If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a malignant narcissist or someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder, you might have wondered on more than one occasion whether you are the narcissist in the relationship. This post will help you know what is healthy and unhealthy narcissism.
Thanks to the gaslighting and manipulation involved in the relationship, a toxic partner, friend, or family member may have convinced you that you are, in fact, the one who is toxic and that they are the innocent victim. So, how do you know if you’re the narcissist – or not? What if You’re the Narcissist? (See video on YouTube or read below).
What’s the Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Narcissism?
Would you be offended if I told you that you have at least a little bit of narcissism in your personality? It’s actually the truth! See, every single one of us has some amount of narcissism.
At its most basic level, narcissism is simple self-interest, so just the fact that you woke up this morning, maybe got dressed and fed yourself? That is an indication of narcissism. Getting your hair done or wearing outfits that you love can be considered narcissistic. Thinking you’re attractive, or smart, or in any way a good person? Also narcissism.
But there’s a difference between someone who cares about themselves and someone who is what we call a “malignant” narcissist.
So, let’s talk about that. One of the biggest things that people ask me when they first find my videos, articles, books or podcasts is, “but isn’t EVERYONE a narcissist?”
And my answer is always yes. But…there’s more to it than that. See, there is such a thing as “healthy narcissism,” and then there’s what we call “malignant” or “toxic narcissism.”
Read What Is Healthy Narcissism? How Does it Differ from Self Love
Healthy Narcissism vs Unhealthy Narcissism
Whether it’s due to our culture, our technology, our parents, or some other cause, a larger percentage of narcissists seem to be coming out of the woodwork. Some people are even calling it an epidemic.
And of course, in the past couple of years, tons of new so-called experts have come out of the woodwork, MOST of them doing the work because they have found someone like me and healed, so they’re trying to give back. There are some who aren’t so genuine in their efforts, but we won’t give them any more focus than they deserve.
Is there a narcissism epidemic?
As news and gossip around certain well-known narcissist-types swirl through the media and our minds these days, you’ve got to wonder if maybe there is a narcissism epidemic, right? In any case, there seems to be evidence of an increase in narcissism in our society, and there are those who would argue that there is a certain amount of narcissism that is healthy for most people.
Would you be totally shocked that I agree with “them,” that there is a certain amount of narcissism that is necessary to survive and certainly thrive in the world these days? It’s true. But a healthy amount of narcissism looks a lot more like a dedication to one’s own happiness and success – along with the ability to empathize with and generally care for other people and their feelings.
How do you know what’s healthy when it comes to narcissism?
What does healthy narcissism really look like? Well, it starts with self-esteem. It looks like loving (or at least being okay with) yourself and understanding that you have value without the need for excessive outside validation. It means that you don’t need people around you to be “less than” you in order to feel validated.
