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7 Signs You’ve Arrived as a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse

Signs Arrived as Survivor Narcissistic Abuse

Being a survivor of abuse is not easy. Even though the abuse was not your fault, going through it day in and day out, and finally escaping from it can be a mentally and emotionally taxing experience. If you are a survivor of abuse, then this article can help you deal with your pain and trauma.

Recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse can seem like an ordeal of the most grievous kind. You may have endured months of struggle and suffering without knowing if you’re making any progress because the pull to go back remains strong.  You miss the moments under your abuser’s sway because, in your traumatized mind, cognitive dissonance and memories of so-called “good times” cloud your objectivity.

How do you know where you stand on your road to recovery?  Victory isn’t always in-your-face.

Arriving as a survivor of abuse comes in waves, even ripples, but if you experience the following seven signs, you can feel gratified knowing that healing is within your reach.

Related: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Can You Go Back To Being The Person You Were Before Narcissistic Abuse?

7 Signs You’ve Arrived as a Survivor of Abuse

1)  You’ve begun to appreciate that self-care is something you need to participate in inconsistently.

Not only because you are healing from emotional abuse, but because healthy people, in general, understand the importance of putting on their oxygen masks before they can help others.

Life can be stressful enough without the added obstacle of toxic abuse.  It only stands to reason that if you’re healing from narcissistic abuse, your body and mind require extreme self-care.  This might include reducing social engagements, staying off of the internet, saying “no” to friends and family, taking a nap when you feel exhausted, and making time to do meditations.

You resist the urge to make excuses as to why you can’t take care of yourself, realizing that even single mothers can work self-care into their schedules. If you are a single mother, you deliberately get a babysitter on occasion to take yourself out.

You do guided meditations at night. You journal and do mirror work.  If a friend asks you to visit and you don’t have the energy, you respectfully decline.  You take the initiative to be a little “selfish” because you understand the need to do so after putting out other people’s fires for too long.

survivor of narcissistic abuse
survivor of abuse

2)  You do what it takes to protect your mental and physical space.

You no longer acquiesce to things that intrude on your privacy and peace of mind.

Most narcissists and other Cluster-B disordered individuals pull out all the stops when trying to hook a previous source of supply back into their realm of crazy.  They pretend to have changed, to want to be friends (especially for the “sake of the kids”), to be just another normal person going through a typical breakup or divorce.  They may go so far as to tell you their relationship problems with their new partner.

Arriving as a survivor means you no longer want, nor tolerate, any of those things.  You want peace and autonomy so badly that you are willing to go complete No Contact and resolve not to let them into your home anymore.  You don’t leave yourself open to any of their tomfoolery, and instead, put up all necessary boundaries to protect your new sense of peace.

Related: 9 Things You Can Do To Help A Survivor Of Emotional Abuse

3)  You no longer care about how your Ex will react to your decisions.

You don’t worry whether your life choices will make your Ex angry or make life “inconvenient” for them.  You understand that true fulfillment means honoring your own dreams, desires, and ambitions regardless of how your ex may respond.  As long as you abide by any court orders in place, you know that your future is in your own hands.

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Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of two Kindle bestsellers, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and 10 Essential Survivor Secrets to Liberate Yourself from Narcissistic Abuse. She is also writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior, for Balboa Press, a division of Hay House. ⁣⁣In addition to her own site, Kim also blogs for Psych Central. Her writing has also been featured on Selfgrowth.com, Thought Catalog, The Mind's Journal, MOGUL, and EverythingEHR. She has been a guest expert on several radio shows including Mental Health News Radio, The Overwhelmed Brain, The Inner Revolution, Write of Your Life, and Codependency No More. ⁣⁣In 2016, Kim founded The New Life Academy, which is an online school dedicated to helping survivors of narcissistic abuse to restore and redesign their lives. Kim holds a Bachelor of Arts in Education and has a multidisciplinary background in teaching, organizational development, HR training, and research. Her blog, Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, has reached 195 countries. Her work has been shared in non-profit women's shelters and has been lauded by therapists and mental health experts. You can find Kim at letmereach.comView Author posts