Are you feeling broken and wondering how to get over someone you deeply loved? You need to heal your heart so that you can learn to love again.
One of the hardest things you will ever experience in life is a broken heart. You start a new relationship with so much hope and love. Yet, by the time it’s over, that hope is on life support and you’re curled up into a ball and crying your eyes out.
If only you knew how to get over someone you once loved and heal your broken heart. It seems like each time your heart breaks, it hardens a little as you swear you will never let that happen to you again.
The truth is you can learn how to heal a broken heart and move on so you can better at love — more vulnerable, more loving, and more skilled at making it last.
But, you have to decide to learn and grow from the experience instead of being broken by it.
Whether you initiated the breakup or were blindsided by your ex, the feelings of grief and loss can be overwhelming. What we know to be true is that when your heart breaks, it breaks open to hold more love.
When people are heartbroken, most people just wing it when it comes to healing and moving on. But, you can turn what feels like a tragedy into a huge gift for yourself, if you’re willing to take a new approach.
What does it look like to take a more conscious approach to heartbreak so you can know how to let go and move on for good?
Here are 5 ways to get over someone, heal your heart, and move on.
How To Heal A Broken Heart and Get Over Someone You Once Loved
1. Take time to feel your feelings
Instead of trying to muscle through and act like you’re a big girl now, allow yourself to feel all the icky feelings that come up.
Guilt, shame, rage, whatever is there — allow these feelings to move through you. Book yourself some time to mourn in your calendar and if you don’t feel like it when the time comes, use music to inspire you to feel.
The great thing about your feeling state is that it is always temporary. Your feelings will not last. When we feel bad, we fear we’ll never ever feel better. However, when we feel bliss we’re never delusional enough to think that it will last.
There’s even nothing wrong with throwing yourself a pity party, as long as you remember to set an end time.
Consciously choose to feel your feelings
When you consciously choose to feel your feelings, instead of just wallowing in them, you bring attention to that part of you that is hurting. Give yourself a time limit and do nothing else while you are feeling and expressing.
Don’t try to eat your feelings with ice cream and donuts. Don’t try to rationalize or justify how you feel by going over in your mind what went wrong. Don’t allow yourself to numb out into a funk and prolong the experience.
Do schedule time in your calendar to just feel your feelings. Scream, cry, pound your pillow, heck you can even buy yourself a set of dishes from a thrift store and find a dumpster to break them in.
Maybe draw yourself a nice warm bath and start off crying and screaming underwater (where no one will hear you). Let it all out, and when you’re done you can simply relax in the tub and refuel.
Whatever allows you to feel and express, that’s what you want to do and do a lot of it. Consciously choosing to set aside time to feel and express your feelings will allow them to pass through you and to create room for the feelings of grief to change.