Signs Of A Hypocrite And The People They Target
Hypocrisy is probably one of the most common things you can come across in your life. No matter how many people you know or have in your life, you will definitely be knowing at least one hypocrite. Any sane individual would know that conversing with a hypocrite can drain you of your mental energy and leave you boiling with anger.
However, if you are someone who is in a relationship with a hypocrite, the situation is ten times worse. Since you are intimately and deeply connected with this person, it is extremely difficult for you to give up on them in spite of knowing how they are. And, one of the defining characteristics of a hypocrite is their ability to know which kind of people to exploit. They look for empathetic people who will always give them the benefit of the doubt and trust them blindly.
Hypocrites spend their lives cheating, betraying, conning, and deceiving. But despite this disgusting pattern of behavior, they still feel entitled to point out (or invent) the most minor mistakes in others—and they’ll point them out repeatedly, to negate & excuse all of their own horrible actions.
As a result, you spend more and more time trying to prove your ethics to the most unethical person on the planet. You end up feeling guilty for being five minutes late to a date (months ago), while they gleefully cheat on you with another man or woman.
If the moral scales in your life seem to be skewed beyond all recognition, you likely encountered a pathological hypocrite—or a psychopath.
Signs of a Hypocrite
Here are some warning signs of a hypocrite.
1. Their actions and words are not related.
“Actions speak louder than words”- this particular phrase can be used to perfectly define a hypocrite. There is a vast difference between what they say and what they actually do. However, you cannot call them out on it because they will do whatever they want to. If they go out for dinner with their ex, it is fine but if you go out with your friends without them, its not.
“A hypocrite is more dangerous than a dishonest man. A dishonest man deceives and cheats, and a hypocrite betrays and swindles.” – Dr T.P.Chia
2. Rules are simply for others to follow, not them.
Politicians are a classic example of hypocrisy. They will preach about what is morally right and what is not, but they will conveniently forget it themselves and perform all sorts of immoral activities. Hypocrites are known for their controlling attitude and mindset. You will have to listen to what they want from you, but never the other way round.
3. It is never their fault.
No matter how horrendous they are to you, you cannot complain when you are dealing with a hypocrite. If you point out their faults, they will twist it into something else and make it seem like it is someone else’s fault that they are the way they are! If a hypocrite is being difficult or mean, it is their belief that their partner should understand and adjust with them.
4. Showing their faults calls for punishment and a victim story.
If you choose to confront them with their faults, you will be punished. This is normally done through cheating, triangulation and most commonly—the silent treatment. Their bad behavior always has a sob-story behind it. They learned to lie because of their abusive parent, or their abusive ex. They hate drama; all they’ve ever wanted is some peace & quiet, and yet they provoke more drama than anyone you’ve ever known. They declare their hatred of negativity, all the while calling you crazy or over-emotional to anyone who will listen, even when you are completely ignoring them.
Hypocrites are known for gaslighting people. They will make you feel like the problem is in you and not them. Or what you are saying is all in your head and none of it makes sense. Such people will emotionally manipulate you and constantly lie to you, in order to portray themselves as the logical and correct one. They will continue to behave like this, till you genuinely start to believe that what they are saying is true and that the problem isn’t in them, it’s in you.
“An open foe may prove a curse but a pretended friend is worse. ” – Ben Franklin
A hypocrite’s ideal target exhibits the following behavior:
1. They do what they say.
Empathetic people never feel the need to show off the good things they do in their lives, unlike hypocrites. Whatever they say and believe in, they make sure that they implement that in real life.
2. They are inherently good and harmless people.
Such people highly respect rules and ethics and always try to abide by them. They hardly get into trouble and are the best example of being “safe”. Whenever you are with them, be rest assured that you will be taken care of and you won’t fall into any kind of sticky situation.
It’s the hardest thing in the world to go on being aware of someone else’s pain.” ― Pat Barker
3. It Is Always My Fault.
A classic trait of empaths is believing that it is always their fault, no matter what. Even if they have done nothing wrong, somehow hypocrites will make them believe that they are in the negative. Exploiting this weak point is what hypocrites do best.
5. Despite being a victim, they choose to believe that they are not.
Survivors remain largely silent after abuse, anonymously seeking out help for the nightmare they experienced. Ironically, a hypocrite will scream that you’re a perpetual victim for trying to quietly recover from the hell they put you through, which is also known as victim-blaming. Despite doing a ton of wrong things, a hypocrite will never apologize, whereas an empath will do so without even being a tiny bit guilty!
6. Compromising is like second nature to them.
Ideal targets will try to make things right by compromising and adjusting, even if they do not need to. Since they see everything from an emotional standpoint, they choose to ignore the warning signs and solely focus on making their loved ones happy.
When a hypocrite and an empath come together, it is a recipe for disaster.
Hypocrites walk away scot-free but when it comes to the empaths, they are left with their spirit and confidence broken. Additionally, hypocrites also leave them with a lot of mental scars and painful memories.
“The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.” – William Hazlitt
Worrying about your own good nature is actually the first sign that everything is going to be just fine. You see, worry is proof of a conscience—something pathological hypocrites don’t have.
From your own experience, do you have any examples of hypocrisy?