5 Things That Annoy Narcissists

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things that annoy narcissists

Are you planning how to annoy a narcissist? This article discusses things that typically annoy narcissists or set them off.

The purpose of this article isn’t to find things to deliberately wind up narcissists. It’s to discuss things that annoy narcissists. So that once you understand how they think, you can avoid conflict and drama for yourself. What’s the point of deliberately winding someone up if you’re gonna be on the receiving end?

Many people have no option but to spend time with narcissists. They could be in your workplace, or in your family for example. Learning the things that annoy them helps you navigate their difficult personalities. And allows you to avoid things that set them off. But, if you deliberately want to annoy a narcissist, this article can be helpful for you.

Related: What Happens When You Argue With A Narcissist

How To Annoy A Narcissist: 5 Things To Know

Here are some things I’ve noticed that annoy most narcissists…

1. Telling Them What To Do

Although narcissists like bossing others around, they don’t like to be bossed around themselves. Narcissists see themselves as powerful and omnipotent. And they like to be in control of situations.

If you want them to do something, it’s best to ASK them in a way that doesn’t bruise their ego. For instance, if you want them to wear a mask in the workplace, saying “You have to wear a face mask in here” might be met with hostility. Because the narcissist will be thinking, “Who are you to tell me what to do? I don’t HAVE to do anything.”

It’s likely to go down much better if you ask, “Are you OK wearing a face mask in here? It helps protect you as well as others.”

In this example, you’re ASKING them to wear a face mask. Not telling them. And you’re giving them the respect of explaining why. And showing that you care for them too.

The narcissist feels much happier saying “Yes I don’t mind wearing a face mask” because they were asked, and THEY ultimately made the decision. Or at least they think they did.

things that annoy narcissists

Related: 7 Things You Can Say To Trigger a Narcissist’s Anger

2. Forgetting About Them

Most narcissists HATE being forgotten about. In their mind, it means they’re insignificant. And this contradicts their delusional belief that the whole universe revolves around them. This incongruence stirs up strong feelings because narcissists like to maintain their delusions.

If you arrange to phone them, meet them, etc., do it at the agreed time. If something goes wrong, let them know ahead of time. If you forget or are late, they may take this as a huge insult. Potentially leading to drama and conflict. Any promise you make, try your best to fulfill it.

Narcissists are often unreliable themselves. But they don’t see the hypocrisy in expecting more from you. When you know a narcissist, it’s YOU that has to be the bigger person.

If a narcissist tells you they like two sugars in their coffee, try to remember this for next time. Whilst forgetting may not offend them that much, they’ll be warmer if they notice you remember little things like that. It shows them they matter. And that means a lot to most narcissists.

3. Raining On Their Parade

If a narcissist considers themselves skilled or knowledgeable in a certain area, they may become competitive if you display knowledge or skills in this same area.

For instance, if they consider themselves good at art, then expect them to put down your “lame attempt” at art. Even if you’re as good as them, or better.

Narcissists seem to have 2 or 3 areas where they believe they’re the best. And become particularly angry and competitive if they feel challenged in any way. For instance, my ex considered herself a good singer. Any time I sang, she would put down my supposed awful singing. Even if I was just messing about.

A narcissist friend of mine would become angry and competitive if I ever talked about Buddhism. Because in her mind, she was the expert, not me. So I stopped talking about Buddhism around her. It just wasn’t worth it.

If you can recognize what they consider “their” area of expertise, you can learn to avoid it when around them. Whilst this isn’t ideal, it beats getting dragged into a competitive and heated argument.

4. Being Laughed At

Whilst the narcissist may be happy laughing at your misfortunes, they don’t see the funny side when the tables are turned.

If the narcissist trips up, then it’s usually best to ask if they’re OK. If they laugh at it themselves, then it may be OK for a little chuckle WITH them. But if not, try to keep it in.

Narcissists like to be seen as perfect. So they often have a humor bypass if the joke’s on them. The same thing they laughed about you yesterday, could make them blow up today if it happened to them.

If you are thinking about how to annoy a narcissist (deliberately), then laughing at them can be the best way to do so.

Related: The Narcissist’s Bubbling Fury

5. Not Accepting Gifts

Occasionally narcissists do thoughtful things, and they might buy you a gift. Narcissists are incredibly sensitive souls and hate being vulnerable. And in their mind, buying you a gift leaves them vulnerable.

Narcissists can become angry if you turn down a gift. For example, they buy you a t-shirt, and you say “No thanks, I don’t like that colour.”

To a narcissist, this is a slap in the face. They went out of their way for you, and you rudely rejected them. And this type of thing may anger them for days. “You think you’re better than me?”

In this scenario, it’s usually better to graciously accept the gift, even if you don’t wear it. Just pop it on occasionally when you know they’re going to be about!

Want to know more about the things that annoy narcissists? Check this video out below!

Things that annoy narcissists

Final Thoughts

When dealing with narcissists, you have to be the bigger person. They often have a different set of rules for themselves, as they have for others. Whilst they may laugh when you trip over, they don’t see the funny side when the shoe’s on the other foot.

Narcissists are incredibly sensitive. And harbour delusions of superiority they desperately cling to. Any challenge to their superiority is often met with hostility.

Narcissists are not easy to deal with. And to get on, you have to take into account their unique characteristics.

Narcissists are like big kids. You have to treat them gently and be careful not to offend them. Even though you’re unlikely to get the same respect in return.

If you deliberately want to annoy a narcissist and are sure you can manage the consequences then you may use the above five things to accomplish your mission.

Related: 22 Things The Injured Narcissist Says and What They Really Mean

Please visit Jon Rhodes at www.Narcissisms.com to learn more about narcissists and their behaviours.


Written By Jon Rhodes  
Originally Appeared On Narcissisms  
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