$ 10 Rules Of No Contact With A Narcissist

10 Rules Of No Contact With A Narcissist

Rules No Contact With Narcissist 1

The best way to move on from a narcissistic relationship is by following the rules of No Contact and sticking to them no matter what.

In any reading you may do on ending a relationship with a narcissist, you will see No Contact recommended at every turn. Let me explain it a bit.ย 

No Contact means the obvious no calling or texting, driving by their home, or finding out about them through secondary sources. Itโ€™s also following these essential rules.

Here Are The 10 Rules Of No Contact With A Narcissist

1. Deleting and blocking them from your social media.

2. Deleting and blocking any friends you have in common.

3. Deleting and blocking them on your phone or even betterโ€ฆ

4. Getting a new phone number.

5. Getting rid of old texts.

6. Getting rid of gifts, mementos or any reminders of your relationship.

7. Telling friends and family you do not want to hear updates about the narcissist.

8. Writing down the hurtful things your narcissist did and keep that list handy when you are feeling vulnerable and feel the need to contact him.

9. Remembering that you are not the disordered one in this equation.

10. And, most importantly, no peeking or checking up on the narcissist. Ever.

Related: 5 Ways You Can Ignore A Narcissist Who Is Trying To Hurt You

Some of these suggestions are unrealistic when you are co-parenting or your lives have been so enmeshed that blocking friends is not possible. Totally get that. But for many of us, doing all of the above is very possible. Not only is it possible, but it is also the only way to survive to regain your life post narcissistic abuse.

Nothing good comes from checking in to see how your abuser is doing. If on the rare chance your abuser is single, you might idealize him, feel tenderness and lose your resolve. If they are with someone, you will come undone. And believe me when I tell you that they are with someone or trying to be with someone or the classic with someone and also trying to line up their next source of supply should their current someone not work out.

Rules Of No Contact

As a quick side note, it wonโ€™t work out. Please logically take that fact in and also let it sink deep down to your very core. He is not treating his new someone (or the one he is texting in the bathroom while his current someone is waiting patiently for him) better than he treated you. Itโ€™s not possible. The mask may stay on longer but he is the same disordered, sick man he was with you.

My point of trusting me on No Contact is this: Contact = Pain & Reliving Trauma. I have not peeked in eight months. Why? I do not want to look at his narcissistic face ONE MORE TIME. Ever. I live so happily forgetting what he looks like and having his features just erase from my mind. ย As if my relationship with him was all just a very bad dream.

Anyway, my No Contact record of eight months and counting is something I am very proud of and makes me feel strong. Seeing him smiling on a future-faking trip? Or with his children that I loved with my whole heart? Not at all helpful to me as I recover from the trauma of being with someone disordered in this way.

Related: Narcissists, No Contact and the Spaghetti Test

I would have thrived post-narcissistic abuse in the Pride and Prejudice era. With letter writing and brooding whilst looking out my window onto the lovely English countryside. The idea that when something was done, it was done. And that you had space and time to grieve and heal. Living in a time where you can check up on the narcissist via Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat anytime and anywhereย is tempting but counterproductive to the healing process.

The bottom line to No Contact is caring enough about yourself to heal fully from the trauma created intentionally by the narcissist. You deserve that. Quite honestly, heโ€™d love knowing you were looking for him. I urge you to not give him that hit of narcissistic supply. Okay, true, he wonโ€™t know that you arenโ€™t peeking. But YOU know that you arenโ€™t. Thatโ€™s what is important.

Yes, Virginia, there are monsters in this world. Sadly, they look an awful lot like that charming man who sold you a beautiful dream and left you with a nightmare. Stay strong; stay No Contact. Itโ€™s a gift that will allow you to regain control of your life. That girl you once were? ย Sheโ€™s still inside of you and she is going to do amazing things. She will feel strong again.ย And you will absolutely love it again. I donโ€™t always know much, but I promise you that.


To read more such blogs, follow Jenniferย here onย Yellow November

10 Rules Of No Contact With A Narcissist
Rules No Contact With Narcissist Pin

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

7 Covert Put Downs for Narcissists: How They Subtly Tear You Down

Covert Put Downs for Narcissists: Sneaky, Silent Insults

Narcissists have a sneaky way of making you feel small without ever saying anything outright mean. These subtle jabs, also known as covert put downs for narcissists, are their go-to move for keeping control and making themselves feel superior.

Ever had someone say something that felt off, but you couldn’t quite figure out why it stung? Thatโ€™s probably a covert put down.

In this piece, we’re breaking down five types of these sneaky little insults narcissists love to use, so you can spot them and not fall for their mind games next time!

Related: 7 Things Covert Narcissists Say To Control

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Letโ€™s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream โ€˜Stay Away!โ€™

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These arenโ€™t just common personality flaws โ€“ these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. Weโ€™ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

What Is Child Abuse? Recognizing The Warning Signs

Understanding and Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect2 1

Child abuse and neglect is a very sensitive subject that needs to be handled with care.

One canโ€™t really associate a state like this with just bruises. There is emotional, as well as physical exploitation. Also, for a little kid to heal or recover from it, the earlier one spots the signs of it, the better it is.

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults 1

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or itโ€™s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, weโ€™re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults โ€“ those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

How Dangerous Are Adult Temper Tantrums 1

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

KEY POINTS

Adult temp

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood Important Clues 1

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. Itโ€™s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Maybe it was the feeling that somethingโ€™s missing from your childhood, but you cou