“We think that forgiveness is weakness, but it’s absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive.”
― T. D. Jakes
Was it all my fault? We ask ourselves this question frequently. As humans, we can be too harsh on ourselves when we’re hurt by rejection or when our feelings are violated, we tend to blame ourselves quickly.
Scars from the past do not heal easily, they take time. But once you accept yourself and your reality, and embrace it, you’ll be free from all the pain and despair. Being able to forgive yourself is a milestone to self-love and it requires a lot of compassion and empathy.
If there’s one thing you should learn this year, it is forgiveness, especially, forgiveness towards yourself. No matter what mistakes you have made, be kind to yourself and have the power to forgive yourself for that.
Here are 12 things you should forgive yourself for
1. Forgive Yourself For Your Past.
There’s a saying, “If you keep looking back, you will not go forward.” Most of us dwell in the past, whether it’s memories or things that may have happened.
You feel uncomfortable when someone mentions something that you had done in the past. You might have messed up an interview or your stage performance and that trauma is still with you.
It’s easy for past mistakes to haunt our present; however, it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. You will become stronger when you gracefully embrace your mistakes and learn from them. Look where you are now, you can achieve so much by moving forward!
2. Forgive Yourself When You Feel Vulnerable.
“What happens when people open their hearts?” “They get better.”― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
Feeling vulnerable is one of the most natural feeling that one can experience and you mustn’t fear being vulnerable.
Forgive yourself when you feel weak, we all have imperfections and flaws, so don’t reside in self-doubt or insecurities. As they say, “acceptance is key” and we should learn to accept and love ourselves, for all that we are.
3. Forgive Yourself For All Your Messed Up Relationships.
Relationships tend to be difficult and fail for many reasons, for instance when there is a lack of trust or communication, conflicting viewpoints, etc.
But, that doesn’t mean that your future relationships won’t work out. You have to focus on the present and not your failed relationships in the past, to love the person who is right for you.
If it didn’t work out, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Even if you felt that the person was the one for you, you tried your best and now you have to let go of them. So, forgive yourself and begin living a life that brings you new experiences and brings out the best in you.
4. Forgive Yourself When You Have Disrespected Your Parents.
Parents are the only ones who love us unconditionally. However, as teenagers, we are emotional, impulsive and moody. Even if you didn’t mean to, you acted awfully when your parents tried explaining something to you. Somehow, you were always infuriated by what they had to say.
No matter how old you are now, one way to forgive yourself for behaving rudely with them is by giving them a hug, telling them that you love them. Acknowledge your mistakes, it’s never too late to say sorry.
5. Forgive Yourself From The Guilt Of Being Judgmental.
As difficult as it seems, we have been internalized with stereotypes and judging people on the basis of what we see. It takes years of effort and unlearning to let go of biases. Sometimes, we do it unconsciously, and sometimes we do it consciously.
So it’s important that you recognize the things that could be negative and hurtful and try not to repeat them again. Lastly, forgive yourself for the guilt that you may have and focus on loving and accepting others for who they are.