Why love is not for Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths?
Terms such as narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths have become quite common these days, with every person knowing at least one person who belongs to these categories. Knowing people like these can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, so imagine the plight of those people who share a significant relationship with them.
If you are in love with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath, then it can be an incredibly overwhelming and negative experience for you. Since they are always lost in their own worlds and they only think about their needs, desires, and wishes, it can be a very depressing situation for their victims.
Can narcissistic people with any variation of Anti-Social Personality Disorder like Narcissism, Sociopathic tendencies, or Psychopathic tendencies love other people? The short version of the answer is sort of — but not really.
Cluster B personality types perceive the world in a very different way than most people. They are capable of mirroring whatever quality you want them to have, meaning they are wonderful fakers. So, being in love with a narcissist can be one of the toughest things you can experience.
If he or she has an NPD or ASPD, the range of emotion is limited biologically to the point that there is little to no capacity for empathy. As such, while he can learn to imitate love and can love bombs or hoover as a skill, emotionally they never experience what we think of as love i.e., caring about another people’s best interest or well being.
Why Does A Narcissist Behave The Way They Behave?
Egocentrism functionally limits their capacity to think or feel their way through things. They observe and mimic to manipulate and con, but their competitive nature causes them to miss the point entirely, of the whole spectrum of human social activity.
Since grandiosity, a ruthless need to win at any cost, and just plain abject moral stupidity hinder all narcissistic people’s ability to make decisions, they are both functionally unable to change and likely will never see the need to do it. Doomed to pull the short straw in every social interaction, these jokers play the role of boorish assclowns on most occasions.
Egocentrism makes them competitive rather than collaborative. As such, every social interaction they have has a winner, (and by default a loser) rather than being two people in love acting in ways that are mutually supportive. Being in love with a narcissist will always take more from you than give you back.
The short answer is NO — not for lack of their ability to try but because them succeeding is essentially a biological impossibility. You would do better to expect a grown adult to be a foot taller by next week.
A growth spurt in height at the age of 45 would be more likely than to have a narcissist suddenly wake up and start acting like a somewhat decent or moral person. Expecting them to have principles and a moral code of conduct is equivalent to the possibility of the sun rising in the South.
If a person has NPD or ASPD the right way to deal with them is to accept them for who they are while setting healthy boundaries to avoid them from imposing their manipulative and psycho-socially dominating antics. If they can control their temper in front of a policeman or judge, they can control their temper in ANY domestic or personal situation.
How Do You Understand That You Have Fallen In Love With A Narcissist?
You cannot always control who you fall in love with. Similarly, you might not even understand that you have fallen in love with a narcissist. Love is not something that makes the same sense to them. To that end, people with Cluster B feel no loyalty but do show preference. You might be in love with a narcissist, but they might not be actually in love with you. Maybe you are just another option to them.