Sociopaths hate us.  – They need us – and hate us once we take away the toys.
When they first spot us we look like a juicy morsel of things to take.

They feel nothing much about us otherwise – until we see through them.

All sociopaths know in their “heart-of-hearts” (so to speak) that we are the ones with the real power. We have the advantage of being real people who can love and feel. We are flexible, reasonable. We have wisdom mingled in compassion. A potent elixir for the ills and sorrows of life; the stuff human kindness is made of. Sociopaths hate us – they are loveless, and without conscience. – They also know while they use us – we can ruin them by exposure. This evokes rage.


When individuals operate without a conscience they are able to do horrible things we would never dream of doing – and there is no moral compass or guilt feelings to stop them. ~ Dr. Deborah Ettel, PhD. Psychology

Sociopaths are limited. Sociopaths are reactionary, defensive, and grasping for what they perceive as power in money, and position. What ever ‘status’ they seem to hold is always fake. They have nothing without hijacking other people’s lives. This can be on a grand scale involving millions of dollars, or at a low economic level for basic needs: housing, food, internet, clothes, a phone – and all else in between. They crave a good reputation. Sometimes in the heat of being discovered, or in fear of losing a gain, they’ll take unplanned, improvised actions that may even cause themselves harm directly or indirectly in over-the-top criminality. Their weakness is a constant fear of being unmasked. This and their limited minds makes them predictable. This leaves gaps and leverage for our escape from these monsters.

There are moments when no matter the
position of the body the soul is on its knees. ~ Victor Hugo

Ten months after marrying the man of my dreams the winding, hair-pin turn, dead-drop roller coaster ride started of disengaging my life from his ruination. I felt every grueling, gut-punch. Fear never left me. Grief slept and woke with me each morning. Grief and loss are part of the PTSD after a sociopath. In my case grief was not over lost love.

My love for him broke utterly in the three days I discovered what he was. I was fortunate to have such clarity. I held no illusions or mistaken feelings that even a tiny breath of time with him had been real. He did his best to make me believe a deep vein of true love ran between us even during the ten days it took him to move out.

Those hideous moments flipped on a dime to his blatant contempt for me. As harsh as the hatred for me was – it was the truth. His fake sugar-candy sweetness, softness and humility no longer soothed me: his false kindness was evil in disguise, and potentially more dangerous than his open plots and insults.

Even grief and loss serve us well.
As human beings we can find value in those emotions.

Sociopaths hate us for being what we are – human – and paradoxically hijack our humanity because they have none. They need us for their survival – as in if we don’t believe them – if no one believed them – would they exist…?


    • Could be that one or more family members are antisocial psychopaths. Could be that some are Narcissistic as in have NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder – a very, very different condition, but also with ultimately, very slight similarities. There are other distinguishable conditions as well that may be at play or it could be they’re all just unpleasant people. – A sociopath is a specific mental capacity – a very limited one. They have abnormal brains that don’t function in the regions that allow positive bonding. Sociopaths have zero capacity for empathy, compassion, love, like, care, concern and have “personality” traits both seen and hidden that are identical to every sociopath. Sometimes even someone admiring or involved with a sociopath can’t see all these traits (that’s partially how they get away with damaging and using people) but ultimately – they expose themselves with their pathological lying, the bizarre, revolting and truly ridiculous things they; their limited and fundamentally reptilian brain is recognized.

    • Kaila, I completely understand the impulse, I had it too. – I’m assuming the “ex” is the sociopath…? The feeling makes sense – usually about 3 – 6 months after we’ve broken free of them. – I actually wrote a little snippet about the one who hijacked me online, seeking his whereabouts for divorce on BadBoyReport. He in turn wrote a massive fake one about me. It’s still there. – Three years later. He paid $1,000 to have the post I wrote about him removed. In actuality, tagging them, posting about them isn’t beneficial – doesn’t support our healing in any way – to us and only enrages them, making us a target for their rage and revenge. It also draws them and others like them to our safe places online. – They have no “shame” – not a felling they have the capacity to experience. But – they do become hugely angry when they’re exposed or accused of being what they are.