The pain that failed relationships cause, leaving us damaged and broken, naturally gives rise to a plethora of confusing emotions and bitter thoughts that make us want to give up on love forever. But, giving up on love is not the right way to move on from a disappointing relationship. The reason being that love is something that constitutes your being. Yes, as naive as it may sound, the truth is that we are all made of Love!
Love isn’t just a feeling; it is a state of your being. Honored spiritual teaches, like Ramkrishna, explain to us the nature of Great Love or Absolute Love, which is considered the source of everything.
According to these wise souls, love underpins the fabric of the universe and hence, is present at the very core of humans. This all-pervading energy keeps the world going round. All creations are a manifestation of the supremely powerful force called Love.
As a result, only by nurturing the divine force of love within ourselves are we able to experience true happiness and find meaning in life. When we choose to give up on love, we become disconnected from our true nature, which simply wants to give and receive love; and thereby, we become confused, disoriented and unhappy beings.
Giving up on what we are made of is the biggest mistake we can possibly make! Love gives us a sense of coherence. By discarding love from our lives, we bring in a feeling of numbness in our souls. Everything feels pointless, we lose our sense of purpose in life.
Don’t blame the pain on love
When things don’t work out in a relationship, we think that love is responsible for us feeling hurt.
”I was a fool to fall in love.”
“I’ll never allow myself to fall in love again.”
“Love just causes pain. I can’t handle so much pain, so I’m giving up on love!’’- I hear things like these so often. But will you believe me if I say that it is not loving, or you being in love that caused so much pain?
If we must hold something responsible for our pain, it should be the misconceptions about love that we have cultivated in our minds. The ideas we have about love, what ideal relationships should be like, what is right and wrong in love; and our unshakable belief in these notions is what really causes pain.
Most of us are oblivious to the spiritual nature of love. Usually, our love is about controlling our partner, where our egos make decisions, instead of our spirits. In the name of love, we play God with a loved one’s life. We think that we know what’s best for the other person and try to influence their destiny. But in the process, we often rob them of their freedom and become a hindrance in the path they were intended to follow. Every soul wants to express freely, to live authentically. But when we interfere, things often go terribly wrong.
Genuine love means not wanting to either change or cage a person. True love is only interested in loving wholeheartedly, without demands and expectations; it is unconditional.
We have moved away from this selfless, unadulterated nature of love. Instead, we fill our heads with toxic ideas about love that ultimately causes pain and emotional distress in relationships. So, if you’re going through a heartbreak, don’t blame love and give up on it. Give up your false notions that tarnish the divine elements of love. Give up your attachment. Over-attachment is unhealthy, and the root cause of all grief.
“Drop the idea that attachment and love are one thing. They are enemies. It is attachment that destroys all love ’’- Chanakya
We confuse love with attachment and all sorts of unwholesome feelings. Attachment leads to dependency and fear and is actually a manifestation of the love of self instead of the love of another person.
Most people claiming to know all about love are in reality unaware of the infinite nature of love. Their false notions about love permeate our societies and cultures, and influence the way we handle relationships.
Let love be a liberating journey
True love liberates the soul and is a freeing experience. It moves us towards good emotions only. It doesn’t hold back, it doesn’t bind- that’s the job of your ego, the enemy of love. True love is able to manifest from all possible distances, whether that person lives across town or in another continent. No doubt that you crave to be around the person you love at all times. But if two souls are truly united, distance becomes inconsequential.
Expectations have become such a big part of relationships. We seldom completely accept our partners for who they are. Instead, we want to change this and that about them. We expect our love to last forever. With so many expectations, we are bound to suffer.
Many of your relationships might not work out, but that is no reason to not want to love again.
It is essential to realize that each one of us is an individual, free entity. Just like you want to be free, so does your partner. When you love somebody, the best thing you can do is let that person always be their authentic, independent self. Set them free and allow them to be whatever they desire to be, and to go wherever they need to go. And remember, when two souls bond together, the connection is always pure. If a relationship is short-lived, it doesn’t imply that the love they shared is any less profound than in a relationship that lasts longer.
The truth is, we can never be sure about the longevity of anything in life, including relationships we form with another person. So all we can do is love wholeheartedly, love purely and unreservedly, without attachment and expectations. Treasure the rare connection of two souls. Give it you’re all. Each and every time.
The more you try to control and confine each other, the louder the soul rebels and tries to be free from the bondage; resulting in clashes, bitterness and pain.
Have you ever wondered why so many people regret their marriages these days? It is because instead of being a celebration of love, marriage has become a means to imprison each other. If people feel that they can no longer be themselves around their partner; when their right to be free, real, and unique souls is taken away, they naturally try to break free of the institution caging them.
Hence, I firmly believe that if we change our perspective of love, relationship and marriage, we will not have to suffer in love.
Giving up on love is not the solution. Love cannot hurt; instead, it enlightens the souls that give and receive it. Never forget that we are made of love and hence, spreading love is the best thing we can do.
Do you still feel that love is the reason for our heartbreaks? Or do you agree that the misconceptions regarding love and how relationships should pan out is what causes all the unwanted pain? Do leave your thoughts in the comment section below.