Having detailed some of the mind games that we, narcissists, deploy against you, leads to the inevitable question of why do we do this? I daresay that some of you will be tempted to answer:
“Because you are all arseholes.”
Whilst this is understandable and potentially accurate (when viewed from your perspective) it is not going to provide you with any insight into the workings of our minds and behaviors. Accordingly, I will expand on why it is we use mind games comprehensively.
15 Reasons Why Narcissists Use Mind Games To Exploit You
1. Fuel.
An obvious one and rightly the first one that is considered. The application of mind games to the dynamic between you and us is done in order to prompt an emotional reaction from you and thus garner fuel from you.
Whether you become upset, distraught, frustrated, annoyed, or angry as a consequence of the games being played, it is all fuel which we will readily drink up.
Related: Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: 10 Signs You’ve Experienced Narcissistic Abuse
2. Control.
We are obsessed with control. Our environment must be beholden to us. We have to control everything around us in order to ensure that we continue to exist, receive fuel, minimize and remove risks, and so forth.
By subjecting you to mind games, we are able to achieve this need for control, since you become trapped by them, you remain paralyzed by their effects as you try to establish what is happening, rather than knowing them for what they are and moving away from them.
3. Future planning.
It is a common outcome from entangling with our kind that you will be labeled as The Crazy One once you have been discarded or escaped, as part of the smear campaign. The mind games bring about such a state of mind in you that it becomes easy enough for us to point to your behavior during devaluation, your behavior post discard/escape, and demonstrate that you are indeed unhinged.
There are very few people who can actually resist the proliferation of mind games and not be affected by them in some way and many people are left at the end of their tether creating an appearance of being “crazy”.
4. Façade management.
By engaging in games where we are in control, you are seen as histrionic and volatile, where we are calm and pleasant to everybody but you and causing people to form an adverse view about you, this allows us to manage and maintain the façade.
We have an array of lieutenants and members of our coterie who all regard us as decent and kind, which then makes your life even harder in terms of trying to persuade people about what we really are.
Related: 11 Manipulative Techniques Narcissists Use To Control You
5. Superiority reinforcement.
We operate from the perspective that we are superior to everybody around us and especially you. By engaging in games where we are able to pull the strings, make you upset and angry and exert control, allows us to emphasize that we are indeed superior to you.
6. Self-defence.
Many of the mind games that we engage in are because we need to defend ourselves from being challenged or criticized.
Hence when we project, deny, deflect and blame-shift, although there may be a collateral benefit in terms of how it affects you, the primary reason for engaging in this behavior is to protect ourselves by rejecting blame, preventing your challenge, and addressing criticism.
7. Exhaustion.
With any situation, you respond to it more effectively when you are rested and able to think in a clear manner. The deployment of mind games causes you to become exhausted which results in your lacking clarity, experiencing reduced resistance, and diminished willpower.
This means that you are far less likely to try to escape what you are doing and far more likely to accept doing what we want.
Related: Why Is It So Hard To Leave A Covert Narcissist? 5 Manipulative Traps They Use
