Are you being manipulated? Is a narcissist trying to dominate and control you?
Narcissists are toxic people who use maladaptive behaviors to manipulate and exploit friends, partners and family members. They care only about themselves and will do anything to get what they want. They may appear charming and reasonable. So it’s easy to fall victim to the various strategies used by narcissists to control you.
Who Is A Narcissist?
To a narcissist, they are the center of their own universe. They believe in using people to fulfill their own desires. Narcissists lack empathy for others and use overconfidence to mask their insecurities & low self-esteem. They feel superior by demeaning others and by demanding constant attention & admiration.
Narcissists are often bullies and may cause emotional trauma to others. They make promises that they don’t keep. A narcissist will make you feel weak, unimportant, uncared & ignored affecting your self-esteem and confidence.
Here are 10 strategies used by narcissists to manipulate and dominate you.
1. They Devalue You
A narcissist will start by praising you incessantly and putting you on a pedestal. Once you are addicted to their intoxicating charm, they will change their personality in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, they will start insulting you, engage in name calling, and criticizing your opinions, beliefs and qualities they once admired. This can seriously affect your emotional and mental health.
2. They Bring In Third Person Perspective
By using third-party reinforcements, they validate themselves further. This method of Triangulation can make you suspect your own judgments. The third person is often manipulated to support the narcissist and invalidate you. The third person is used as a weapon against you.
3. They Can Be Very Aggressive
Narcissists can easily burst out of anger to make you surrender. They use scare tactics like verbal and physical aggression whenever triggered. They will show a complete lack of control over their behavior. They will intimidate you, threaten you, control your behavior & relationships, and make you do things they want by making you afraid.
4. They Shame You
They will use your vulnerabilities and insecurities in their favor by shaming you publicly and privately. By shaming you about your biggest insecurity, they will manipulate you until you lose your sense of worth and self-esteem. They will often say it was a joke after making you feel weak and looking for validation from them.
5. They Make You Feel Crazy
Crazy-making or gaslighting is an insidious manipulative strategy that makes you question your own sanity. You will feel as if you’re imagining things and lose your sense of reality. This will stop you from confronting misbehavior and abuse. Gaslighting is dangerous as there is no proof of whether they actually did or said something irrationally.
6. They Brainwash You
A narcissist will brainwash you to believe that they own you and you serve them without questioning. You will willingly do things they want, even if you’re uncomfortable. If you fail to do what they ask, they will make you feel guilty and that you’re a failure.
7. They Control Everything
Narcissists take charge over everything making you feel powerless and dependent on them. You will completely rely on them to get anything done. If anything threatens their control over you and your life, they will make sure to get rid of it to gain back their dominance.
8. They Act Victimized
Narcissists play the victim to make you feel guilty even though they are the abusers. They will trick you and make you feel they need you. They use devious tactics and make false promises to manipulate you to comply to their wishes. You will end up feeling that you are the one abusing their feelings and you need to change yourself to make them happy.
9. They Talk Only About Themselves
A narcissist will easily convert any conversation and make it about them. They will start bragging about themselves and their achievements, even if they need to lie. They will never say anything positive about anyone or anything else which does not concern them. If you manage to change the topic, they will quickly change it back to them and completely ignore what you said.
10. They Shift Blame
They are the masters of projection and use it as a defensive mechanism to avoid any responsibility. As they believe they are perfect, they desperately try shifting blame on others to avoid their own shortcomings. By making others feel ashamed and guilty, they easily avoid being held accountable.