Hidden Truths of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship, When Love Isn’t Love but abuse – Being in a narcissistic relationship can drain you emotionally and psychologically, leaving you mentally exhausted. The ongoing cycle of idealization, devaluation and discard, keeps one wondering if it’s really love?
Some people who do not understand the scope of narcissism, mistake it to be a simple flaw and choose to adjust along with it. The bad news is that narcissism is not just a simple flaw, it is a personality disorder.
You might think that a narcissist’s love for you is genuine, but the reality could not be farther from the truth. They will love you and treat you properly as long as it serves their interests. The moment your job is done, they will dismiss you. Selflessness is not something that narcissists associate with.
4 Hidden truths of an emotionally abusive relationship
1. Treating People As Objects And A Means To An End
Narcissists don’t enter into relationships with the same ideas about love, fairness, thoughts of sharing responsibility, suitability, equality, partnership, etc that normal people think about. Instead, narcissists are very opportunistic, myopic and selfish. As long as you can serve the interests of a narcissist, you will be kept in the picture, if you cannot, you out of it. It is that simple for a narcissist to dispose of people from their lives.
If you ever get into a narcissistic relationship, everything will be fine and perfect in the beginning. With time, you will slowly start to see the signs of control, manipulation, gaslighting and abuse. Initially, you might end up dismissing these signs as rough patches or bad days, but with passing time you will realize that the same things are happening over and over again. Narcissistic abuse will make you feel mentally unhappy and unsure of yourself all the time.
In a narcissistic relationship, the harsh truth is that you don’t matter, only the narcissist does. No matter how many times they apologize for causing you to hurt, they will always go back to their old ways. This is possible only when they see that their victim is constantly forgiving them, no matter what they do. What further bolsters their overconfidence is the fact that the victim never leaves and chooses to make things “work”. This is heavily exploited by narcissists who continue to use their partners to satisfy their malevolent wishes.
2. Narcissistic Abuse Does Not Believe In Compromise
Compromise is an essential part of a relationship, and at some point or the other everyone compromises in order to maintain a stable and happy relationship. However, when you are dealing with a narcissist throw the concept of compromise out the window, because they simply do not understand how that works. And even if they do, they couldn’t care less about it.
Narcissists do not believe in compromising because why should they? Compromising means they might have to sacrifice their wants or put it on the back burner and prioritize the other person’s needs. A situation like this is an absolute no-no for a narcissist.
When you’re a person who wants to share love, comfort, peace, and closeness with your partner but realizes that they are hell-bent on power and cannot compromise at all, it can take a toll on your relationship. Narcissistic abuse can be characterized by destroying opportunities for intimacy by bringing up old issues, power struggles and the negative things other people say about you. This leads to a heartbreaking realization that you’re in a relationship with someone who will likely NEVER be able to connect on the levels that we all desire in intimate relationships.
In no way does a narcissist believe in making the other person feel good, apart from the times when they need something from them. If a narcissist needs something from you, they will compliment you, make you feel special and make sure that you feel positive all the time with them. But as soon as their job is done, the feel-good factor is gone, the sweet demeanor is gone and so is the positivity.