NPD and anger management SHOULD go hand in hand but rarely do they. When narcissistic rage comes out, very often, narcissistic injury is quick to follow.
22 Things the Injured Narcissist Says And What They Really Mean
1. “You’re crazy. It’s all in your head. You need to see a psychologist.”
Translation: I need you to doubt yourself, your perception and your reality so that I can more effectively manipulate you and make you do what I want.
2. “I never said that; you heard wrong. You misunderstood me. That never happened.”
Translation: I will change your reality at any given moment, and you better go along with it, or you’re in big trouble.
3. “I don’t understand. What you are saying makes absolutely no sense. I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Translation: I am pretending that I don’t understand you so that I don’t have to respond to you in a logical fashion.
4. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry that’s how you feel.”
Translation: I’m pretending that I care or that I’m sorry by using words to invalidate you ever so subtly.”
5. “I can’t remember what happened.”
Translation: I am perfectly aware of what happened, but if I pretend to forget, I hope you’ll forget too.
6. “Stop attacking me. Why are you always attacking me?”
Translation: Stop holding me accountable for my actions. Why are you always holding me accountable for stuff I do?
7. “I didn’t hurt you; you hurt yourself. Well, maybe you deserved it.”
Translation: I so lack empathy for you that I literally believe that your effort to stand up for yourself (or whatever caused it) forced me to abuse you in some way. I think you deserved it because you didn’t do what I wanted you to do.
8. “I do not like talking about my past.”
Translation: I have carefully crafted the image I am showing you and/or the world right now, and if I talk about my past, this image will be proven false. I can’t keep up my false self if I talk about who I used to be.
9. “That’s in the past. 15 minutes ago IS the past! Why can’t we just forget the past?”
Translation: I don’t understand why you don’t just get over the fact that I am actively abusing you. It’s been 15 minutes since it last happened. How come you’re not all happy-go-lucky yet? Why do you always want me to be accountable for what I’ve done?
10. “Why do you keep talking about (whatever you’re interested in)? This is boring! Don’t you have anything else to say? Like, about something interesting? Like, ME?”
Translation: I don’t care about whatever you’re talking about and even if I did, I’m going to pretend you’re boring and stupid so that you feel invalidated. When is the conversation going to get back to being about ME?
11. “There is something wrong with the way you think. You are delusional.”
Translation: I do not like it when you call me out on my BS. You are too aware of this stuff – I need you to start doubting your judgment and fast!
12. “How dare you accuse me of lying! I’ve always told you the truth. I never lie.”
Translation: I have always told you whatever I wanted you to believe, regardless of whether or not it’s actually the truth. And if you question me on that, you’ll be in big trouble!
13. “I can’t help it that I’m like that. I just need someone to love me for me. Take it or leave it.”
Translation: I am aware that I’m a total douche. But I’m going to need you to overlook that obvious fact and go ahead and act like I’m the most amazing person you’ve EVER met. MMmmkay?