We meet countless people in our lifetime. We end up establishing some sort of relationship with people with whom we associate ourselves. But quite often, we come across narcissists who tend to make our lives more and more toxic with every passing day. But you’re not the only one. A lot of people run into such relations without any prior knowledge. But there’s nothing to worry of course. Follow these easy steps to know exactly how to get a narcissist to leave you alone.
A narcissist can use every type of manipulation to get you to stay; to avoid them, here are 8 effective ways you can get a narcissist to leave you alone!
So What Exactly Is Narcissism?
The word narcissism comes from the ancient Greek “Narcissus” (an individual who fell in love with his own image reflected in the water). It is defined as excessive admiration of one’s self and their attributes. In modern psychology, it is labeled as a mental ailment namely “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”, and it affects many people across the globe. The instability in emotions and body-language brought about this ailment ranges from being mild to consequentially harmful.
What Are The Symptoms Exhibited By A Narcissist?
1. They Feel Entitled
Narcissists always expect you to do as they desire or instruct. They feel that the world revolves around them and wants them to behave in a certain way. A way that would fulfill their ego or satisfy their false sense of authority. Often, it becomes frustrating to tackle such behavior.
2. Overly opinionated
Narcissists tend to believe that the way they perceive the world is absolute. That all other perceptions are flawed and ignorant. They are so unwilling to compromise on their prejudice, that arguments seem like a war to them. They feel offended and often threatened when faced with criticisms.
3. Low Emotional IQ
Almost all narcissists have this particular trait in common. It stems from their lack of empathy and compassion. The absolute nature of their mentality has brought about a sense of doubt and hatred towards people around them.
They pay no attention to your emotional state and don’t care how you feel. They expect you to handle your emotions all by yourself and maintain the desired level of control. They tend to react violently to petty things but expect you to optimize the emotional tension in the relationship.
4. They Take You On A Guilt Trip
Narcissists blame you for everything that goes wrong. Even when it’s clearly their fault, they will point fingers at you, shoving all the burden on your shoulders. As a result, anyone in a relationship with them starts developing a sort of guilt complex.
They begin to doubt their own sense of right and wrong. In the wrong run, it develops into a mental ailment altogether. Even then, the narcissist feels no regret for their actions. The blame game continues, thus leaving you in an emotionally scarred state.
5. They Threaten You Quite Often
In case you try to win an argument with a narcissist, they simply threaten you to the point that you’re forced to coil back into your shell of submission and blind obedience. The adverse effects of this include perpetuation of the suffering and regret on your part for being stuck in a never-ending vicious cycle of toxicity.
Narcissists have no regard for logic. Their baseless arguments are fueled by vanity and prejudice. They will threaten you by saying “If you say one more word, I’ll leave”, “Say a word and I’d beat the hell out of you”, etc, just to end the argument and claim victory for themselves.
6. Their Mood Swings Violate All Common Sense
Narcissists can be very enticing. They’ll lure you into believing that they have unconditional affection for you and that you mean the world to them. They’ll devise all possible ways to hypnotize you into their trap. And then all of a sudden, you’ll find them acting cold. Out of nowhere, their attitude takes a complete 180-degree turn.
You’ll be perplexed by such an unprecedented change. But unfortunately, you’re reaction won’t change anything. Even if you try to make things better, they’d stick to their temperament. Narcissists play by their rules and expect you to accord with their fleeting whimsical nature.
So How To Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone?
So all these sounds pretty claustrophobic doesn’t it? But fear not. If you’re in such a situation, you can always carve a way out of this misery.
1. Peace Out
Probably the best way to avoid direct conflict with a potential narcissist. Allow them to realize their mistake by themselves. Now you’d probably think that there’s no point in experimenting with this idea, since they’d keep advocating such behaviors.
But here’s the point. The more you go on a head-on clash with them, the more they’d turn violent, making things all the worse. So if you want to preserve the relationship, just yield to their egotistic arguments. Let them blabber, don’t go against them. In time, you’ll find some diminishing trends in their aggressive behaviors.
2. Suggest, Don’t Order
Suppose you want them to work on their narcissism by meditating each day. But the question is, how do you convince them? The moment you put forward your advice, they’d bring forth their baseless arguments to the table. So it is suggested that you suggest them in a very subtle way, so that they don’t realize that they’re being advised a treatment. This would reduce the chances of your ideas getting bounced back.
3. Don’t Respond With Emotion
When you realize the conversation is getting heated up, just become aware of the situation and get a hold of your emotions. You have to make sure that your feelings don’t get apparent to the narcissist. Else you’d end up helping them fuel the negative atmosphere.
When you remain emotionally indifferent and stoic, they can find no room for inserting their narcissistic claws. Keep in mind that the person you’re dealing with is emotionally unstable and that you’re just helping them to overcome the ailment by maneuvering your emotional output.
4. Shift The Center Of Attention To Yourself
As explained earlier, narcissists tend to think that the world revolves around them. Break this perception in a subtle way. Reply to their messages, but after hours, or even days. Respond to their calls and beckoning, but occasionally.
Show them that you have engagements other than being with them. Make them realize that people have their individual lives and that exercising control over them is not only bad but that it also violates human rights. This would surely help you to maintain the relationship, as well as keep yourself away from the radiating negativity.
5. Compliment Them For No Reason
You can gather the idea that this would only fuel their ego. But don’t get it wrong. While you’re being suggested to keep away from narcissistic arguments, it is equally important to create an indirect wall of defense against these people. How? Well, narcissists, no doubt love themselves. They seek compliments all the time.
You showering them with compliments would reduce the chance of them feeling ignored and thus, the likelihood of an upcoming ugly fight. This false complementing can fend off the potential arguments that can come as a result of them feeling not getting acknowledged enough.
6. Set Limits
It is characteristic of a narcissist to exercise absolute control over all spheres of the victim’s life. That goes on to include even their personal space. But you, as an individual have every right to set limitations when it comes to such intrusive behaviours. The personal space is something that should be valued and respected at the same time. Make them understand the gravity of it by strict adherence to your principles. Compromising on your personal freedom is never an alternative when it comes to stabilizing a derailed relation.
7. Don’t Fall For Their Traps
As mentioned earlier, narcissists have a way with emotional hypnotism. They put on a mask of caregiving and compassion to fool people with a high emotional quotient and lure them into stepping inside their inferno. But you should be overly cautious, especially when you find them trying to entice you with flowery words.
A sudden levity in their temperament is in no way a healthy indication. Instead, it is a fishing net weaved by the narcissist to catch the emotionally gullible. Whenever you notice such peculiar change, become aware of every step they make and act accordingly.
8. If None Of The Above Works, Go No Contact
You tried your best to incorporate the aforementioned solutions. Kept your fingers crossed and prayed for positive results. But it all turned out to be wishful thinking. In that case, don’t feel emotionally cornered. Instead, take a breath, accept the outcome and move on. There’s no harm in cutting off contacts with a narcissist. After all, you gave your best. The fact that it didn’t work only implies the vanity of it. So calm yourself, and feel free to walk away. Your mental peace is always more valuable than anything else.
Coming To The End Of It
So what do you think? Do you have the patience and level of tolerance to direct your relationship in the right direction? Can you make a narcissist work on their mental ailment? Surely, you can just quit if you no longer wish to continue the relationship, but there are people who still hope for making things better. How about giving it a second thought? A second chance? After all, there’s no harm in trying.