Breakups are always hard to deal with, and moving on can be a challenge. But what you do after a breakup can decide how fast you will heal from it.
“No matter how hard your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.” — Faraaz Kazi
Whoever named the separation of two lovers as breakup was quite brilliant with words. Breakups indeed break a person.
There are no scars or any physical sign of pain and hurt they are going through but anyone who has walked this path knows how your legs throb when you step on the broken pieces of your heart.
Breakups are followed by a mental breakdown, resentment, anger, and many other emotions that worsen the condition. No matter how excruciating the moments get, always remember that it is not the end and you are still great.
In those hard times, you need to hold yourself and your emotions together and there are few things you need to remember after your breakup.
1. The pain is real
Many researchers have concluded that the pain we suffer from a breakup is real i.e our brain and body function in the same way as it would to physical pain.
There is no unit to measure the pain when we go through a breakup but if there was I am sure it would surpass the pain from broken bones.
The hurt you feel is not imaginary. The desolation you’re lost in is like the missing flesh from your body after an accident.
Like any other pain, the pain from a break up needs time to heal too. Your heart and your mind need time to heal. Trying to numb down the pain by using alcohol or drugs just worsens the conditions.
Time is the best healer and we should let it do its work. You cannot rush, try to slow or rush it is never in your interest.
2. You are worthy
Often after a breakup, we start questioning our existence and worth ‘what did I do?’ ‘Was I not good enough?’ ‘Where did I go wrong?’
Remember you’re worth more than a failed relationship. It’s not necessarily your fault or it’s not that you were not worthy. Bad things happen, personalities clash, misunderstandings arise and many times you cannot help it.
Maybe things were supposed to go this way. Nothing in this world is permanent and this sounds harsh but feelings do fade away.
Focus on the good. Instead of belittling yourself and questioning your existence try to gather the lessons from the relationship, ask yourself what you learned from that person. Take the lessons as they will help you grow.
3. You get to start fresh
Your home and hopes have fallen down, while you lie there in the abyss of your despair just get up, get aside and realize that it’s time you give yourself a fresh start.
It’s meaningless to chase someone who doesn’t value your worth, one who doesn’t want to see your depth. It’s time you do things that matter to you.
There were things you wanted to do for yourself but couldn’t because you were too busy making your partner happy, it’s time you treat yourself now.
It’s you take care of yourself. Go to the places you always wanted to explore, learn the things you wanted to learn, wear the dresses you always wanted to but didn’t because your partner didn’t like the color.
Just give your life afresh restart, the break up killed you a little inside, and now is the time to be reborn again, stronger and wiser.
4. Don’t try to replace what you lost
The pain in your heart is real and too big but do not reach out for something to fill that empty space in your heart. I can only tell you how bad that is.
Immediately falling into another relationship or using the drugs and alcohol to numb the pain will only worsen the condition and slow down the healing process.
Instead try meditation, yoga, hiking, or traveling. These have proven to help people going through a breakdown. Therapy helps in allowing the emotions in a productive manner.
Leaving yourself in desolation in a company of darkness and sorrow will not let you move on. You out there and reach out for those seeking your help.
Each day be thankful for the blessings you have in your life. When you start looking at life beyond the zenith of relationship you will find how beautiful it still is.
5. Love yourself
While in a relationship you give in your best because the happiness of your partner is what (you believe) makes you happy.
You go the extra mile just to bring a smile on their face, you do things constantly to impress them and have their attention.
I am not saying these things are bad, but now is the time to do these things for you. Now is the time you give yourself the same attention and care you gave to your partner.
Self-love is not selfish, once you start loving yourself you are allowing yourself to grow into something much bigger and better.
Just because someone exited your life doesn’t end your life, its time for a fresh start. Loving yourself fills you with energy and strength.
No one knows you better than you do, you know what makes you happy and what doesn’t, treat yourself accordingly.
Take your time to feel the pain, each pain we suffer from is there to teach us a lesson, allow the pain to go through you and bring about the changes.
Sometimes you break so that new light can enter you. Let the new light enter through the cracks. In these hard times do remember that you’re not alone, your friends and family love you, reach out to them.
Once you start loving yourself you will realize what you were missing out on. When you start taking care of yourself and loving yourself you will naturally become better and more lovable, the people and you as well will love the new you.
Your life will have a new beginning.
Stay there when you fall, let the pain go through you, don’t try to numb it or stop it. Once it has served its purpose you will know, stand back up then and run again.
Life doesn’t stop when you fall, run and get it, the show must go on.
If you want to know more about what you should do after a breakup, then check this video out below: