What To Expect If You Decide To Stay With A Narcissist

 / 

,
What expect stay with narcissist

Some people feel for one reason or another that they will remain with their abusive partner, the parent or other family member. Despite overwhelming advice that not to stay with a narcissist is the best thing one can possibly do for oneself in order to enjoy a normal peaceful life, some find that they cannot walk away.

I have been in touch with so many people over the years who have stayed with an abusive partner for maybe thirty or forty years, clinging to the hope that somehow this person will change for the better.

Their hopes and dreams were shattered when time revealed there was no improvement in behaviour. Sadly the only changes they witnessed were that the behaviour got considerably worse as they aged.

The best advice that I could give anyone is to create as much distance as you can between you and a toxic individual. Do not engage with them on any level.

Don’t stay with a narcissist because you feel obligated to do so.

It is not selfish to think about yourself, it is absolutely necessary.

For those brave souls who wish to remain in close proximity with a narcissistic personality be prepared for the challenges that you will inevitably face as you share your life with these individuals. Keep your expectations low and be prepared for a rough ride.

Read Why It’s Okay To Cut Toxic Family Members Out of Your Life

By all means, set your boundaries but rest assured, the narcissist will disregard them and cross those lines time and time again.

set boundaries
What To Expect If You Decide To Stay With A Narcissist

Give up the idea of living your life on your terms. Familiarise yourself with the term, ‘double standards’. There will be a set of standards you will be expected to live by. However, these standards will not apply to them.

You will be expected to live your life as the narcissist sees fit and abide by their rules.

You will lose your individuality as you strive to achieve the impossible… i.e. making them happy.

As most of us know, we are responsible for our own happiness. We cannot rely on others to do that for us. However, a narcissist doesn’t see things that way.

They need your endless attention and admiration so that they can feel some semblance of contentment for short periods of time.

Read Why Do Narcissists Abuse Those They Love?

The narcissist will get bored relatively quickly and you will find that you are not doing enough to ensure that these snippets of contentment last for long.

Invest in thick soled shoes or boots to protect your feet from sharp edges as you constantly walk on eggshells, tip toeing round this person so you don’t upset them with a casual glance, remark or dare I say, disagreement.

broken
What To Expect If You Decide To Stay With A Narcissist

Lose yourself as you serve your master or mistress. Your friends will disappear as after all, you cannot be loyal to two masters so they’re not really going to have a place in your life any more.

No doubt, you’ll be told what bad people they are so you’re really much better off without them. Your isolation will ensure that you have no one to turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on.

Read You Don’t Miss The Person, But The Idea Of That Person

Let go of any idea that your thoughts, needs and wishes will be respected.

Your emotional well-being is not of their concern.

They will never feel your pain as you struggle to make sense of the hurt they cause you as a result of their cruel words and actions. You are more than likely just being too sensitive.

Grow accustomed to their anger and absorb their rage and expect to bear the brunt of these uncontrollable episodes.

Learn to forgive them their misdemeanours over and over again but don’t expect them to forgive yours.

As your life slips by, try not to dwell on the past, on the ‘what ifs’ or the ‘ could have beens’.

Try not to think of how much better life would have been if you had walked away all those years ago. It was your decision to stay with someone who will never appreciate the sacrifices you made for them.


Originally appeared on NarcissisticandEmotionalAbuse.co.uk
Written by Anne McCrea
Printed with permission from the author
What To Expect If You Decide To Stay With A Narcissist
What expect stay with narcissist pin
What To Expect If You Decide To Stay With A Narcissist

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Have you ever heard of the term “flying monkeys” or “flying monkeys of the narcissist”? Who are they and what do they do exactly? This article is going to explore everything about who flying monkeys are and what role they play in narcissistic abuse.

‘Flying Monkey’ is the term given to those agents and allies that collude with an abusive person. Their role is to continue carrying out tormenting the victim on their behalf.

If it’s during the relationship, the abuser gets to abuse by proxy as it’s other people that are getting their hands dirty.

If it’s after the relationship has ended or you’ve left that job or left that area, it’s a way of perpetuating the abuse. Again though, the abusers hands are clean as others are doing the work for them.

<



Up Next

4 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Have you ever worked with a toxic boss or toxic leader? If you have, then you know how horrible and malicious they really are, and if you haven’t, then read on to know the signs of a toxic leader so that it’s easier for you to understand what you are dealing with.

KEY POINTS

Poor, toxic leaders demand unquestioning loyalty and service to the leader.

Bad leaders rule by a sense of fear, both of outsiders and of the leader’s wrath.

Good leadership empowers followers, shows concern for them, and benefits the collective.

All too often, people fall prey to self-serving



Up Next

Eggshell Parenting Meaning: 5 Signs You’re Making These Mistakes!

Eggshell Parenting: Signs You're Making These Mistakes!

Parenting is one of the most sincere tasks in every individual’s life that should be done with utmost care and coherence. However, the relationship between parents and their children is often tampered by the mental, and behavioral issues of the parents.

Thus, mood disorders and the violent nature of parents can affect the child’s life. Eggshell parenting is one such consequence. In this blog, we will guide you to understand eggshell parenting and show you the risky spots you should avoid.

What is Eggshell Parenting?  



Up Next

Top 6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History and Their Psychology Unleashed

Top Most Notorious Serial Killers In History

Some of the most horrifying and notorious murder cases in criminal history are those in which the most notorious serial killers caused irreversible harm to society by their horrific deeds. Motivated by an intricate network of psychological, social, and frequently pathological elements, these infamous persons have perpetrated atrocities that persistently enthral and appal the public.

Every instance sheds light on the dark psychology of serial killers, from Ed Gein’s horrific acts to Ted Bundy’s deliberate and planned killings. Investigating these sinister tales reveals not only the specifics of their heinous deeds but also the patterns and reasons behind them, providing insights into one of the most ghastly aspects of human nature.

6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History



Up Next

The Role of Childhood Trauma in Serial Killers: A Deep Dive Into 5 Serial Killers and Their Upbringing

Role of Childhood Trauma in Serial Killers: Case Examples

The public’s fascination with the mystery surrounding serial killers has long sparked conjecture regarding the motivations behind people’s horrific behavior. The role of childhood trauma in serial killers has received a lot of attention, despite the fact that the reasons underlying their actions are complex.

In this blog, we explore the childhood experiences in serial killers to gain insight into their terrifying world. We aim to uncover the intricate relationship between pathology and upbringing by delving into the trauma in serial killers and unfavorable conditions that shaped these individuals’ early years.

This will illuminate the shadowy pasts of some of the most infamous murderers in history. Come along with us as we venture into the darkest recesses of the human brain, where the roots of violence are planted.



Up Next

Man vs Bear Debate: What is the Right Choice for Women?

Man vs Bear Debate: Is It Safe To Choose a Bear Over Man?

Even though Leonardo Di Caprio has proven that men can beat a bear in strength and intelligence, let’s not get carried away and remember that a bear can be more powerful than men. You can guess that we are here to discuss why women chose bear in the man vs bear debate.

The real question is, what threatens women more? Getting mauled by a bear and meeting a horrific death or getting violated by a man??

Women are inclined to the second option in the viral Man vs Bear debate.



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.