If you suspect that your narcissist is cheating on you, even though they might not admit to it themselves, you can look out for a few definitive signs that can prove your suspicions right.
Narcissists are experts at cheating and lying. That’s because they have more practice than most people. And they’re often skilled at looking someone straight in the eyes whilst spouting a pack of lies. But narcissists have one Achilles heel that gives their game away.
Narcissists usually overestimate how clever they are. And underestimate how clever others are. And this causes them to make mistakes. And leave clues as to what they’re up to.
Narcissists rarely hold their hands up and admit they’re cheating. Even in the face of overwhelming evidence. So unless you actually catch them in the act, it’s difficult to be 100% sure. And narcissists know this and play on it.
If you know the signs your narcissist is cheating, then you have a better chance of catching them. But even if you don’t catch them, you can at least see that things are not solely your fault. And hopefully, gain some insight into how you’re really being treated.
These signs don’t mean the narcissist is definitely cheating. And not all narcissists cheat. But even if they’re not cheating, most of these behaviors indicate a problem in your relationship.
Here are 7 signs to look out for if you suspect your narcissist is cheating…
7 Signs Your Narcissist Is Cheating
1. Project Their Cheating Onto You
If a narcissist suddenly accuses you of cheating for no apparent reason and does this regularly, then it could be a sign they’re having an affair. Narcissists are notorious for projecting their faults onto others.
Narcissists like to think that they’re perfect, and superior to everyone else. So it’s easier for their ego to handle their faults if they can blame someone else.
The narcissist reasons that if they accuse others of what they’re doing themselves, then they won’t notice what the narcissist is up to. The person is too busy defending themselves to think of an attack.
This habit can kick in when they’re having an affair. So if they accuse you of having an affair, listen closely. Because they might unwittingly give away some of the details.
For instance, if they accuse you of having an affair with someone at work, then it could be they’re having an affair at work. Or if they accuse you of seeing an ex, then it might be them that’s seeing an ex.
If you listen to what they specifically accuse you of, then you might get a clue about what they’re up to. And it can make a good place to start your investigations.
If a narcissist is having an affair, then they’re likely to disappear every now and then. The disappearances are obviously them seeing their affair.
The narcissist often has vague and sketchy reasons for their disappearances. For instance, I received a visit from an old friend at our house. My narcissist ex suggested we all go out for a few drinks. But in the first pub we visited, she stated she was nipping across the road to visit a friend in the restaurant she used to work at. And she never came back. No messages, no phone calls, nothing.
My friend and I continued our night out and returned back to my place. It wasn’t until 4 am that she rolled up. She claimed that another friend was at the restaurant, and he wanted to show her his new restaurant. So she and a few others went – until 4 am?!
Remember, narcissists often over-estimate their own intelligence. So they may have strange and illogical reasoning for their disappearances. And they fully expect you to be taken in by them.