I’ve always said that going No Contact with a narcissist is probably one of the toughest obstacles you will face when ending the toxic relationship. And sticking with it is the biggest step you will take to heal from narcissistic abuse.
By getting it right as soon as possible, you will avoid weeks, months, years, or even decades of a delayed or non-existent recovery. Many of us break No Contact – we go back again and again so these lessons are very important.
Today’s video will prepare you for this inevitable step and each of these six approaches will give you insight on how to move away from the toxic relationship so you can open yourself up to a new world of self and life that no longer resembles abuse, devastation, loss, and heartache.
Today I want to talk to you about the six best things that you can prepare to go No Contact with a narcissist. I promise you that when you try to go No Contact, you’ll find it is one of the toughest things you are ever going to go through with narcissistic abuse.
So many of us continually break No Contact, but the great news is that when you know how to do No Contact the Thriver way, as a boundary beast, you will get through this in the most direct and painless way.
Before I get started, I just want to quickly remind you that my 10-week healing intense Bootcamp called Thrive –where you can go from zero to hero, from absolute pain and powerless and struggle, no matter what you’ve been going through, to feeling emotionally free, renewed, and powerfully inspired to go forth into your True Self and your True Life – is coming up very soon. So check out the link that appears with this video or in the show notes.
Let’s check out the six ways to prepare for going No Contact, and really this is about being prepared for the moves that the narcissist may do.
6 Ways To Prepare When Going No Contact With A Narcissist
#1 – Self-Respect, Love And Truth
The foundation of going No Contact is accepting this truth: this person does not have the willingness or capacity to meet you at a level of kindness, care, truth, teamwork, and solution building.
You can’t change someone’s character. You can’t force them to be responsible and accountable and decent, no matter how hard you try. A person’s character is their character.
The only person you have control over is you. So rather than continuing to touch the stove that burns you, and taking the poison that is killing you, the only option is to pull away and save yourself.
Get really clear about this because people get very confused over going No Contact with a narcissist. No, you are not ghosting or doing silent treatment by doing No Contact. That’s something that abusers do to try to punish people.
Getting ready for, and then going No Contact, is an act of loving yourself. This is about your self-love, self-respect, and truth and it means that finally, by doing that and saying, “No more,” you’re going to have a chance to heal, recover, and then Thrive. With a narcissist, there’s no other choice other than to make that choice, and then after that all the things that you need to prepare for.
#2 – Being Blamed And Shamed
Narcissists don’t take responsibility, not honestly, and durably – it doesn’t hold. It’s too threatening to their fragile Inner Identity for them to admit, own or transform anything about their behavior.
Therefore they’re going to need to demonize you. They’re going to make out that it was their decision to end it and that you were the bad one. Narcissists can get really down and dirty and cruel with this.