They say that body language accounts for more in human communication than speech. But how does this translate over to the language of love? A person’s body languages make for the most credible signs of attraction, because one cannot fake them.
If you’re single and looking to mingle, chances are you’ll actively seek the companionship you want.
Whether it is to test the waters and then get into a committed relationship or keep things light with someone you really like, wanting a connection that is based on attraction is obvious. The more attracted you are to a person, the more the connection can flow wherever it needs to.
On that note though, you might be wondering if it’s really possible to tell if someone you’re attracted to, is also attracted you. Evolutionarily, both men and women are geared to watch out for signs that someone they are interested in are also interested in them.
Researcher Monica Moore from Webster University of course has found that men tend to miss out on cues more often than women, who seem more in tune with observing and noting of body language cues.
Here are some signals for you to follow if you’re eager to read what’s expressed through the body language of a person.
1. Open posture
This is perhaps the simplest body language signs of attraction that a person finds you safe, non-threatening and perhaps even interesting.
Whether it is man or woman, body language that is “open”, and this includes uncrossed arms, nothing blocking the way like a bag or purse, a relaxed face and an easy stance.
All of this put together, often means the person feels relaxed enough with you around. This, any day, is the first sign of opening up.
The open posture definition also extends to the way a man stands and a woman sits.
If a man stands, his feet firmly planted into the ground, his body stretching vertically to show his full height, it’s a huge possibility that they are eager to know the person in front of them.
With women, if they relax back into their chairs and also have the inner sides of their palms and wrists showing, trust and eagerness to know more become clearer.
A study conducted by Vacharkulksemsuk and Associates in 2016 exploring the non-verbal behavior of speed-daters, revealed that an open body language is in fact deemed attractive in both men and women. Analyses as a follow-up looked at why openness and expansiveness were both so attractive, and the conclusion was reached that such body language actually plays on “perceived dominance”.
In either case, such a dominance indicates the confidence of the potential mate in their social status as well as resources they would be inclined to sharing with their partner.
2. Leaning in and head tilting
Attraction and consequent ease often lead both men and women to lean in, when they are eager to feel closer to the person in front of them. Both these behaviours are largely subconscious and more guided by our evolutionary needs and experiences than we can tell. Both leaning in and head tilting are known to release pheromones, chemical substances that get released by the body altering social behaviour.
The pheromones establish non-verbal connect and can actually pave the way for a deeper connect between two people.
Jeffrey Hall, author of “The Five Flirting Styles” along with Chong Xing conducted a study to look at verbal and non-verbal behaviour among 51 pairs. In this study, they coded 36 flirting behaviors, including leaning forward among others and said that based on the behavior expressed by the person, they could tell which flirting style the person inherently fell back upon.
3. Feet point towards the object of attraction
The way the body works in a social context, if witnessed with ease and grace, can often tell us what we need to know about ourselves and anybody else we are spending time with.
Our feet are the channels we use to move around and physically, decide the way we are going to take in any given context. Watching out for how your feet are pointed when you’re getting to know someone can tell you tons about how you’re feeling. If your feet are clearly pointing in the direction of the person, there’s a high likelihood you feel at ease with them and have a genuine interest in them.
Similarly, if your feet have a natural tendency of moving away, check for the feelings you might be carrying.
An “exit” orientation is often a tell-tale sign you’re engaging the person out of duty or specific context rather than authentic interest. The feet of the other person, likewise, could also tell you where they might be placed in terms of the connection.
4. Trying to look one’s best
Courtship unconsciously entails looking your best.
Though realistically, this isn’t possible around the clock, the initial hours and days of doing your best to draw a person in often revolves around something really simple.
As innocuous as this sounds, whether it is a man or woman moving towards you and readying themselves to set up a conversation, if you see them take the extra last-minute care to adjust their clothes, you can be assured they want to make an impression, if not anything else.
Now we all know that different people get into conversations and maintain them differently. For example, people with a more visual memory tend to look into space, recall something and then speak.
However, in mate finding behaviour, the unconscious pull often decides how a person responds with eye contact and general gaze.
Making more eye contact is certainly an indication someone is experience a keen interest to get to know you.
So is face-watching and not giving into distractions that may be unfolding around (for example, if you’re seated in a busy pub or restaurant).
Eye contact combined with taking in the features and paying attention to them, is indication enough the person is drawn towards you. You can use the same metric to judge your own behavior when you’re meeting someone new.
In her PhD thesis, a University of Oslo student Olga Chelnokova attempted to look at how the human brain is able to put focus on to the most important information revealed by a face. According to her research, a “reward system” is at play when there is attraction. This is tied to the same parts of the brain that find pleasure in good food or succeeding at a game or lottery.
While there are multiple common behavioural patterns in men and women to show they are interested in you, some are unique based on gender and context. It helps to know of evolutionary instincts and how they serve and fail us.
This can also be the starting point of you exploring the signals you exhibit and while doing so, trust how you feel in your gut. It is quicker to register non-verbals than the thinking brain.
Could you relate to the above-mentioned body language signs of attraction? Let us know in comments.