in

NARCISSISTS AND EMPATHS: THE EGO DYNAMIC

NARCISSISTS AND EMPATHS THE EGO DYNAMIC2

There’s a lot of buzz in the media these days about Empaths/Highly Sensitives and Narcissists attracting to one another.  One popular theory is that Narcissists prey on Empaths and Sensitives because of their overly giving nature.  While that is primarily true, there is another reason that goes even deeper, and it has to do with ego.

Narcissists

First, let’s consider the definition of egotistical as it relates to Narcissists in general:

adjective

  1. Excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.
  2. Arrogance, selfishness, greed, a sense of entitlement to whatever one wants.

Too much ego can lead to serious problems with treating people as means to ends: such people (i.e., Narcissists) feel entitled to do whatever it takes to get what he/she wants. This leads to abuses of ends/means reasoning (using other people to fulfill ego’s wants).

It’s no surprise that the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DSM-IV) states that people with the disorder:

  1. have a grandiose sense of self-importance
  2. have a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
  3. are interpersonally exploitative, i.e., taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Empaths

Empaths do possess an ego to some degree, but don’t operate solelyfrom ego as Narcissists do.  For an Empath, ego is experienced primarily in judging others and feelings of anger/resentment.  These ego-driven emotions are usually incited in the Empath/HSP after witnessing acts of cruelty and hatred, interactions which they consider unfair or one-sided, and similar incidents.

Empaths operate predominately from love, humility, and giving.  They have a natural capacity for healing and teaching others.  However, until they learn how to responsibly use those gifts, they are often taken advantage of…not only by romantic partners, but people in general.

Many Empaths don’t realize what they are, and go through life feeling used and unfulfilled.  The Empath persona encompasses several personality types and traits and can include:

  • INFJ
  • ENFJ
  • Melancholic
  • Introvert
  • Intuitive

(**These are the main types, and listed simply as a matter of reference)

The Magnetic Attraction

The Empath’s soul purpose is to facilitate healing in others.  Unfortunately, they usually ignore their own needs in doing so.  They have a propensity to feel what’s going on outside of them more so than what’s inside.  In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates distress in an Empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a conflict, they will strive to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. Because of these natural tendencies, the unaware Empath often finds themselves staying in a relationship with a toxic personality for too long.  Further, Empaths often have a track record of developing codependent behaviors in childhood to deal with the overwhelm of unfairness in the world and to please others, which they usually carry into their adult relationships…until a soul crises happens where they are forced into awakening.

What do you think?

2023 points
Upvote Downvote

Written by Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed is a recognized relationship expert specializing in narcissism, toxic love, and holistic recovery. Her articles, books, interviews, and guest appearances assist victims, survivors, and thrivers world-wide. She has influenced people from all over the globe by helping them leave their unhealthy relationships, overcome their limiting beliefs, and by empowering them to rise above their destructive patterns.Kim released her first book in March 2015, and it quickly rose to best-seller status. How to Do No Contact like a Boss! explains the reasons for going No Contact and takes the reader from the initial planning stages, exit strategies, the moment of No Contact, what to expect in the days that follow, and how to deal with a persistent and/or abusive ex who refuses to respect one's request for No Contact. Kim holds a Bachelor of Arts in Education and has a multidisciplinary background including expertise in teaching, banking, organizational development, HR training, research, and database management. An interesting fact about Kim is that she started her student teaching in Egypt during the first political uprising there in 2011. You can find Kim at www.letmereach.com.

3 Comments

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

She threw away all her masks

She threw away all her masks

Life isn't about finding yourself

Life isn’t about finding yourself