Did you know that more than 20% of the global population is in an abusive relationship with a partner or family member? This sounds like a big number until you consider that somewhere around 80% of the world’s population is in an abusive relationship with themselves – and most don’t even know it. This is called self abuse!
The Stranger in the Mirror is You!
The best way to see if you abuse yourself is to imagine that someone else is treating you the way you treat yourself. How would you feel if …
Your friend spoke to you, the way you speak to yourself?
Your significant other neglected you, the way you neglect yourself?
Your co-worker judged you, the way you judge yourself?
In most cases, if others treated us the way we treat ourselves, we would feel abused, and we would be right. If it’s not okay for others to treat us abusively, why is it okay to treat ourselves this way?
Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but trust me, it really, really is!
The harm we unconsciously do to ourselves manifests as issues, challenges, and missed opportunities, and when self abuse goes on day after day, sooner or later, it shows up in our health and finances.
But, why do we abuse or neglect ourselves?
Understanding Self Abuse
Self abuse is the natural consequence of withholding self love because when we don’t love ourselves, we instinctually don’t treat ourselves well, but what prevents self love?
The reason why so many of us have huge blocks when it comes to self love is due to the fact that we have been falsely taught that we must prove our worth, over and over again, before we are worthy of love. This dynamic causes most people to go through their lives secretly feeling unworthy, and, therefore, withholding self love.
If you don’t remember that you are unconditionally worthy of love, you are not going to treat yourself lovingly and you won’t believe in yourself, and this ultimately results in habitual self-judgment.
When you are in an abusive relationship with yourself, it most often shows up in the way you speak with yourself, inevitably causing you to fill your mind with toxic negative thinking, while, at the same time, dismissing inner guidance and undermining telltale emotions.
Abuse or neglect encompasses anything that compromises your needs or sacrifices your integrity, including surrounding yourself with negativity and depriving yourself of joy and peace.
The combination of chronic self-judgment and the withholding of self love is abusive in itself but it also sets the stage for other types of abuse, and, oftentimes, other people demonstrate our lack of self love and self-respect by abusing us, as well. More often than not, when we are self-abusive, we put ourselves in compromising positions, we don’t stand up for ourselves and we associate with negative people who cross our non-existent boundaries.
But, no matter how it seems, the problem is not with anyone else. Since no one can ever abuse you worse than you are secretly abusing yourself, the ways in which others treat you are blatant indicators. Hence, to put an end to external abuse, you must stop doing to yourself what others are doing to you. Indeed, self abuse shows up in our relationships, but it also adversely impacts every area of our lives.
What’s so important about treating yourself well?
Is there anything that you would like to change in your life or attract to you – greater health, wealth, or love, for instance? Well, in order to be, do or have what you desire, you must believe that you are worthy of it.
The Universe is not determining your worthiness because to the Universe you are unconditionally worthy of all you desire. It is you who decides your worth, thereby determining what you get and don’t get, and, as a result, the Universe delivers according to your assessment. But, unfortunately, you cannot fool the Universe by saying that you deserve wealth, health, or love and then demonstrating unworthiness by the way you treat yourself.