Conversational Narcissism: 5 Signs To Spot A Conversational Narcissist

Conversational Narcissism Signs To Spot

Conversational narcissism treats you like an object rather than a human being. Here are 5 signs to look out for and how to regain empowerment

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” – Epictetus

You pick up the phone. It’s Jill. Again.

“Heya, just thought I’d give you a call! How are you?”
“Good thanks J –”
“Oh, terrific! I wanted to tell you about my … [insert 5-hour monologue] …”

We’ve all had those people in our lives who seem to talk about themselves ad nauseam. Once given the opportunity to talk about themselves, they’ll snap it up in an instant showing little regard or interest in what you have to say. Ever. And if they do, you know it’s a fake mask of politeness.

These people are the conversational narcissists in your life who hog every conversation you have, leaving your head spinning. Basically, talking to a conversational narcissist is like putting your head in a blender.

So, do you have a conversational narcissist in your life? There’s only one way to find out …

Conversational Narcissism: 5 Signs To Spot A Conversational Narcissist

How To Spot The Conversational Narcissist (5 Signs)

Not all narcissists are obnoxious or dislikeable people – in fact, many of them can be charming and appealing – but deep down, they’re deeply wounded people.

Why is it so painful talking to them?

Perhaps because you can pick up on the following character traits:

  1. They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
  2. They’re usually absorbed in fantasies of power, success, beauty, or brilliance.
  3. They have unreasonable expectations of other people, i.e., that everyone else should unquestioningly comply with them.
  4. They overrate the importance of their achievements.
  5. They crave constant validation, admiration, and respect from the world.

Keeping these symptoms in mind, it’s no wonder that the conversational narcissist loves drilling you with every detail of their lives ad infinitum.

Read 9 Types of Toxic People That Will Rob You Of Your Happiness

Which Kind Of Conversational Narcissist Do You Know?

There are two types of CN’s. These are the: Active Conversational Narcissists + Passive Conversational Narcissists.

So let’s explore the first.

1. Active Conversational Narcissism

This breed of narcissists always ends up shifting the attention onto themselves in conversations.

They do this by giving a few “supportive responses” so as not to appear rude, but end up using more “shifting responses.”

Please note that it’s normal and healthy to share stuff about yourself, as long as you direct the conversation back to the other person. (And take interest in them!)

Here’s a couple of examples of supportive vs. unsupportive conversations:

Example 1 – Supportive

  • Person A – “I’m going to buy a puppy today.”
  • Person B – “Really? What breed are you wanting to get?”

Example 2 – Unsupportive

  • Person A – “I’m going to buy a puppy today.”
  • Person B – “Really? I was thinking about buying a puppy for my daughter as well!”
  • Person A – “Oh, yeah?”
  • Person B – “Uh-huh, I thought that a golden retriever would be … [30-minute monologue].”

2. Passive Conversational Narcissism

This subtle form of conversational narcissism occurs when you share something, and the conversational narcissist withholds their supporting responses until the conversation fizzles out.

Read Histrionic Personality Disorder: How This Type Of Narcissism Works In Women

Supporting responses are for instance acknowledgments that indicate you’re listening, e.g., “uh-huh,” “OK,” “Hmm.”

They’re also statements that demonstrate active listening such as, “That’s awesome!” “Why did you do that?” “What are you planning to do now?”

Passive conversational narcissists withhold these statements, showing disinterest so that the conversation ends up dying – and is directed back to them.


  • Person A – “I’m going to the casino tonight!”
  • Person B – ” (Pause) … oh, right … (pause)”
  • Person A – “I’m really excited because I won $200 last week!”
  • Person B – ” (Silence) …”
  • Person A – “Have you been there recently?”
  • Person B – “Oh yeah, I went a few weeks ago with my friends, it’s really interesting because we … blah blah blah.”
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Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.comView Author posts