Are You Married To A Narcissist? Here’s What You Need To Know


, ,
Are You Married To A Narcissist Need To Know

Are you married to a narcissist? No matter what you do, they always find a way to hurt you and belittle you. Here’s all you need to know about Narcissism in marriage.

“When we meet and fall into the gravitational pull of a narcissist, we are entering a significant life lesson that involves learning how to create boundaries, self-respect, and resilience. Through trial and error (and a lot of pain), our connection with narcissists teaches us the necessary lessons we need to become mature empaths.” ― Mateo Sol

Any relationship is challenging. We grow in relationships and things change with time; so do we. But a relationship with a narcissist is perhaps the toughest one to maintain, especially when it’s marriage.

The narcissist spouse is always self-absorbed in themselves, indifferent towards your needs, can ignore you as if you don’t exist at all and insensitive to your emotions.

They would even become abusive, both verbally and physically, and never apologize for that. Such a relationship will leave you getting hurt, lose your self-worth, and might turn destructive.

Negotiating with a narcissist individual is literally impossible because the narcissist would never want to be responsible for their behaviors and adjust with their spouse.

Long Term Effects Of Being Married To A Narcissist

Either you finally break away from the marriage which leaves you devastated, losing faith in yourself and on others too.

The other option you can think of is adjusting but you should remember that your narcissist spouse will never change and this is going to be difficult than you imagine. It will cost you your emotions.

So, you must learn the correct strategies which will guide you because unless you follow them, you will end up getting drained yourself. It will be more painful to live together than to break away.

Narcissism is a personality disorder. So, don’t expect your spouse to change for you even after seeing you suffering. While it’s true that narcissists are extremely difficult to handle, just don’t start hating them even if you have a million reasons to do so. What you should do is change your attitude towards them.

Related: 13 Signs You Are Sleeping With a Narcissist

One must remember that a narcissist person is not a sadist no matter how similar they are in inflicting pain upon their loved ones. Both of them will hurt you but their reactions are different.

While hurting you, a narcissist person will not understand that you are in pain but a sadist person will definitely understand your pain and will seek pleasure from your suffering.

It’s easy to fall in love with a narcissist. They will make you the king or queen of their worlds. They will worship you and pour so much of love that you are bound to reciprocate.

After marriage, your narcissist spouse will reveal their true colors. All the flowers, chocolates, and sweet nothings of courtship are gone. It’s all insults, abuse, harsh criticisms, and ignorance for you.

This makes you feel you are losing your self-esteem, you are being used and you don’t value yourself. You try to give more to please your significant other but you find yourself drained. Now, it’s time for you to take the call. It’s either you stay or you quit.

Before taking any decision, you must understand whether the problem you are having with your spouse is because of narcissism or not.

7 Signs You’re Married To A Narcissism

Here are the ways to identify narcissism in your spouse:

1. They lack empathy. It’s not possible for them to understand others’ problems.

2. They are extremely egoistic and proud of themselves.

3. They will expect their loved ones to do everything for their benefit but they will not reciprocate in return.

4. They are always seeking admiration from others.

5. They are jealous of others who are flourishing well.

6. Lying comes natural to them.

7. They are violent, often verbally, and physically. They abuse their spouses and don’t even feel sorry for their actions.

Related: Inside the Mind of a Narcissist: How A Narcissist Thinks

If your spouse displays at least some of these characteristics, then it’s definitely narcissistic.

When you are married to a narcissist, an imbalance is created in your family life.

How To Be Married To A Narcissist?

Since you choose not to leave your significant other, here are the things you can do:

1. Fuel up their ego. Cajole with all the sugar-coated words to make them do things. Once their ego is well-fed, they will do what you want them to.

2. Always bring up the positive sides of your partner. Praise them for some good deed they have done. This will make them do these again.

3. Don’t ignore their complaints. Always listen no matter how repetitive they are. Just make them understand that you do understand their pain.

4. Always make them feel important. No matter how much you do something independently, just tell them how they are important to you and how their presence or pieces of advice have helped you.

5. Be romantic always. Bring a fun, adventure, and romance to the relationship and keep your narcissist partner engaged.

Related: 3 Mind Games All Narcissistic Men Play In Relationships

While doing all these, just be sure that you don’t lose your individual identity. So, here are a few things you need to do for yourself too:

1. Create a support system in your family and friend circle so that you can always fall back on them when you need someone to heart out your pain.

2. Don’t close all the doors no matter how difficult it seems to be. Always remain connected to the outside world.

3. Always maintain your self-esteem. One of the common harm a narcissist inflicts upon their partner is making them lose their self-worth. Don’t fall into the trap.

No matter what your spouse says or does, remember that you are loved too, that you are an individual and you need to be valued. Talk to your support system.

4. No matter what happens, don’t give yourself up completely to your narcissist spouse. Giving up to your better-half is not love. Maintain your boundaries so that your narcissist spouse will not get the chance to take advantage.

5. Always keep a track of the abuses. Just remember that no form of abuse is good. If the abuses are increasing day by day, you need to rethink.

Related: 4 Hidden Truths of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Excessive possessiveness, isolating you from your family and friends, harsh criticism, extremely dominating nature, verbal and physical abuse is something which you must not tolerate at any length.

If you have a narcissist spouse, take care and hang in there. No matter what, just remember that you are loved and you deserve to be happy too.

If you want to know more about what you can do if you are married to a narcissist, then check this video out below:

Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist

Married to a Narcissist
Narcissism In Marriage: 7 Signs You’re Married To A Narcissistic Spouse
Married to Narcissist Pin
Narcissism In Marriage: How Being Married To A Narcissist Affects You
Are You Married To A Narcissist Need To Know pin

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Jerry Avatar

    All these signs were in my marriage. My soon to x wife had me totally under her spell. I see now all the signs were there but I had no idea what was going on. She had me convinced I was the cause of everything. One time in particular is she whipped me w a belt and left bruises all over my back and stomach. Now I known she was diagnosed w bi polar and just figured that was the cause. When she thru me out of the house she left me w nothing . Took bank card cancelled credit card payments shut my phone off and would not let take the van. She destroyed my heart to no repair. They don’t be mad. All I am now is mad. The day she hit me w the belt she posted on fb she was engaged to someone. Funny same day huh. She has many fb accounts and won’t trouble you what she does on them.. idk I been told by others . For now I am radio silent and want nothing to do w her. She once had me completely forever. Heart still broken but moving forward and it is hard. For so long I would make up excuses for her so we could get back together. But after all the research I been doing on narcissist there is no hope for that
    Thank you for you time

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

What Is A Devouring Mother? Overcoming A Narcissistic Mother’s Toxic Grip

What Is A Devouring Mother? Ways To Overcome Toxicity

Do you feel overwhelmed, smothered, or suffocated by all the love and attention your mother gives you? Perhaps you know people who feel trapped in situations where their mother’s love becomes an all-encompassing affair? This phenomenon is referred to as “The Devouring Mother Archetype.” Let’s explore what is a devouring mother and how to deal with the devouring mother archetype.

What is a Devouring Mother?

The Freudian devouring mother describes a controlling, overbearing motherly figure hampering a child’s development and independence. It is marked by possessiveness and narcissism.

As the term is not a literal description, a devouring Mother does not mean a mother who consumes her children ph

Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect façade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal

Up Next

The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing: 7 Subtle Signs Of An Altruistic Narcissist

Signs Of An Altruistic Narcissist: Beneath the Kindness

Have you ever met someone who seems super helpful and sweet, but it just doesn’t seem genuine? Well, you might be looking at an altruistic narcissist, and this is one of the many signs of an altruistic narcissist.

You might be confused because when we think of narcissists, we usually think of them as selfish and uncaring. But there is another type of narcissist who does good deeds for a different reason – they want attention and praise and adulation.

So, without any further delay, let’s get down to knowing more about the altruistic narcissist and their signs. Let’s start with understanding what is an alt

Up Next

The Playbook Of Deceit: 11 Narcissistic Games Used To Torment You

Narcissistic Games Used To Torment: Playbook Of Deceit

Have you ever encountered someone that made you question your own sanity? Or found yourself caught in a web of manipulation, unsure of how you got there? If so, then you may have encountered a narcissist and have been a victim of narcissistic games.

Narcissists are masters at psychological games. A charming smile hides their darker agenda as they play several mind games to control and exploit you. These mind games narcissists play can be psychologically damaging, without you even realizing it at times.

In this article, we’ll unravel 11 narcissistic games, exposing all their tactics, so that you don’t fall

Up Next

Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers: Understanding Their Struggles

Having a narcissistic mother is, safe to say, one of the most traumatic things to go through. Sons of narcissistic mothers look at the world and relationships in an entirely skewed way, and this is due to the lessons they have learned growing up with a narcissistic mother.


The worldview of a young man whose mother has narcissistic personality disorder becomes skewed.

NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, among other traits.

Once one have been gaslit, they may always suspect the people they are close with may be ho

Up Next

12 Gripping Movies About Narcissistic Mothers That Depict Moms From Hell

Movies About Narcissistic Mothers That Tell A Toxic Tale

We’ve seen so many movies about narcissistic mothers who are way too obsessed about themselves. And weirdly enough, we can’t get enough of them.

But watching these storylines play out is definitely not easy. Whether you have a great relationship with your mom or not, it’s hard to watch someone deal with a narcissistic parent. Because it just seems like it really takes the life out of them.

And we all know how that feels!

However, as difficult as these films about narcissistic mothers are to watch, they also allow us to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes for a little bit and understand what they might be going through when having to deal with this bond.

Up Next

Shadows Of The Narcissist: 9 Subtle Behaviors In A Child Of A Narcissistic Parent

Subtle Behaviors Of A Child Of A Narcissistic Parent

If you have been raised by a narcissistic parent, you know how tumultuous and disturbing your childhood has been. As a child of a narcissistic parent, you must have been through a lot of painful and humiliating things while being forced to mirror them constantly.

Growing up with NPD parents can have far-reaching consequences that can shape your relationship with the world and the people around you.

The first step towards recovery from narcissistic parents is understanding them. Whether it’s their early developmental trauma that triggers such behaviors or their fear of watching their children become independent, being informed about NPD parents mitigates the passing on of generational trauma