactly what an independent woman is. Someone who is self-reliant, self-aware and self-loving. Someone who is not desperate to find a partner. Someone who can support themselves, financially and emotionally. Someone who is happy just by being who they are.
She knows how to make things happen and how to get things done. She is motivated and passionate about her education, her career and her life. She goes all out to pursue her dreams and she does it all by herself. But somewhere she has been programmed to believe that she can’t rely on any man to help get where she wants to. To be there for her. To support her. To love her. And this makes her a bit suspicious of men who try to treat her right and be nice to her. She finds it hard to accept such generosity from men as she believes there are some conditions attached to it.
What Strong Women Often Get Wrong About Finding Love
Being happy with yourself and not needing a man to take care of you can often come with it’s own set of unique struggles and problems. Here are a few challenges independent women face when it comes to dating:
1. Finding a ‘MAN’ can be really hard
When you are a strong woman, it can be really challenging to meet a man who meets your standards. As you have a fulfilling and meaningful life yourself, you have a long wish list of qualities and traits you want in your man. However, most guys lack the confidence, courage and strength to take the pressure and show you the love you truly deserve.
2. You can be intimidating to men
Most men don’t know how to deal with women who are strong and independent, especially if you are more successful than them. Their inferiority complex holds them back from approaching you and even if they did, it would lead to a disastrous relationship. With very few men out there who are as mentally strong and independent as you are, you will find dating a stressful experience.
3. You can appear emotionless
Being a confident, self-reliant and self-loving person, you don’t feel needy or desperate for a boyfriend or a relationship. And so you’re not comfortable with a guy who is too clingy or needy. Being independent, you have your own dreams and passions to follow and you want your man to pursue his own interests as well. Someone who will challenge you to grow yet love and support you at the same time. To the wrong guy, this kind of behavior can make you look cold and heartless as he thinks you don’t value him enough.
4. You want him to love you, but you want to be alone too
Independent women love their alone time. You enjoy your own company and you are comfortable with being just by yourself, unwinding and reflecting after a hard day of work. But you also crave company and the warmth that the unconditional love of a man can offer you. And this can make you more confused than you need to be.