It often gets difficult to Survive loneliness. It grips you like a never-ending ailment, you try to get rid of it but it irks you more and leads you to the dark!
Loneliness can be compared to a thick winter’s fog.
It stifles and strangles you, pulling you under a heavy blanket of depression, pervading all that you see.
Loneliness causes you to filter life through a lens of desolation and deep despair. Your spirit becomes so heavy with the weight of your isolation that you often feel like laying down and dying.
I know. I’ve been there many times.
Whether you feel loneliness in a crowd, in your marriage, in your workplace, friend circle, religion, culture, or simply by yourself, there is hope.
I’ve felt alone for many years of my life, either because of my temperament, or the religion that was imposed on me since birth, which taught that outsiders were “evil”, causing me to distance myself from everyone. Since then, I’ve left religion, but still, find it difficult connecting with people.
While I still feel like an Outsider, in the year prior to meeting Sol, I discovered how to be alone but not feel lonely.
I want to share with you today how exactly I did this.
Today, I want to share with you how I turned my desert of loneliness into a garden of Solitude.
How to Survive Loneliness
I hope these 10 recommendations will open some new doors for you:
1. Learn to have fun by yourself again
This was perhaps the most important method I used to overcome my loneliness.
When we lose friends or family members, or simply drift away from everyone around us, we tend to lose all sense of fun and playfulness, preferring to wallow in our misery instead.
Realize that you can have fun alone and that you don’t need to rely on others to make you happy.
The person who can enjoy life alone can never have happiness taken away from them – to truly understand this is liberating!
I started by sticking flyers about diarrhea all over the walls and mirrors of a woman’s bathroom. I never knew fecal matter could be so freeing! Start by doing something small that you enjoy. If you used to like being wacky, be wacky. If you used to like being reckless, be reckless. Take small steps first.
Regain what you have lost, by yourself. You will be a stronger and better person that way. Why? Because you won’t rely on, or use, other people for your entertainment.
2. Learn to laugh again
As you may know, laughing has been scientifically proven to benefit your health. But what happens when you’re lonely? Well, chances are, you don’t laugh. At all. I didn’t.
When you really think about it, it’s pitiful how much we rely on others to make us happy.
That’s why learning how to laugh again, by yourself is so important. It empowers you, and once again, it allows you to not use other people for your entertainment. They’re not vending machines after all!
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, try putting on a funny film. Not only does it take your focus away from yourself and your misery, but it reboots those endorphins in your brain again. Funny pictures can also help, like those found on this website. Thank god for LOLCats.
3. Have an intimate time, alone
I realize how intimidating that sounds. Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you have a downstairs rendezvous or anything (although that could help).
My definition of intimate time is spending quality time with yourself, just like with a friend, or someone you love.
I did this by spending a few minutes every day looking at myself in a mirror. I understand how bizarre that sounds, but staring deeply into your eyes and smiling every day really makes you feel happy.
One result of this strange practice of mine was increased self-acceptance. Every day we tend to look at ourselves in mirrors to pamper and preen, but only superficially. But have you ever stopped to stare at yourself – earnestly? Try it, and you may be blown away at how much self-awareness you develop.
4. Become your own best friend
I’m sure you’ve had a best friend in the past that now, for one reason or another, has drifted away. How did they treat you? Most people would say something along the lines of “nicely”, “considerately”, or “kindly”.
Is that the way you treat yourself? If not, why? Why can’t you be your own best friend? What is it about yourself that you’re so insecure or hateful about? Don’t you deserve love and respect just like everyone else? Exactly.
But many people falsely believe that a best friend can only be someone else. This is an absurd idea, because how can you learn to love and appreciate people truly if first you don’t love and appreciate yourself?
Treat yourself kindly. Compliment yourself. Be considerate towards yourself, and show respect. This is the foundation of self-love.