Sociopaths Hate Us – When We See What They Are


Sociopaths hate us – especially after we take away their toys.
Sociopaths hate us and at the same time need us for their survival.
As any parasite, they can’t live without a “host”.

All sociopaths know in their “heart-of-hearts” (so to speak) that we are the ones with the real power. We’re resilient, mentally flexible, and have nuance emotionally.

We have the advantage of being real people who can love and feel. We are flexible, reasonable. We have wisdom mingled in compassion. A potent elixir for the ills and sorrows of life; the stuff human kindness is made of. Sociopaths hate us – they are loveless, and without conscience. – They also know while they use us – we can ruin them by exposure. This evokes rage.

When individuals operate without a conscience they are able to do horrible things we would never dream of doing – and there is no moral compass or guilt feelings to stop them. ~ Dr. Deborah Ettel, PhD. Psychology

Sociopaths are limited. Sociopaths are reactionary, defensive, and grasping for what they perceive as power in money, and position. What ever ‘status’ they seem to hold is always fake. They have nothing without hijacking other people’s lives. This can be on a grand scale involving millions of dollars, or at a low economic level for basic needs: housing, food, internet, clothes, a phone – and all else in between. They crave a good reputation. Sometimes in the heat of being discovered, or in fear of losing a gain, they’ll take unplanned, improvised actions that may even cause themselves harm directly or indirectly in over-the-top criminality. Their weakness is a constant fear of being unmasked. This and their limited minds makes them predictable. This leaves gaps and leverage for our escape from these monsters.

There are moments when no matter the position of the body the soul is on its knees. ~ Victor Hugo

Ten months after marrying the man of my dreams the winding, hair-pin turn, dead-drop roller coaster ride started of disengaging my life from his ruination. I felt every grueling, gut-punch. Fear never left me. Grief slept and woke with me each morning. Grief and loss are part of the PTSD after a sociopath. In my case grief was not over lost love.

My love for him broke utterly in the three days I discovered what he was. I was fortunate to have such clarity. I held no illusions or mistaken feelings that even a tiny breath of time with him had been real. He did his best to make me believe a deep vein of true love ran between us even during the ten days it took him to move out.

Those hideous moments flipped on a dime to his blatant contempt for me. As harsh as the hatred for me was – it was the truth. His fake sugar-candy sweetness, softness and humility no longer soothed me: his false kindness was evil in disguise, and potentially more dangerous than his open plots and insults.

Even grief and loss serve us well. As human beings we can find value in those emotions.

Sociopaths hate us for being what we are – human – and paradoxically hijack our humanity because they have none. They need us for their survival – as in if we don’t believe them – if no one believed them – would they exist…?

Our brain has a center that lights up like a Christmas tree when we, feel love or concern. Sociopaths brains do not register these feelings. They ain’t got no Christmas tree. We genuinely light up in love, joy, kindness as well as sorrow and grief. They think our emotions are ridiculous, a waste of time. Useless. They use our emotions to get what they need – so they falsely think they are in charge.

21 comments on “Sociopaths Hate Us – When We See What They Are

  1. You are entitled to your own opinions, but not your own facts.

    Some sociopaths are deeply disturbed individuals, often times, suffering from a lot more than just ASPD. Others are perfectly well-functioning members of society.

    Antisocial behavior is also a common trait of people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

    I guess people with Autism are sub-human monsters too, huh?

  2. This article is a hilarious pile of shit written by someone who lacks even a morsel of experience in human psychology. Clearly, an outlet for anger and personal hurt brought on by someone with sociopathic tendencies.

    Unfortunately, it is peoples tendency to believe that experience with mental illness makes them experts on the matter that often leads to widespread misinformation about such illnesses.

    The emotions in this post are obviously quite raw, but that doesn’t give you the right to make factually incorrect statements about a (reasonably) well understood psychological condition.

    “and paradoxically hijack our humanity because they have none”

    Factually incorrect.

    “Our brain has a center that lights up like a Christmas tree when we, feel love or concern. Sociopaths brains do not register these feelings”

    Factually incorrect.

    Our brains do not “light up like a Christmas tree”. Emotions are the result neurotransmitters such as Dopamine, Serotonin, etc. Despite common MYTH, sociopaths are perfectly capable of feeling emotion because they have these save neurochemical pathways. Sociopaths often have tumultuous relationships, but it’s not impossible for them to form emotional, even romantic bonds, especially if the healthier partner of the two can influence the other to receive help. Studies from both TYale and Harvard indicate that individuals in the community who scored high on a measure of psychopathy/sociopathy did experience regret when they made bad decisions. However, they did not use that experience to help them make better decisions in the future.

    “They can be extremely violent. They can kill”

    Factually incorrect, beyond the fact that anyone “can kill”.

    The vast majority of people medically diagnosed as ‘sociopaths’ are perfectly harmless individuals.

    This is actually another common MYTH about sociopaths; that they are ‘violent’. In fact, most sociopaths are not violent people. Simultaneously, most violent people cannot be classified as sociopaths.

    This article also perpetuates another common misconception, that sociopaths are all men.

    Please educate yourself.

    And to all the readers out there suffering through an abusive relationship, do not take the advice of some self-proclaimed internet psychologist.

    Separate yourself from this toxic blog of spew, and get real help from someone who actually knows what they are doing.

    This is an emotionally charged, fact-less blog post.

    This is dangerous misinformation that perpetuates hatred and misunderstanding towards people with what is, at the end of the day, a mental health condition. Mental health is a very complex issue, and having experience with someone who has been diagnosed with a mental illness is NOT the same as having a degree in human psychology or psychiatry.

    Sociopaths are not cruel, emotionless, inhuman people with violent tendencies. In fact, the author of this article exudes many sociopathic tendencies.

    Remember, sociopathology is a spectrum; a complex mental disorder, not a disease like cancer or the Flu that can be easily defined.

    • Outdated studies from the 1970s are the only thing suggesting that sociopaths “don’t have emotions”. Modern evidence suggests suicide is increasingly common in people with antisocial personality disorders (ie. sociopaths).

      So here you are, priding yourself for calling people with antisocial personality disorders “not human”, and making many other inflammatory claims that are just plain false.

      All the while, people who suffer from these disorders are left in the dust, widely BECAUSE of myths and misconceptions about the disorder spread by people like you.

      You should honestly be ashamed of yourself for this self-pity fest. There are lots of people in the world going through real abuse, such as rape.

    • Could be that one or more family members are antisocial psychopaths. Could be that some are Narcissistic as in have NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder – a very, very different condition, but also with ultimately, very slight similarities. There are other distinguishable conditions as well that may be at play or it could be they’re all just unpleasant people. – A sociopath is a specific mental capacity – a very limited one. They have abnormal brains that don’t function in the regions that allow positive bonding. Sociopaths have zero capacity for empathy, compassion, love, like, care, concern and have “personality” traits both seen and hidden that are identical to every sociopath. Sometimes even someone admiring or involved with a sociopath can’t see all these traits (that’s partially how they get away with damaging and using people) but ultimately – they expose themselves with their pathological lying, the bizarre, revolting and truly ridiculous things they; their limited and fundamentally reptilian brain is recognized.

      • Take note of this comment.

        Notice the incessant need to self-diagnose (or in this case diagnose others) with a mental illness IMMEDIATELY after reading 2 sentences about someones “4 brothers and older sister”?

        The extreme need for self-diagnosis, or in this case, the diagnosis of others is actually a common symptom of antisocial personality disorder. Imagine that!

        You do not know this person or their family, you quite literally read one broken sentence about them from someone who for all you know could be mentally ill themselves, so stop pretending to be a doctor and diagnosing them with NPD or ASPD.

        Here you are spreading scientifically inaccurate information again.

        “Sociopaths have zero capacity for empathy, compassion, love, like care, concern…”

        The “Reptilian brain”, also known as the Triune brain, is an oversimplified and outdated model of human neurological evolution from the 1960s. Why are you referencing it at all? It’s not seen as being remotely accurate by modern neuroscientists.

        Just goes to show that the extent of your education on human psychology comes from Wikipedia and Google.

    • Kaila, I completely understand the impulse, I had it too. – I’m assuming the “ex” is the sociopath…? The feeling makes sense – usually about 3 – 6 months after we’ve broken free of them. – I actually wrote a little snippet about the one who hijacked me online, seeking his whereabouts for divorce on BadBoyReport. He in turn wrote a massive fake one about me. It’s still there. – Three years later. He paid $1,000 to have the post I wrote about him removed. In actuality, tagging them, posting about them isn’t beneficial – doesn’t support our healing in any way – to us and only enrages them, making us a target for their rage and revenge. It also draws them and others like them to our safe places online. – They have no “shame” – not a felling they have the capacity to experience. But – they do become hugely angry when they’re exposed or accused of being what they are.

      • Badboyreport?

        You mean the website for passive aggressive sociopaths?

        Half of the posts on that site are by raging lunatics calling their partner a ‘closeted gay’ for not having sex with them or mocking their penis size. I’m sure a lot of men on that site are cheaters and scumbags, but its ridiculously obvious that a lot of the women making the posts are no different.

        Here is one of the first posts I stumbled across on the site:

        “Long story short this ugly face right here is a coward with an extremely small d*ck. … child support, mad that his last child’s mother has moved on to a real man, a real man who he actually knows and a real man who actually has a functioning penis.”

        Whoever wrote this comment is quite clearly mentally ill, regardless of whether or not they experienced infidelity.

        How ironic that you would also be a user of, and poster on, that website.

        I don’t know you or your ex, so I can’t jump to any conclusions, but I smell a tad of hypocrisy.

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