Why You Should Never Let Your Loneliness Drive You Back To A Toxic Ex

Written By:

Marisa Donnelly

Your loneliness might try to convince you that crawling back to your toxic ex is the right thing to do, but don’t listen to it. Never listen to the lies your loneliness tries to feed you.




Everyone gets lonely. Read those words again: everyone gets lonely.

I know sometimes you feel like you’re the only person with a broken heart, or that you’re the only one who hasn’t found love. I know sometimes you just want to give up or fall back into what’s familiar because you’re afraid of being alone.



But you should never let loneliness drive you back to your toxic ex.

Even though falling back into a connection with an ex may seem comfortable and safe, it’s actually one of the most damaging things you can do.

Here Is Why You Should Never Let Your Loneliness Drive You Back To A Toxic Ex




1. At The Core, Nothing Has Changed.

If you’re feeling like you want to get back with a toxic ex, ask yourself this question: what has really changed?

If you can’t identify ways that the relationship would be different, or how you two could create healing and a stronger, healthier bond, then you’re kidding yourself. There’s no reason to return to something that didn’t work in the first place.

Related: How to Deal With Loneliness (13 Steps For Isolated Souls)

2. You Can’t Fix Brokenness Out Of Desperation.

You may think that you can fix what was broken by giving it another shot. At the core, giving people and relationships another chance is a good thing.

But not if the connection was unhealthy to begin with.

You can’t let loneliness drive you back to your toxic ex. Brokenness isn’t something that can be fixed because you’re scared, because you’re desperate, or because you’re hoping things will change. Even though it may be hard to accept, you’re better off alone than running back to someone who hurt you.




3. You Can’t Let Fear Guide Your Decisions.

Maybe you’re afraid of being alone. Maybe you’re afraid of not finding someone who can heal the hole in your heart that your toxic ex left. Here’s something you need to remember: you are not permanently broken and there isn’t a hole within you.

You are a complete person, even though you’ve been hurt.

Don’t let fear drive you back to the person who broke your heart. Although being alone will undoubtedly be hard, you have to believe that the right person will come to you when the timing’s right. You have to believe that you won’t be lonely forever.

Related: 5 Brutal Truths About Being Alone and How To Deal

4. There Are Far Better Things And People Out There.

There are better people out there. There are relationships with people who will love you for who you are and not ask you to bend, shift, or change. You will find someone who won’t abuse or mistreat you, who won’t run at the first sign of trouble.

I know you may be lonely right now, but that’s not a permanent place. You will rise from the pain, find someone who will treat you better, and move forward with a smile on your face.

Hold on.




Why You Should Never Let Your Loneliness Drive You Back To Your Toxic Ex
never let your loneliness drive you pin


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— About the Author —

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa Donnelly is a Midwest-born, West Coast-based writer, poet, essayist, and editor. She is the author of the poetry collection, Somewhere On A Highway and the founder of the remote writing coaching/editing services company, Be A Light LLC (bealightcollective.com).
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