Why does narcissist admire you in one minute and then devalues you by finding faults in everything you do the other moment? What causes this sudden change in behavior and mood?
You will be familiar with the fact that one day you are cock of the walk and the next day you are a feather duster. You are atop the pedestal and in a flash, you have been thrown from it and you are lying in the dust as we stand over you berating you.
The sudden switch from hero to zero, from princess to pauper, from “good person” to “bad person” is perhaps the most confusing, bewildering and upsetting part of our behavior. People cannot comprehend why they were being feted as the love of our life on Monday and then by Tuesday they are the devil incarnate.
It is something which causes (and of course we want this) victims of our nefarious behavior to cling to us in order to get an answer, to receive an explanation and some kind of reasoning which will allow them to make sense of what has happened.
They are unlikely to accept it, the emotional hold of the seduction and the golden period prevents acceptance of this sudden fall from grace for a very long time, but if you are able to understand why it happened, you are able to move forward with greater speed than you would otherwise.
Our reasons may appear illogical to you based on your world view but at least you have some reasons and that is more than you would usually ever receive from our kind as we plough on with your devaluation offering no cogent or realistic explanation for this sudden switch. I am not explaining why we devalue you (fuel, control, reinforcement of our need for superiority, and self-worth).
I am explaining what is it that makes us love you then hate you in the blink of an eye. What causes this sudden change, this 180-degree swing, this volte-face, this switch? You will be given no answer or if you are they will not be anything to do with the real reason why we suddenly idealize you then devalue you.
These false reasons are wheeled out to make you remain all the more, pursuing an elusive point as we continue to drain you of negative fuel until we decide you are to be disengaged from. Thus, here’re the five reasons that are the triggers for the devaluation.
Here are the five reasons the narcissists devalues you:
The fundamental reason for seducing you is to gather your potent and positive fuel. In the beginning and for some time afterward, we are invigorated by this precious fuel that you supply to us. We are reliant on it, we want and need it and we marvel at the fuel you provide us. This may last months or it may even last years dependent on our demands and your ability to fulfill them.
Your complacency however causes the fuel to become stale to us. You may not regard yourself as having done anything wrong. We understand that according to your view of how a healthy and mature relationship should progress that after a dizzying, honeymoon period the relationship moves to a deep-seated position where that initial buzz of excitement has faded to be replaced by something long-lasting, substantial and fulfilling.
Should you appreciate your relationship with us with this mindset, it results in us seeing you as complacent. You may regard it as a natural and understandable, indeed potentially necessary progression. We do not. Your failure to admire us in the way you once did (or at least the manifestation of this admiration), your demonstration of love, adoration, and such like becomes lessened.