Skip to content

What Happens When You Argue With A Narcissist

what happens when you argue with a narcissist

Understanding the mind of a narcissist is tough as their whole persona is a lie. Narcissistic people tend to participate in discussion in an unhealthy, argumentative manner and it gets really challenging to find out the real motive of their arguments. Learn from a narcissist about what really goes on the mind of a narcissist when you argue with narcissists.

What Is It Like To Argue With Narcissists?

Would you like to know what is going through my mind when we argue? Thought you would. I do enjoy an argument. I love to start a squabble, a contretemps, and escalate it to a quarrel through to an altercation, a fight! By now I am sure you have realized that the reason I argue is twofold.

Why Narcissists Argue?

First, I am provoking an emotional reaction from you which gives me fuel.

Secondly, argument enables me to put you in your place and control you by being abusive towards you. I keep it within the realms of stinging and barbed verbal abuse but there are those of my brethren who do like to let their fists do the talking. That is not my style but we cannot shy away from the truth of what is being done in the name of “a discussion”.

The mind of a narcissist
Argue With Narcissists

I know from experience and also from reading numerous comments and observations that you regard arguing with me akin to banging your head against a brick wall. You cannot understand the stance we adopt in an argument.

Surely we must recognize that what we are saying makes no sense? Do we not realize that our position lacks logic? I will endeavor to enlighten you.

Related: 8 Signs You Are Dealing With A Vulnerable Narcissist

I Recognize Two Types Of Argument.

1. The first is created by me.
2. The second is created by you. What they both have in common is you are at fault.

1. In the first type, I generate an argument out of nothing.

I argue for nothing. You find this disorienting and confusing. In fact, I will often do this after we have just done something delightful together (throwing you from a height is all the more delicious – see Get Ready To Drop).

I will invent some offense (why did you just look at that man across from us, when you did not) or I will seize on something utterly trivial (thanks for taking that last drop (and it was a drop) of the sauvignon blanc). I will level the accusation at you.

What happens when you argue with narcissists
Argue With Narcissists

You will at first be stunned because everything was going swimmingly. You will then be perplexed as my accusation is either untrue or so minor to be negligible. Why is he getting so het up over nothing? Indignance will then rise inside you as your inner self questions whether you are just going to sit and take this unjust accusation. I am shouting at you now and you either run away or fight back. It might go something like this.

Related: 9 Clever Mind Games Narcissists Play In Relationships

“Oh thanks for taking the last of the wine, I wanted that. I have hardly had any.”

“Sorry? There was only a drop left.”

“But you didn’t ask me if I wanted it did you?”

“I didn’t think to, there was just a dribble.”

“You didn’t think? That’s the trouble with you. You never think.”

“Oh come on, besides you’ve had plenty of wine anyway.”

“Are you saying I have a drinking problem?”

“Woah, where did that come from?”

“You. You are always doing this. You do something selfish and then turn it into an attack about me. Just because you cannot stand for someone to point out when you have done something wrong.”

“Good God, what are you talking about?”

“That’s it, try to dismiss me when I am making a valid point.”

“I only poured a drop of wine into my glass. It is no big deal. Here, if it troubles you so much, have what is left in my glass.”

“No, it’s too late. The damage is done. You are trying to make light of when I am pointing something out to you.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Oh I am ridiculous am I, well that’s rich coming from someone who drinks a bottle, at least once, a day.”

“Where do you get that from? No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. I am concerned about your drinking, have you ever considered getting some help?”

And on it goes.

Pages: 1 2

Tudor HG

I am HG Tudor. I am a narcissistic sociopath (some state psychopath – this remains a matter of debate by the profession concerning the current application of sociopath or psychopath). By my terminology, I am a Greater Elite Narcissist. You will learn here what that means along with all about the other types of narcissists and empaths too. I convey this is an effective manner based on my perspective. I know what I am and I know the best way to communicate this to you. I am a very effective communicator. I write extensively about what this means and what I am. I have practiced this dark art for many years, I have honed and crafted my abilities. I am aware of what I am and I am engaged in understanding why I am this way and why I act as I do. I am sharing these ongoing revelations.HG Tudor is the author of several books. View complete list of books hereView Author posts