4 Struggles Only People Who Come From Toxic Family Will Understand


, ,
Struggles Only People From Toxic Families

Growing up in a toxic family has its own set of hardships and struggles, and only someone who belongs to one will well and truly understand that.

For a very long time, the structure of the family was considered the most important unit of society. But in modern times, the structure of the family is gradually collapsing. We may not have as many articles talking about this because the business of the family is still kept under wraps. How much ever we may deny it, but the family as a unit is crumbling down.

This only goes to prove one thing that a certain kind of toxicity has entered this system. This toxicity may result in pain and suffering for the family members. Most importantly, the victim of this toxicity may lead to a life full of stress, anxiety, and insecurity. Toxicity sure can make someone’s entire life absolutely toxic.

But we rarely address this issue. This is because of the sacrosanct status that is given to the family as a structure. The mainstream media wants to portray the family as an indivisible unit of society. Because of such a portrayal, we forget to question the idea of family. When we forget to question a structure, you know what follows. In some time, we ourselves become victims of the structure.

To avoid this, the first thing that we have to realize is that family isn’t as sacred as it is said to be. Secondly, family as a structure has its own set of problems and these problems can cause.

The most shocking part of all this process is that sometimes we don’t even realize that we are victims of the structure of the family. We continue to live our lives thinking that all things that happen within a family are acceptable, without even realizing that maybe sometimes the source of our insecurities and our bad experiences is family itself.

But our desire to get love makes us forget the damage that we are causing to ourselves. Ask the victims of family toxicity. They will surely tell you so much that they face because of their so-called benign family.

Related: How Coming From A Toxic Family Makes You Hard To Love

Here are just four of the serious struggles that people who find themselves in a toxic family face:

1. Communication is Difficult

If you have been a part of the toxic family, you will surely find it very hard to communicate with other people. Why does this happen?

This is because the way we communicate depends totally on what we learn at home. As human beings learn by example, if you see at home that there is a severe communication breakdown, you will never be able to forge communications outside of the home. Thus, all your interactions will be affected by what you go through at home.

Hence, people coming from a family where the toxicity is high, will fail to communicate their usual thoughts, let alone feelings. This will surely cause chaos in their personal life as well.

2. Unnecessary Anxiety

Children are very impressionable and when they are in toxic families where anxiety is a part of everyday life, they pick that up. This means that they constantly feel anxious and cannot stop themselves from worrying about things that don’t need worrying.

This is because as children, they were constantly worried about the family atmosphere and minor everyday things. Thus, that feeling stays with them forever and anxiety becomes a regular visitor.

Related: 10 Tips To Deal With Toxic Family Members Without Losing Your Mind

3. Gaslighting and Abuse Raise Reality Questions

As a member of a toxic family, your memories will surely differ from the memories of your parents. This means that a sad event will also be portrayed by your parents in a very happy and jovial manner. It will make you think that there is something wrong with your memory. As a result, you will even start questioning yourself and your identity. But beware of this.

What is happening with you is mere gaslighting. Now, in the version of your parents’, life has always been good and perfect. Don’t let this be your version. Stick to how you felt because you were there to feel it.

If you fail to stick to what you felt, you will fall into the trap of feeling that your very reality is in scrutiny. You will begin to question what is real and what is not. The repercussions of the same will be seen in your everyday life and even in the way you understand the world.

4. Relationships Suffer

We don’t even realize this but once a person goes through a negative family setup, they are marred forever. The family is usually the place where we put our trust and faith in for the first time. When we are not able to get that trust and faith back, the result is that we are afraid to put that trust into anyone else.

Also, when we feel that we have been created by our family, we start feeling that everyone around us is bound to cheat us. It becomes so very hard to instill that trust into someone again. Thus, all future relationships suffer. This is not only true for romantic relationships but it is also true for friendships.

Thus, the toxic family will leave an indelible imprint on the person’s mind. What can you do to reduce the pain?

• Talk to people or a therapist or anyone. Just talk it out.
• Focus more on yourself and your goals.
• Count your blessings. If you don’t have the love, shelter, and comfort of a family, you will surely have something else.
• Put yourself out in the world. More. This will help you deal with your problems much better.
• Trust more.
• Gather all the love that you get and celebrate it. You will get love, don’t worry.
• Have faith
• Don’t become all negative. Stay calm and positive. Look at the brighter side of things.
• Also, try to omit the bad memories and not by immersing yourself in alcohol. The only way to omit bad memories is to create new memories; happy ones.
• Love and laugh like there is no tomorrow.

Related: Why It’s Okay To Cut Toxic Family Members Out of Your Life

Maybe, the universe has been unkind to you but do the exact opposite. Be kind, love and enjoy whatever moments of happiness you have.

Kill the toxicity.

If you want to know more about the struggles of coming from a toxic family, then check this video out below:

The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1  is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021 

4 Struggles Only People Who Come From Toxic Families Will Understand2
Struggles Only People From Toxic Families Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Sharon Avatar

    As a survivor of being a member of a toxic family. I appreciate this well written piece. I appreciate reading articles that reinforce my boundary settings are acceptable and not selfishness. I agree that personal self care is of paramount importance.
    Thanks for your article

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Dive Into The Mind Of A Distancer: The Partner Who Pulls Away

Discover The Mind Of A Distancer: Things To Know Well

Pursuer distancer relationships cause a lot of heartache, especially for a pursuer. Learn about the mind of a distancer to understand your own or your partner’s behavior so you won’t take it personally.

As codependants, we usually gravitate toward insecure relationships where we’re a distancer or a pursuer. We may be a distancer in one relationship and a pursuer in the next. This is due to early attachment problems and dysfunctional parenting.

Reacting makes it worse! A distancer reacting by withdrawing or the pursuer reacting by pursuing exacerbates conflict and unhappiness.

Understand The Mind Of A Distancer

Up Next

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? The Surprising Ways You Might Be Gaslighting Without Knowing It

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? How Good Intentions Can Go Awry

Ever found yourself questioning your own reality after interaction with someone you know? Unintentional gaslighting can sneak into conversations, leaving you feeling disoriented and invalidated, even when no harm is intended.

Accidental, unintended or unconscious gaslighting in relationships can make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or even sanity. Someone’s words or actions can make you feel uncertain, dazed & confused without even realizing it.

Gaslighting, a term derived from a movie titled “Gaslight,” refers to the act of manipulating someone into doubting their own experiences and perceptions. But what is unintentional gaslighting?

Let’s explore this lesser-known concept and shed light on

Up Next

Lost Connection: How To Heal From Emotional Neglect In Marriage And Find Hope

How To Heal From Emotional Neglect In Marriage: Tips

Do you know why some marriages appear to be thriving while others seem to be crumbling? What is it that creates such distance among spouses? While there can be various reasons behind marital distress, one often overlooked but significant factor is emotional neglect in marriage.

Emotional neglect can quietly erode the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners feeling lonely, disconnected, and unfulfilled. Let us delve into the depths of emotional neglect in marriage, exploring what actually is, signs, underlying causes, and most importantly, how to heal and nurture a healthier emotional connection with your spouse.

What is Emotional Neglect in Marriage?

Emotional neglect in marriage refers to a pat

Up Next

Vulturing: Beware Of This Latest Toxic Dating Trend!

What Is Vulturing Dating: Toxic Signs To Be Wary Of

In the world of dating, there are more online trends than you can swipe in a day. The new one on the block is called vulturing dating. Let’s find out what it means in a relationship.

So, What Is Vulturing Dating?

Among the colloquialisms of modern dating, this one is called “vulturing.” In a similar vein to the predatory bird it’s named after, vulturing entails someone hovering around people who are on the brink of ending their relationship.

They wait until they can swoop in with malicious intent on damaged hearts — sometimes as soon as possible after their former partner cuts them loose and they’re emotiona

Up Next

Conditional Relationship? 8 Red Flags Indicating You’re in a Relationship with Strings Attached

Conditional Relationship: Signs You Are In One

Relationships can be an incredible source of happiness, love, joy and contentment. However, not all relationships are the same; while some might feel as comforting as a warm blanket on a cold night, some are like an annoying sweater that doesn’t fit well. Being in a conditional relationship can make you feel like the latter.

Conditional relationships, in particular, can make you feel unsure and alone, because the relationship and the “love” comes with strings attached. So, how can you know if you’re in a conditional relationship or not?

We are going to talk about the signs of conditional love, what does cond

Up Next

How To Deal With An Obsessive Ex That Won’t Leave You Alone: 5 Steps You Can Take

How To Deal With Obsessive Ex: Urgent Steps You Can Take

Dealing with an obsessive ex is one of the most horrible experiences one can go through. What are the best ways to handle obsessive people? What are the effective steps you can take when it comes to dealing with an obsessive ex? Let’s find out!

There are certain people who just can’t handle being dumped. They go crazy. They hate losing their “control” and “power” over their partners.

Recently my good friend ended an abusive relationship. Thankfully he realised he was in a relationship with a narcissist and that his only way forward was without her. Soon after the relationship ended, he found a new partner — he was ecstatic, he was just about to ride off into the sunset with his sweetheart.

There was one issue — his e

Up Next

The “False Self” Of A Narcissist: Look Beyond The Facade!

Hidden Narcissist False Self: Make Believe Traits in Them

The narcissist false self is charming and confident, masking underlying insecurities and emptiness beneath. Let’s find out other secrets they hide!

Narcissists have a false self. They’re master illusionists. They behave like a little king or queen — whether bragging or sulking. Their whole personality is a charade crafted to deceive you into believing they are confident, superior, self-sufficient, likable, and caring.

In studies, groups of people met with and liked a narcissist, but after 6 more interviews, they discerned the narcissist’s true nature and changed thei