The three mental states that those with narcissistic and psychopathic tendencies love to use against the people they are trying to control.
While it is true that those who have psychopathic and narcissistic tendencies do not feel the whole range of emotions a normal human being would, they have an acute understanding of that range. While their experience with emotions is limited to superficial feeling, they are skilled at analyzing what others are going through and using that knowledge to manipulate them till they can bring them completely under their control.
Due to their inability to feel like others, they are often bored and irritable. This causes them to constantly crave for turmoil around them. Given that they are also extremely egoistic and are driven by their need to have complete control over every person and situation they come across, they try to use the feelings of other people to satiate their hunger for drama.
Psychopaths and narcissists start preparing their victims as soon as they meet them. We all know about that initial ‘honeymoon’ phase that exists in every relationship wherein each party is trying to be as perfect as possible to please the others. Psychopaths and narcissists take this a step further, acting like they are the personification of charm. They will pamper and flatter their victims so that they start thinking that they will never find anyone who will love them more or treat them better. The victims begin to feel safe and secure in the relationship and they gradually drop their guard.
This is the point when everything will change. As soon as the psychopath or narcissist sees that an intense connection has come into play, they will start treating the victims in the opposite way to what they were doing before. They will use the feelings of comfort, love, and security they have instilled in their victims to manipulate them into doing their bidding.
After the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase wherein the victim is treated like they mean the world to the psychopath or narcissist, they begin to feel contented and happy. They think that they have found someone who is giving them all their love and affection. However, the truth is that the psychopath or narcissist doesn’t understand or care to understand either of those emotions. They bear no meaning in their minds. From the start, the narcissist or psychopath knew that they would not reciprocate those emotions. They also know that if the victim remains happy, they won’t get the drama they started this relationship for in the first place. As the relationship progresses, if the victim continues to be satisfied, the narcissist or psychopath will start getting bored and frustrated. To relieve themselves, they’ll begin to exert their control over the victim in subtle ways. They’ll use the influence they have gained to silently bring down the happiness of their victim so that they will get the drama they’ve been looking for all this time.
A method they favor to get to their goals is to make their victim feel jealous. They’ll begin by making the victim believe that they have rivals for the affection of the narcissist or the psychopath. They will bring in their old partners, colleagues, acquaintances and just about anyone who is remotely connected to them, usually without the knowledge of that third party. They will use these relationships to further their narcissistic or psychopathic ambitions. Their first aim is to satisfy their own pride. This is a major driving factor behind many of their actions because their ego is so huge that it controls most of what they do. Their second goal is to ensure that the victim has been prepped to fulfill their desires while simultaneously they work to retain the victim’s love. Their third goal is to keep the victim desperate so that it will be easy to make them believe that something is wrong with them so that they will believe that they are to blame for whatever the narcissist or psychopath accuses them of doing. A good way to ensure that the victim is not stable is by keeping them jealous because of some artificial threat to their relationship with the narcissist or psychopath. By making the victim look crazy, they make themselves look like they are being oppressed even though it is the other way round. They’ll provoke the victim in front of others so that they look like they are overreacting.