Your partner verbally and physically abuses you, but you can’t find the courage to leave him. Instead, you choose to stay in an abusive relationship.
He manipulates, controls, degrades and berates you. You suppress your hurt feelings. You even make excuses for his reprehensible, hurtful behavior.
He promises repeatedly to quit drinking, to get counseling for his anger issues, and to stop verbally and physically battering you. Instead, he blindsides you with a cutting remark or rages at you for no clear reason.
You know in your heart that your relationship is a lost cause, and yet you stay with a man who is slowly destroying you.
Girl, where is your sense of survival?
What relationship could possibly be worth the horrific conflict, mental mutilation, bruises, and busted lips from the hands of a punishing, irate boyfriend or husband?
Why does a woman stay with a man who mistreats her so badly?
We hear from many people who are in or were into abusive relationships, they say that they love their abusive partner and they wonder, “Why do I love someone who has hurt me so much?” It’s definitely a strange, confusing feeling.
If you’re struggling with feelings of love for an abusive partner, it could be for a number of reasons. Let’s dive into this article to understand what might be contributing to these feelings.
There are compelling reasons why women stay in an abusive relationship with an abusive partner:
- The abuse may occur over a short period of time, and she is able to shrug it off.
- He may tell her, “I’m sorry, it will never happen again,” and she believes him.
- She may have been abused as a child or witnessed her mother abused by her father, and she accepts it as normal behavior, consciously, or unconsciously.
- She may be financially dependent on him, or she may have a fear of living alone.
- She may fear her partner and may believe she has no power to change the situation.
- She may fear his suicide; he says he’ll kill himself if she leaves.
- She may have religious and cultural beliefs or a misguided sense of loyalty that keeps her tied to her relationship—or she stays for “the sake of the children.”
- She is in denial about the abuse. He is often loving and lovable which helps her excuse and minimize his episodes of cruelty or violence.
- The sex with him is intense and she is addicted to an erotic emotional attachment to him.
These reasons are to some extent understandable—but there must be a greater force that ties a woman’s soul to a man who unmercifully batters her.