23 Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality And How To Deal With It

Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality

5. Ask “What thought is creating this suffering?”

All suffering originates in beliefs that go unquestioned and unexamined in our minds. When we attach to these thoughts, we suffer. Remember that you don’t need to believe the thoughts in your head: thoughts are simply fluctuations of energy that we assign meaning to. Practicing meditation can help you notice how transient thoughts are.

23 Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality And How To Deal With It
23 Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality And How To Deal With It

6. Practice being thankful

Gratitude is a simple but powerful way to remind yourself that life is not as miserable as you perceive it to be. Each day, try to find ten things that you’re thankful for. You might like to keep a gratitude journal in which you write these ten things down, or simply name them mentally. Try to feel sincerely thankful for having these things.

Read 5 Reasons Playing the Victim After Your Breakup Will Hamper Your Healing

7. Affirm self-responsibility

Start to notice all the ways you bypass self-responsibility. Be ruthlessly honest and examine how gaining sympathy from others makes you feel special and continues the cycle of pointing the finger at others.

You might like to use an affirmation such as “I am responsible for my life” or “I am empowered to create change” to help you reprogram this unconscious need to play the victim. You might also like to do something that builds your confidence and actually shows you that you’re capable … or reflects on something in the past that you overcame successfully.

23 Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality And How To Deal With It

8. Perform an act of kindness for another

When we play the victim we tend to be solely focused on ourselves. Get yourself out of your head by doing something nice for another person you love. Realizing that you can feel good without manipulating another person is an important way to cut the addiction the self-victimization.

How to Deal With the Victim Complex in Other People

We’ve all met those people who are perpetually moping and complaining about their lives. These people seem to carry around the belief that the world is against them and appear to almost enjoy feeling miserable. In the field of psychology, these people are referred to as individuals who suffer from a victim complex; a type of neurosis that revolves around obtaining pity from other people.

Read Have You Been the Victim of Narcissistic Triangulation?

What is a Victim Complex?

The victim complex is a mindset that develops through life and is triggered mainly through childhood conditioning. People who suffer from the victim complex perpetually see themselves as the victims of other people or circumstances. This warped self-perception leads to the desire to gain affection and attention from other people while simultaneously avoiding self-responsibility and blame.

What is the Difference Between Victim Mentality and Victim Complex?

They both sound so similar … so what is the actual difference? While both can (and do) overlap, the victim mentality is more of a common issue. Most people struggle with a victim mentality at one point or another during life.

The victim complex, on the other hand, is an insidious and deeply rooted behavioral pattern that defines a person’s entire outlook on life. Unlike the victim mentality (which generally tends to be short-lived), the victim complex can define a person’s life for years, even an entire lifetime.

In other words, the victim complex is far more serious and pathological than the victim mentality.

14 Signs of the Victim Complex

People suffering from the victim complex will display a large percentage of the following symptoms:

  • They will constantly put themselves down
  • They will blame other people or situations for feeling miserable
  • They’ll refuse to analyze themselves in order to feel better about life
  • They have a “life is against me” philosophy
  • They feel powerless or helpless to change their circumstances
  • They think others are purposely trying to hurt them
  • They enjoy sharing their tragic stories with others
  • Even when things go well, they still find something to complain about
  • They believe that the world is a mostly bad and dangerous place
  • They get upset and reactive when given constructive criticism
  • They believe that everyone is “better off” than them
  • They tend to blame, attack, and accuse those they love for how they feel
  • They see their problems as catastrophes and blow them out of proportion
  • They don’t take responsibility for their happiness
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Mateo Sol

Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual teacher whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. As a spiritual guide and teacher, Sol’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life. See more of his work at Lonerwolf.comView Author posts