The Narcissist-Empath Paradox: Understanding The Ego Dynamic Between Narcissists And Empaths

 / 

, ,
Narcissists And Empaths: Understanding The Ego Dynamics

The ego dynamic between narcissists and empaths is something that you should know if are in a relationship with a narcissist or have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist. There’s a difference between the ego of a narcissist and that of an empath. Let’s find out more about it, shall we?

Thereโ€™s a lot of buzz in the mediaย these daysย about Narcissists and Empaths/Highly Sensitives attracting to one another.ย One popular theory is that Narcissists prey on Empaths and Sensitives because of their overly giving nature.ย 

While that is primarily true, there is another reason that goes even deeper, and it has to do with ego.

Related: Narcissist And Empath Attraction: What Is The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And Narcissist?

Narcissists

First, letโ€™s consider the definition of egotistical as it relates to Narcissists in general:

adjective

  1. Excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.
  2. Arrogance, selfishness, greed, a sense of entitlement to whatever one wants.

Too much ego can lead to serious problems with treating people as means to ends: such people (i.e., Narcissists) feel entitled to do whatever it takes to get what he/she wants. This leads to abuses of ends/means reasoning (using other people to fulfill the egoโ€™s wants).

Itโ€™s no surprise that the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DSM-IV) state that people with the disorder:

  1. have a grandiose sense of self-importance.
  2. have a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
  3. are interpersonally exploitative, i.e., taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.

Empaths

Empaths do possess an ego to some degree but donโ€™t operate solely from ego as Narcissists do. For an Empath, the ego is experienced primarily in judging others and feelings of anger/resentment. These ego-driven emotions are usually incited in the Empath/HSP after witnessing acts of cruelty and hatred, interactions that they consider unfair or one-sided, and similar incidents.

Empaths operate predominately from love, humility, and giving. They have a natural capacity for healing and teaching others. However, until they learn how to responsibly use those gifts, they are often taken advantage ofโ€ฆnot only by romantic partners but by people in general.

Many Empaths donโ€™t realize what they are and go through life feeling used and unfulfilled. The Empath persona encompasses several personality types and traits and can include:

  • INFJ
  • ENFJ
  • Melancholic
  • Introvert
  • Intuitive

(**These are the main types, and listed simply as a matter of reference)

Related: The Empath And The Wounded Narcissist: Toxic Dynamics Explained

The Magnetic Attraction

Empathโ€™s sole purpose is to facilitate healing in others. Unfortunately, they usually ignore their own needs in doing so. They have the propensity to feel whatโ€™s going on outside of them more so than whatโ€™s inside. 

In general, an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive, and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates distress in an Empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a conflict, they will strive to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it altogether.

Because of these natural tendencies, the unaware Empath often finds themselves staying in a relationship with a toxic personality for too long.ย 

Further, Empaths often have a track record of developing codependent behaviors in childhood to deal with the overwhelm of unfairness in the world and to please others, which they usually carry into their adult relationshipsโ€ฆuntil a soul crisis happens where they are forced into awakening.

Ego dynamics between narcissists and empaths
Ego dynamics: Relationship between a narcissist and empath

Empaths operate from their authentic self, even if they arenโ€™t aware they are an Empath. Essentially, they associate with the life force, healing, and the urge to create what was not there before, such as when they try to โ€œfixโ€ people or situations, or help others heal and awaken.

Narcissists, on the other hand, donโ€™t have an authentic self. If they had one as a child, it was stifled by ego as a defense mechanism. Their ego demands attention to its hurts, traumas, and concerns in a way that insists upon separation and control. 

This prevents their ability to bond with other people and explains why their whole concept of reality consists of fulfilling the demands of their ego. Therefore, they use people without concern for the pain and trauma they cause them.

When the Narcissists and Empaths enter into a relationship together, it creates a magnetic, yet vibrationally dysfunctional union because the Empath gives to the point of complete and utter exhaustion. They will give every last effort to โ€œfixโ€ the Narcissist and the relationship, but it never happens. 

The Narcissist cannot assess anotherโ€™s perspective because their ego wonโ€™t allow that, thus there is no motive for the Narcissist to change.  In fact, attempts to โ€œhelpโ€ the Narcissist and draw attention to their dysfunctional behaviors often make the Narcissist worse because it contradicts the cravings of their ego.

Related: The Science Behind The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

It also profoundly disorients the Empath, who is often destroyed by the relationship.  However, itโ€™s at this point that the unaware Empath experiences a soul crisis and comes to realize what they are. 

Though the experience with the Narcissist is painful and overwhelming, the Empath usually learns their soul lessons and undergoes an awakening, whereas the Narcissist remains the same.

Want to know more about the ego dynamics between narcissists and empaths? Check this video out below!

Why do narcissists prey on empaths

Resources:

Broederlow, C. (2013, October 24). 30 traits of an Empath (How to know if youโ€™re an Empath). Retrieved April 1, 2014, fromhttp://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

Happe, M. (2011, August 12). The Relationship between Narcissism and Codependency. Retrieved April 3, 2014, fromhttps://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/the-relationship-between-narcissism-and-codependency/

Lemieux, M. (2013, November 1). Spiritual Warrior Journals (Blog): 50 Traits of being an Empath (Vulnerabilities) โ€“ Part II:. Retrieved April 7, 2014, from http://myspiritualjournals.blogspot.com/2013/11/50-traits-of-being-empath-part-II.html

Are You a Magnet for Narcissists? (2013, July 20). Retrieved April 10, 2014, from https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/are-you-a-magnet-for-narcissists/

Written by Kim Saeed
This article was originally published on her website Let Me Reach
Follow her website, for some more helpful reads.
Ego dynamics between narcissists and empaths
Narcissists and empaths: Narcissists and empaths the ego dynamic
Ego dynamics between narcissists and empaths Pin
The ego dynamic narcissists and empaths: Toxic relationship between narcissists and empaths
narcissists and empaths the ego dynamic
the ego dynamic narcissists and empaths

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

The โ€œFalse Selfโ€ Of A Narcissist: Look Beyond The Facade!

Hidden Narcissist False Self: Make Believe Traits in Them

The narcissist false self is charming and confident, masking underlying insecurities and emptiness beneath. Let’s find out other secrets they hide!

Narcissists have a false self. Theyโ€™re master illusionists. They behave like a little king or queenโ€Šโ€”โ€Šwhether bragging or sulking. Their whole personality is a charade crafted to deceive you into believing they are confident, superior, self-sufficient, likable, and caring.

In studies, groups of people met with and liked a narcissist, but after 6 more interviews, they discerned the narcissistโ€™s true nature and changed thei



Up Next

When To Leave An Alcoholic Partner? 6 Signs It’s Time For You To Escape

When To Leave An Alcoholic Partner? Warning Signs

Love can be a powerful force that binds two souls together, but there are moments when you must summon the courage to let go. If you’ve found yourself in a relationship with an alcoholic partner, you understand the rollercoaster of emotions and uncertainties that come with it. So, when to leave an alcoholic partner?

It’s not an easy decision to make, but sometimes leaving becomes a necessary step towards healing and finding your own happiness. In this article, we’ll explore seven tell-tale signs that indicate it may be time for you to break free from living with an alcoholic.

So, grab a seat, take a deep brea



Up Next

8 Essential Steps When Dealing With An Angry Partner

How To Deal With An Angry Partner? Important Steps

Wondering how to deal with an angry partner? It can be challenging and emotionally taxing, sparked by disagreements and stress. So, in this guide, we’ll explore constructive ways to help you navigate and defuse tense situations in your relationship.

Being with them is like having to walk on eggshells. One wrong step and BOOM! You’ll be dealing with a mess of emotions that you really don’t want to clean up.

It could be sudden outbursts or just that nasty air they always carry, but it definitely strains the relationship and sucks for everyone involved.

But there is hope. Understanding how to deal with a spouse with anger issues and empathizing goes a long way in trying to resolve these issues.

We have to realize that there’s som



Up Next

7 Signs Someone Is Projecting Onto You: Are You Bearing Someone Else’s Burden?

Signs Someone Is Projecting Their Emotional Baggage On You

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and it felt like they were accusing you of things that didn’t seem like you? It’s as if they’re dumping their own issues on you, leaving you scratching your head, wondering what is happening. Well, this is just one of the many signs someone is projecting their emotional baggage on you.

You’re gradually realizing that you are being blamed for things that’re not your fault at all. You are being accused to be the kind of person you are not. It’s as though they’re running their private movie theater, and you’ve become their projection screen.

But before we get int



Up Next

Toxic Love Books: 7 Books That Can Help You Break Free From Toxic Relationships

Toxic Love Books: Best Books On Toxic Relationships

Are you caught in a bad romance that’s sucking you dry? Are you trapped in a relationship with someone who is anything but kind? Well, you are not alone, my friend. We all have been in toxic relationships at some point or the other, and breaking free from them can be challenging, to say the least. If you’re struggling to leave a relationship like this, then maybe these toxic love books can help you in some way.

These seven amazing books on toxic relationships, will give you strength, help you stay on the right path, and constantly remind you that you deserve better, so much better.

Let’s jump in and check out



Up Next

Toxic Friend Alert: 10 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship

Shocking Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship

Do you feel exhausted and drained after spending time with a certain friend? Do you feel like setting some strict boundaries around this โ€œfriendโ€? Then it is likely that you are dealing with an emotionally draining friend. Letโ€™s explore the signs of an emotionally draining friendship and how to set boundaries to protect yourself.

Who Are Emotionally Draining Friends?

Emotionally draining friends are individuals who consistently demand excessive emotional support, monopolize conversations with their own issues, an



Up Next

7 Must-Watch Movies About Toxic Relationships And Dysfunctional Romance

Best Movies About Toxic Relationships And Love

As much as some people love a good romcom with a saccharine ending, there’s no denying that we also get enticed when on watching movies about toxic relationships and bizarre ways of falling in love.

From unhealthy attachments to bizarre courtships, toxic love knows no bounds in movies and will always draw in viewers even if it makes them cringe.

Thereโ€™s something about watching fictional couples self-destruct in toxic romance movies thatโ€™s thrilling and sometimes even comforting to audiences โ€” a reminder that love isnโ€™t always pretty or successful.