As you’ll read below, every survivor describes narcissists in DANGEROUS terms. Each person that’s been victimized personally by a narcissist will warn you and serve as a cautionary tale that if you welcome a narcissist into your life, you’re dancing with the devil; welcoming them in to do one thing and one thing only to you: use, abuse and destroy you.
Many onlookers or those who haven’t experienced the narcissist in an unmasked state have a hard time believing that the people we describe and the horrendous acts of abuse committed on us were done by the very people they have a different opinion of. They don’t understand the disordered’s modus operandi. They don’t understand that their belief that the narcissist is a “likeable or admirable” character is evidence that the danger has already started, they’re manipulated by the narcissist’s “mask” and they’re in complete denial of reality.
There are two main traits of a narcissist that most all other symptomology stems from: Delusional reality and lack of empathy.
1. Delusional Reality
The first reason a narcissist is dangerous to others is because they are in complete denial of reality.
Here are a few of the delusions that are always present in a narcissist’s psyche:
a) Delusion Of Grandeur
This denial of reality comes in the form of the narcissist having the belief about themselves that they just deserve more. They’re larger than life, a celebrity in their own minds, entitled to take from people without having to give anything back. Statements that reflect delusions of grandeur go something like this “Don’t you know who I am?” “I had to wait in line for an hour!” “I wont be spending MY money here again, if this is the service I get”.
According to the DSM-IV TR grandiose-type symptoms include grossly exaggerated beliefs of ones own:
- exceptional relationship to a divinity or famous person.
b) Perfect Image
Anyone who thinks that perfection is obtainable and struggles to feel ‘worthy’ without achieving perfection is not in touch with reality. Reality dictates that we are fallable. We make mistakes, we fail, we fumble, we screw up; this is a fact of life, nature, the universe. For the narcissist, they possess the delusion that if they or the people around them achieve an image of being “perfect” that they will finally feel “ok”. They’re striving for something outside of themselves to feel good inside; this will NEVER happen.
c) Entitlement – Others Exist To Serve Them
Narcissists hold the delusional thought that other human beings are objects that only exist to serve their needs. They view others in an inhumane way which allows them to act out on us with no empathy because they don’t believe we have rights of our own that the narcissist needs to pay any attention to. This complete and utter disregard for the rights of others, stems from their delusional thoughts that only ONE person benefits (wins) and that is the narcissist themselves. Narcissists view that everyone “owes” them is not in any way, shape, and/or form “realistic”.
d) Boundaries Don’t Exist
Not being aware of the boundaries that exist between two people is a denial of reality. The reality is that two people have separate identities, with separate thoughts, feelings, motivations, dreams, ideas, goals and rights. When a narcissist treats others as if they have the right to order, control, push and dictate another’s behavior (even if it’s manipulatively disguised as “helpful advice”), they are more driven by their desire for power than they are the right of the person they’re controlling to think, feel or act for themselves and are blinded from reality by that desire for power.