“Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by extreme vanity, arrogance and self-absorption”
-American Psychiatric Association
Does anyone around you pose themselves as the knower of anything and everything? Do they always use ‘me, my and I’ in their conversation? If yes, you would have observed they mostly focus their conversations on themselves. They would even come up with some or other story that would make them the center of discussion. These indicators clearly signal you have a narcissist at hand. These people are so self-absorbed that they don’t even care what you have to say on the subject. They have over-inflated sense of self and because of their big egos they think they are better than everyone else and deserve to be treated that way.
Not all narcissists are same. While some of them may be outright rude and arrogant and effortlessly heap insults on you, others may use sugar coated words and exhibit a pleasant demeanor. At the core they are selfish, self-centered and completely lack emotions. They can pretend to be anything as long as it helps them to get what they want.
In fact it is very difficult to identify a narcissist unless you have spent a great deal of time with them. Sometimes, the awakening is too late and accompanied with an emotional setback.
In whatever way a narcissist may choose to manifest, certain basic traits are common to all of them. Here are some of the most common characteristics:
1. They want everyone to behave as per their expectations.
2. They are excessively self-centered.
3. They are absolutely intolerant towards the viewpoint of others.
4. They can’t bear criticism.
5. They have a weak and insecure self.
6. They demand special treatment.
7. They can easily resort to cheating and lying to fulfill their motive.
8. They overspend on super-expensive items to satisfy their ego.
9. They make expensive gifts and generous donations to create a favorable image.
By now, you must have identified the narcissist, if there is one around you. Whether it is your boss, a family member, a relative or an acquaintance, there are certain things that you can expect from a narcissist. Everything in their life is only and only about them. Everyone else is just around to serve their purpose. Expect them to never empathize with you or give their undivided attention. If that offends you, it’s your mistake. Even if you pin point their mistake, they can justify it completely and blame you for misunderstanding their noble intentions. They are always right, so, you can expect complete indifference from their side. And by chance if the narcissist ever takes you out for dinner, gives you a gift or helps you in anyway, always know that it was not done without any expectation. Their kindness is only a tool to manipulate you to get what they want from you. Sooner or later they will extract the returns of their kind deeds. You must, however, keep in mind that your benevolence or good deeds will never be received with thankfulness. A narcissist believes they are entitled to special treatment. Everyone around them is supposed to be in awe of them and hero worship them. Do nice things for a narcissist if you want to, and not for thanks or appreciation in return.