Can narcissistic people with any variation of Anti-Social Personality Disorder like Narcopaths, Sociopaths, or Psychopaths love other people? The short version of the answer is sort of — but not really.
Cluster B personality types perceive the world in a very different way than most people. They are capable of mirroring whatever quality you want them to have, meaning they are wonderful fakers.
If he or she has a NPD or ASPD, the range of emotion is limited biologically to the point there is little to no capacity for empathy. As such, while he can learn to imitate love and can love bomb or hoover as a skill, emotionally they never experience what we think of as love — meaning caring about another people’s best interest or well being.
Egocentrism functionally limits their capacity to think or feel their way through things. They observe and mimic to manipulate and con, but their competitive nature causes them to miss the point entirely of human social activity.
Since grandiosity, a ruthless need to win at any cost, and just plain abject moral stupidity hinder all narcissistic people’s ability to make decisions, they are both functionally unable to change and likely will never see the need to do it. Doomed to pull the short straw in every social interaction, these jokers play the role of boorish assclown on most occasions.
Egocentrism makes them competitive rather than collaborative. As such, every social interaction they have has a winner (and by default a loser) rather than being two people in love acting in ways that are mutually supportive.
The short answer is NO — not for lack of their ability to try but because them succeeding is essentially a biological impossibility. You would do better to expect a grown adult to be a foot taller by next week.
A growth spurt in height at the age of 45 would be more likely than him or her than to have them suddenly wake up and start acting like a somewhat decent or moral person.
If a person has NPD or ASPD the right way to deal with them is to accept them for who they are while setting healthy boundaries to avoid them enacting their manipulative and psycho-socially menacing antics. If they can control their temper in front of a policeman or judge, they can control their temper in ANY domestic or personal situation.
But here’s the thing…
Love is not something that makes the same sense to them. To that end, people with Cluster B feel no loyalty but do show preference.
They have what is known as “preferred targets” and “Narcissistic Supply Sources”. Look both terms up — you made the list and know it (calling yourself his “fallback girl”). Men who have those typically keep somewhere between 5 and 30 plates in the air juggling at all times.
Don’t believe us yet? Still thinking your love affair with a Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath is unique?
Still thinking skeptically remember back to all the times you laughed and laid in bed daydreaming about life and the future with your partner? Trust the experts. When it comes to love, Cluster B people treat romance more like spinning plates.
Seriously. Each additional Narcissistic Supply Source is like another plate in the air they keep stringing along. If the plate wobbles or slows its spin, the predator shows up to give a little gaslighting hoovering push again.
Once victims stop feeling pride in supporting abuse of themselves, their child, and others, Narcissistic Abuse recovery can start to happen. By noting that you are actually willingly being used as an “Enabler” (and that actively participating in #Triangulation with him and the mistress is stupid and foolish to do) that you can actually start to make different and better life decisions about how to choose to act or react, learning to observe reflectively before you do.
By noting when and if a victim is willingly being used as an “Enabler”, they can own up to taking responsibility for their own choice to remain with an Abuser. For instance, a spouse who actively plays a competitive role between a spouse and a prospective lover or mistress ends up anchoring a third of a psychological phenomenon called Triangulation. you can start to make different and better decisions.
Once it becomes clear you are being played, it’s easier to depersonalize abuse from a cheating spouse. Learning how to set healthy boundaries with regard to whether or not to even consider actively engaging in conversation with people who would lie, disrespect, have a wandering eye, or cheat, evaluating life each day from a situational ethics standpoint becomes key. you can start to make different and better decisions.
Under the influence of an effective gaslighting pro, one might be tricked into believing abuse is “not that bad” or that a victim is “over-reacting.” Knowing about Cluster B patterns and the personality type of egocentric, pathological liars allows a victim to start to make different and better decisions.
Truly, education is the first step in making the change in mindset from Narcissistic Abuse victim struggling in survival mode to actual SURVIVOR. A few key phrases to look up and reflect upon (related to the issue of Narcissistic Abuse) are as follows: