Coming From A Toxic Family? 5 Ways It Makes You Hard To Love

how coming from a toxic family makes you hard to love

Anyone coming from a toxic family carries a lot of emotional baggage and heartbreak. Coming from a toxic family means harboring a lot of painful feelings in your heart, and not always knowing how to deal with them.

When you come from a toxic family, your way of seeing the world is often skewed.

Love and relationships, to you, are painful and difficult. Rather than seeing connections with others as positive, or as means of growing you as a person, you often feel manipulated or controlled.

Instead of wanting to open yourself to the potential of a real relationship, you tend to hold back, fearing commitment and scared to truly let go. Not only is loving hard for you, but oftentimes it becomes difficult for others to really support and care for you, too.

Related: 10 Signs of Toxic Family Enmeshment and How It May Impact You As An Adult

Here’s how coming from a toxic family makes you hard to love, and ways you can learn to open yourself a little more.

1. You’re often guarded and afraid to let others in.

Your toxic family has negatively shaped the way you view relationships.

Because you’ve been hurt so many times by the people closest to you, you’re guarded. You don’t want to let people in because you’re tired of being disappointed and hurt.

Opening up seems like a chore and one where the risk doesn’t outweigh the reward. Although you want to let others in, you either feel like you can’t because of your past, or you’ve completely forgotten how because of the walls you’ve built.

2. You’re hesitant when it comes to giving someone your heart.

You’re hesitant when it comes to anything with your heart.

You’ve built protective walls and barriers to keep people as far from you as you possibly can—life feels safer that way.

Giving someone your heart sounds beautiful but requires vulnerability that you’re not willing to have yet. Your toxic family has taught you that when you’re vulnerable, you get hurt, and the fear you have outweighs your willingness to even try.

3. You tend to assume the worst when it comes to people and situations.

You’ve learned to not expect too much from people because they often leave you disappointed or hurt. Because of your family experiences, you tend to assume the worst. This keeps you from really getting close to people or taking chances on relationships.

4. You’re unwilling to really trust.

Trust isn’t something you freely give.

After all, the closest people to you have betrayed you time and time again. Even if you’re faced with a genuine person who proves his or her loyalty, you’re still unwilling to return that trust.

5. You often make knee-jerk decisions, or react in the moment rather than thinking things through.

Because of your toxic family, you often react in-the-moment.

If something upsets you, you express this—often negatively. If there’s any sign of trouble, you have the tendency to balk or run. This leaves you from actually getting through tough moments and makes people feel as if you’re flighty or inconsistent.

Coming From A Toxic Family
dealing with a toxic family

How you can open yourself to love a little more when you’re dealing with a toxic family environment

Coming from a toxic family can create barriers in the way you build connections and relationships with others.

Although you’ve been through a difficult or tumultuous past, you can’t let that negativity shape the new relationships in your life.

In order to open yourself up, you must understand that every person is different. Just because someone close to you hurt you in the past doesn’t mean the new person in your life will. Just because you’ve been heartbroken before doesn’t make falling in love again any less worth it.

Related: 5 Helpful Tips To Deal With Toxic Family And Save Yourself

Practice being vulnerable in small segments. Share one secret and let this naturally build into more and deeper things. Show up for people and listen when they share something with you. And above all, understand that healing takes time.

You are not your toxic family, and you will move on and find loving, nurturing relationships despite what happened to you.


How Coming From A Toxic Family Makes You Hard To Love
Do You Come From A Toxic Family Environment? 5 Ways It Makes You Hard To Love
how coming from a toxic family makes you hard to love pin
Coming From A Toxic Family? 5 Ways It Makes You Hard To Love
Ads

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect façade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal



Up Next

Surviving Toxic Friendships: 15 Shocking Signs Of An Abusive Friend You Can’t Afford To Ignore

Signs of an Abusive Friend: Surviving Toxic Friendships

Do you feel like your BFF is jealous of you? Do they constantly criticize and always try to influence your decisions? Are they always around when they need a favor from you, but immediately disappear when you need support? Then it is likely you have a toxic, abusive friend. Let us explore the signs of an abusive friend and how to deal with an abusive friend.

A friendship is one of the most authentic and purest forms of relationships we can experience as it is not bound by blood or any compulsion. Friendships are born out of mutual respect, support, companionship and happiness. Our friends support us and pick us up when we are down and guide us when we stray too far.

However, some individuals use the mask of friendship simply to exploit, dominate and abuse us. They pretend to be our friends as long as we are of use to them and freque



Up Next

The Playbook Of Deceit: 11 Narcissistic Games Used To Torment You

Narcissistic Games Used To Torment: Playbook Of Deceit

Have you ever encountered someone that made you question your own sanity? Or found yourself caught in a web of manipulation, unsure of how you got there? If so, then you may have encountered a narcissist and have been a victim of narcissistic games.

Narcissists are masters at psychological games. A charming smile hides their darker agenda as they play several mind games to control and exploit you. These mind games narcissists play can be psychologically damaging, without you even realizing it at times.

In this article, we’ll unravel 11 narcissistic games, exposing all their tactics, so that you don’t fall



Up Next

Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers: Understanding Their Struggles

Having a narcissistic mother is, safe to say, one of the most traumatic things to go through. Sons of narcissistic mothers look at the world and relationships in an entirely skewed way, and this is due to the lessons they have learned growing up with a narcissistic mother.

KEY POINTS

The worldview of a young man whose mother has narcissistic personality disorder becomes skewed.

NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, among other traits.

Once one have been gaslit, they may always suspect the people they are close with may be ho



Up Next

How Men Suffer From The Lack Of Maternal Love And Affection When Raised by Unloving Mothers

How Men Suffer From The Lack Of Maternal Love

It is a commonly accepted belief that motherly love and affection are essential for the healthy development of a child. However, research suggests that a lack of maternal love and affection can have particularly negative effects on men.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men who reported having a lack of maternal love and affection during their childhood were more likely to exhibit symptoms of depression and anxiety as adults, compared to men who reported having a warm and loving relationship with their mothers.

Similarly, ano



Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or it’s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, we’re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults – those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

Picture it like a hidden script influencing your responses. But fear not, understanding these signs of repressed childhood trauma can empower you to reclaim control.

So, grab a metaphorical flashlight as we navigate through the shadows of the past, unveiling the clues that migh



Up Next

Why Is Everybody So Mean To Me? 20 Lesser Known Reasons And How To Respond

Why Is Everybody So Mean To Me? Hidden Reasons

Ever wondered “why is everybody so mean to me?” It is an agonizing question that lingers in the minds of many people who feel like they are always being confronted with hostility from others. 

Though it may seem overwhelming and personal, it’s essential to acknowledge that there are a lot of factors at play in human interactions. Let’s find out why some people tend to behave rudely and how to deal with mean people.

Why is Everybody So Mean to Me?