8 Tips of Wisdom To Help You Recover From ‘Blindsiding’ —The WORST Type Of Betrayal


Someone’s treatment of you does not, and never will reflect your true value.


3. Don’t get stuck in this moment.

It’s so easy to become completely consumed by the whole breakupsaga.

While you need to acknowledge what is happening and get practical about what needs to be done, you mustn’t let it take over your hope because the only thing bigger than our fears is hope.

Try to remember, there is a bigger picture and that this is just a small season in the grand scheme of life.


4. Stop over-thinking and blaming yourself.

For sure there are probably things you could have done better, I mean we are human and we make mistakes.

But don’t start the negative self-talk and assume that the reason this breakup has happened is because you have failed in so many ways.

The truth is that most the time, the reason why you are blindsided is because you have been consistent in your behavior, and your partner has been going through their inner turmoil that you weren’t even aware of.

People change, and that is something we cannot control or fix.

Their behavior does not reflect on who you are as a woman, it does not highlight your faults, it emphasizes theirs.


5. Focus on yourself.

Now is a time to heal and take care of you.

You have every right to be angry that the person you loved and trusted has betrayed you, but do not let it consume you. Don’t make this moment completely about them.

Instead, choose to refocus your thoughts on building your heart and life again without them.

Put your energy into activities and people who are positive and will support and keep your strong.

Get pampered, set some new goals, do that thing you always wanted to do, indulge yourself and do what makes you happy.


6. Choose to forgive, even if it doesn’t make sense.

The hardest part will be choosing to forgive them, even when you don’t want to, even when they don’t deserve it.

But forgiveness is about your healing, not theirs.

It’s part of the process to becoming whole again and letting go. It doesn’t mean you can forget what they did or that you should let them back in your life (if they come back with their tails between their legs!).

It, however, is the first step to being able to move forward.


7. Step forward with a plan.

Once the dust has settled a little and you can function a bit better daily, it will be time to make a practical plan. Because whilst you may feel like you are just existing right now, there will be a time when you thrive again.

You want to make sure there is as little stress in your life as possible when it comes to your living situation, finances, and children.

Talking to divorce lawyers or getting professional help will give you the strength and direction you will need.

When we have a plan, we feel a little more in control.

Renee Slansky is an Australian TV presenter, writer, professional blogger and dating and relationship coach, whose purpose and heart for women compelled her to educate people on how to find, build and cultivate healthy and fulfilling relationships. Her own blog www.thedatingdirectory.co is now the number 1 dating and relationship blog in Australia. Renee contributes advice regularly to some of the biggest online dating sites and publications globally including The Huffington Post, E Harmony, Plenty of Fish, Your Tango, MamaMia, The Good Men Project, The Love Destination and Yahoo 7. As a professional coach, Renee has built online programmes for women and mentors both men and women around the world. She is often called to comment as an expert for on the radio and Channel 7's The Morning Show and Sunrise and speaks at events. Her mission to educate a generation, change the dating culture and lower the divorce rate.