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5 Things That Annoy Narcissists

things that annoy narcissists

Are you planning how to annoy a narcissist? This article discusses things that typically annoy narcissists or set them off.

The purpose of this article isn’t to find things to deliberately wind up narcissists. It’s to discuss things that annoy narcissists. So that once you understand how they think, you can avoid conflict and drama for yourself. What’s the point of deliberately winding someone up if you’re gonna be on the receiving end?

Many people have no option but to spend time with narcissists. They could be in your workplace, or in your family for example. Learning the things that annoy them helps you navigate their difficult personalities. And allows you to avoid things that set them off. But, if you deliberately want to annoy a narcissist, this article can be helpful for you.

Related: What Happens When You Argue With A Narcissist

How To Annoy A Narcissist: 5 Things To Know

Here are some things I’ve noticed that annoy most narcissists…

1. Telling Them What To Do

Although narcissists like bossing others around, they don’t like to be bossed around themselves. Narcissists see themselves as powerful and omnipotent. And they like to be in control of situations.

If you want them to do something, it’s best to ASK them in a way that doesn’t bruise their ego. For instance, if you want them to wear a mask in the workplace, saying “You have to wear a face mask in here” might be met with hostility. Because the narcissist will be thinking, “Who are you to tell me what to do? I don’t HAVE to do anything.”

It’s likely to go down much better if you ask, “Are you OK wearing a face mask in here? It helps protect you as well as others.”

In this example, you’re ASKING them to wear a face mask. Not telling them. And you’re giving them the respect of explaining why. And showing that you care for them too.

The narcissist feels much happier saying “Yes I don’t mind wearing a face mask” because they were asked, and THEY ultimately made the decision. Or at least they think they did.

things that annoy narcissists
5 Things That Annoy Narcissists

Related: 7 Things You Can Say To Trigger a Narcissist’s Anger

2. Forgetting About Them

Most narcissists HATE being forgotten about. In their mind, it means they’re insignificant. And this contradicts their delusional belief that the whole universe revolves around them. This incongruence stirs up strong feelings because narcissists like to maintain their delusions.

If you arrange to phone them, meet them, etc., do it at the agreed time. If something goes wrong, let them know ahead of time. If you forget or are late, they may take this as a huge insult. Potentially leading to drama and conflict. Any promise you make, try your best to fulfill it.

Narcissists are often unreliable themselves. But they don’t see the hypocrisy in expecting more from you. When you know a narcissist, it’s YOU that has to be the bigger person.

If a narcissist tells you they like two sugars in their coffee, try to remember this for next time. Whilst forgetting may not offend them that much, they’ll be warmer if they notice you remember little things like that. It shows them they matter. And that means a lot to most narcissists.

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Jon Rhodes

I am a clinical hypnotherapist, mental health professional, and narcissisms blogger.View Author posts