3 Best-Kept Narcissist Secrets That will Make Everything Clear

60703
3 Best-Kept Narcissist Secrets That will Make Everything Clear



You realize you’re in a war, right?

Ok, so maybe no actual firearms or tanks are involved, but you are definitely in a bloody battle for your sanity.

I hate to dredge up the painful reality of it all, but your toxic, self-absorbed partner is using the three best-kept secrets used by narcissists world-wide – against you!  Secrets that, when used proficiently, can bring other human beings to their knees – regardless of status, intellect, education, or material wealth.

…dirty secrets that can (and often do) result in their unsuspecting partners becoming so broken and dysfunctional that they lose everything – careers, children, homes, licenses (such as those required to perform as doctors, attorneys, and therapists), bank accounts, and worst of all, their sense of self.




Below, I offer an insider exposé that will have you screaming, “Victory!!”  – or at the very least, make everything clear so that you’ll feel empowered to detach from the madness, reclaim your good judgement and reason, and move towards your new life.


1. Narcissists will not appreciate anything you do to accommodate and placate them.

I know you work hard to please your partner.  I sure did, back in the day when I was “green” narcissistic supply.   I could go into the hellish details of all I did for him and his family, but I’ll spare you.

Narcissists want you to believe that even your best efforts are not good enough.  The reason they do this is so they can keep you scurrying about for their approval, but never quite receiving it.  Before long, you’re doing the work of three people, yet not being acknowledged for it.

Maybe they really liked the chocolate cake you made them last year for their birthday, but after that, each time you made it for them, there was something wrong with it.

Or perhaps, once upon a time, they said you looked pretty when they picked you up for a date, but ever since then you can’t seem to dress right, the colors you wear are all wrong, you’ve gained weight, etc.  Why can’t you just dress like the new secretary at their job or the new CEO who always looks so sharp? 

Do you work two jobs, keep the house clean, pay most or all of all the bills, take care of their errands, and/or cook dinner most nights, but never receive even a simple nod of approval?




This cruel tactic works in two ways – 1) it ensures you will be willing to do whatever they ask at a moment’s notice (hoping they’ll show some sign of appreciation), and 2) destroy your confidence and self-esteem as you develop the belief that nothing you do is ever good enough.

Even if you are highly successful in your professional life and have friends and family who’ve always appreciated what you’ve done for them, the narcissist doesn’t want you to feel any pride or sense of accomplishment – because if you did, you might realize they are using you and consequently decide to do something about it.




1
2
3
Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of two Kindle bestsellers, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and 10 Essential Survivor Secrets to Liberate Yourself from Narcissistic Abuse. She is also writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior, for Balboa Press, a division of Hay House. ⁣⁣In addition to her own site, Kim also blogs for Psych Central. Her writing has also been featured on Selfgrowth.com, Thought Catalog, The Mind's Journal, MOGUL, and EverythingEHR. She has been a guest expert on several radio shows including Mental Health News Radio, The Overwhelmed Brain, The Inner Revolution, Write of Your Life, and Codependency No More. ⁣⁣In 2016, Kim founded The New Life Academy, which is an online school dedicated to helping survivors of narcissistic abuse to restore and redesign their lives. Kim holds a Bachelor of Arts in Education and has a multidisciplinary background in teaching, organizational development, HR training, and research. Her blog, Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, has reached 195 countries. Her work has been shared in non-profit women's shelters and has been lauded by therapists and mental health experts. You can find Kim at letmereach.com

8 COMMENTS

  1. I keep coming as cross these articles and wholeheartedly agree; but my question is what when it’s a female narcissists? A female narc who currently has the kids because she unilaterally decided they were going with her, who let’s me see them once or twice a week for an hour or two at a time? And everybody says take her to court and do this or that, but before she left me she called the people I was working for and started a bunch of stuff going there and then through MY mistakes because of everything going on in life I ended up losing my job, I had lost 8 close friends during a rough period of life and had just lost both of my brothers 6 months apart right before she went on her tirades… insulting my then dead brothers, insulting my efforts to memorialize them saying no gives a crap what you have to say about your dead brothers, punching me, throwing my brothers memorial books at me, belittling everything single thing about me, and just being devastating, she withheld sex for 4 years and i was still trying to make the marriage work for the sake of the kids. She hit me in the back of the head with a mag light flashlight and then called the police in me, I discovered she was cheating and she punched me in the face when I played the recording for her and said that I was creepy, crazy, and a stalker and she no longer felt safe because I had violated her privacy no word on the affair though… the fact is she cleared our accounts everything was joint and I assumed in the beginning when I was giving her money for her and the kids that she was paying the Bill’s but it turned out she was having a new house built and let everything in my name go unpaid so when I found out she was moving out every bill was 4 months behind and now I ca nah t afford to take her to court and she is toxic to those boys who she now says arent even mine and whether I believe her or not doesnt matter because in my heart they are mine… what do you do if you cant bring about justice because of situations she created but you cant sit back and just let your kids slip away either…any advice on this would be great from literally anyone