Skip to content

The Truth About Victimhood That Can Heal You

truth about victimhood

No doubt, humanity has experienced a vicious cycle of victimhood throughout recorded history, and although many of us have been victims of abuse, crime, or disempowerment, the dynamics that perpetuate victimhood remain hidden.

Therefore, before we can end the cycle of abuse and heal emotional trauma for ourselves and others, we must dispel the false perceptions that perpetuate disempowerment.

In fact, the truth about victimhood cannot only heal you, it can set you free!

Victim Vs. Perpetrator

On the surface, all abusive relationships and disempowering dynamics consist of at least one victim and one perpetrator, and while the victim remains blameless, the dynamics of abuse and disempowerment are blamed entirely on the perpetrator. However, under the surface, this deceptive perspective actually perpetuates victimhood.

For the sole purpose of providing deeper insight, I’ve decided to share the details of my own journey from victimhood to victory. So, rather than just telling you what I discovered, I’m going to show you how I discovered it.

Be warned, if you’re not ready to release the idea of victimhood, the following perspective could invoke a strong emotional reaction.

Read 23 Signs You’ve A Victim Mentality (And How To Deal With It)

My Story: From Victimhood To Victory!

Shortly after I ran away from a dysfunctional home at sixteen-years-old, I found myself in a horrifically abusive relationship. Through the hands of a violent boyfriend, I was suffocated, strangled, and nearly beat to death every day for several long months, and even thrown out of moving cars on more than one occasion.

After being terrorized into complacency, my “abuser” made it perfectly clear that if I ever left him, he would hunt me down and kill me like prey, and, if verbal threats weren’t convincing, each time I attempted to leave, his actions left no room for doubt. Seeing myself as a helpless victim of abuse and paralyzed by fear and worthlessness, my perpetrator had the power to choose my fate, and, as a result, I was prepared for the worst.

After nine long months of escalating abuse, death appeared to be the only plausible escape, and, yet, in my darkest hour, I experienced an unexpected glimpse of hope. Although I began to envision a future beyond victimhood, before I could save myself, I had to consciously choose life, and this meant that I had to overcome a deep sense of worthlessness.

No doubt, the battle ahead would not be easy, and because my abuser would rather kill me than let me go, I had to face the dire fact that in order to save my own life, I had to risk losing it. Even though this might make me sound like a strong and brave kid, I was barely hanging on, and with absolutely no support, I was fragile and terrified! Any resources I once possessed were long gone, and, yet, I could not save myself while believing I was powerless. In fact, if I had any chance of rising above victimhood, I had to stop playing the victim.

So, with no other choice, and with only will-power and courage as ammunition, I was determined to rescue myself. Somehow, I would have to fight and win a personal revolution!

Fortunately, I’m happy to say that, despite a brutal and almost deadly escape, I ultimately survived – no doubt, with the help of divine intervention!

Read How To Be Empowered and Not Be A Victim: 10 Simple Steps

Revolution To Revelation

Even after I was physically free from abuse, deep emotional scars and unhealed trauma held me captive for years, and, as a result, the healing process took time to complete. Nonetheless, I eventually graduated from victim to survivor!

However, at some point, I realized that in order to be a survivor and tell my riveting “survival story,” I had to keep identifying as a victim, and this meant that the “survivor mentality” kept me trapped in victimhood.

However, even after I stopped identifying as a survivor, I still continued to believe that my past “abuser” was guilty of wrong doing and I was the innocent victim, and because I was innocent and he was guilty, I believed that I was the better person. Consequently, when I was finally able to forgive him for his atrocious acts against me, the act of forgiveness boosted my ego; “Look at me; I’m so great because I forgave the bad person who hurt me!”

Nevertheless, I forged the path of forgiveness and I went on to live a wonderful life….

Many years passed, and even though I thought everything was done and healed, unanswered questions still haunted me; Why did I have to experience abuse and victimhood in the first place, and, furthermore, why does anyone have to endure such pain and torment?

When reputable books and experts in various fields failed to offer complete answers to these perplexing questions and many others, I looked within for answers, and, consequently, I asked my Higher Self to show me a higher truth about the abuse.

Filled with paradoxes left and right, the multidimensional truth was not only complex, it was incomprehensible at first. Before I could perceive a higher truth, I had to create the space to receive. So, as I disentangled from mental and emotional constraints and I cleared the distorted lens of human perception, I became more and more receptive to varying points of view, and as my consciousness expanded, my ability to perceive grew too. Finally, with no filters to cloud my vision, an omnipotent vantage point revealed the Highest Truth – and this truth set me free!

Now, from me to you, the condensed version goes like this….

Trauma Or Drama – Life Is A Grand Stage!

As your True Self, you are unconditionally worthy and intrinsically powerful – and so is everyone else. Although this may sound awesome, there’s a downside to omnipotence.

You see, to an all-powerful soul like you, there are no challenges to overcome nor adventures to experience, and, therefore, in order to compensate, you were born with amnesia.

Indeed, life is a temporary stage where you act out your stories and issues, and since there’s no risk of permanent harm, you can play any part or endure any challenge. Regardless of drama or trauma, when your human form expires, you inevitably wake-up as your True Self, and while completely unscathed and perfectly whole, you’re actually better for the experience and no worse for wear!

How Hurtful It Can Be To Deny One’s True Self
The Truth About Victimhood That Can Heal You

You Create Your Own Reality

Even with amnesia of your True Self, you are the creator of every experience throughout life, and, whether conscious or unconscious, your beliefs create your reality. In fact, by demonstrating your beliefs, life operates as a perfect feedback system.

This means that as you project individual beliefs onto the 3D movie screen called “life,” those beliefs manifest as real life circumstances – specific to you. Since positive beliefs manifest as positive experiences and negative beliefs manifest as negative experiences, the underlying cause of disempowering circumstances is virtually always one or more corresponding beliefs. Therefore, when someone has beliefs regarding powerlessness, those beliefs inevitably manifest as disempowering experiences and even victimhood.

Read Are You Suffering from PAST LIFE Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Even though the perpetrator and victim appear to be opposing forces, they are actually two parts of one single dynamic. Attracted to one another through complementary beliefs, the victim and perp are unconsciously drawn into an abusive dynamic.

For instance, people pleasers and narcissistic personality types are often attracted to one another because their beliefs are complementary. While people pleasers often believe that their worth depends on pleasing others (to gain approval or acceptance), narcissists often believe that their worth depends on validation or proving superiority. Hence, when one person needs approval or acceptance and the other desires superiority or control, it sets the stage for disempowerment, and, over time, the relationship may become abusive.

However, this type of dynamic is not due to karma nor punishment, but, rather, it exists so that each participant can identify and release disempowering beliefs.

Playing The Perp Via Soul Agreements

Just like every perpetrator needs a victim, every victim needs a perpetrator, and, therefore, to experience victimhood, someone has to play the part of the perp. Although people with complementary beliefs are naturally drawn together, this attraction is rarely random, but, rather, in conjunction with pre-life agreements.

Agreeing to act out our beliefs on the stage of life, our very best eternal friends often play the parts of our worst human foes, and through a mutual agreement, we play appropriate counterparts. This means that when we experience victimhood, the part of the perp is often played by a loving soul. Apparently, for me, this was clearly the case.

In fact, when I asked to see a higher truth, I was shown that prior to meeting my “abusive boyfriend” in high school, I subconsciously believed that I was unworthy and powerless, and this set the stage for victimhood. Consequently, by fulfilling a pre-life agreement to wake me up early in life, he acted out my disempowering beliefs. However, if I did not believe that I was both unworthy of love and also deserving of abuse, he never could have played the perpetrator who victimized me, and, if I did not believe that I was powerless, the abuse never could have escalated to such heights.

Since life is a feedback system, if someone does not have beliefs about victimhood or powerlessness, there’s no need for a perpetrator to act them out, and, in fact, without a person having these beliefs, a perpetrator cannot act them out!

Read 11 Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back In Life

In fact, no one can ever do anything to you (externally) that you first don’t do to yourself (internally via beliefs).

Through our own disempowering beliefs, we imprison ourselves from the inside-out,
and by releasing the beliefs that trap us in disempowerment, we free ourselves, and, at the same time, we free those who play our perps!

While unconsciously playing the part he agreed to play, my “volunteer perp” beat me senseless until I woke up and rose above my own disempowering beliefs! By fulfilling our soul agreement, I was forced to claim my power and worth, and once I did, our agreement was complete. Therefore, as I saved myself, Hal was released from the part he played for me!

The truth is, I survived victimhood to discover that I was never really a victim!

Since beliefs create your reality, your beliefs make you the creator of every experience, and as the creator, you are responsible for your own disempowering circumstances, and this means that you can never be a victim. Keep in mind that although no one has power over you or your life, if you believe someone does, you could prove yourself right.

From this Grand View, can you begin to see how the “victim” creates his or her own reality?

Maybe you’re thinking, if this is all true, why do children experience abuse? Well, keeping in mind that an all-powerful soul lives within every child, early childhood experiences often represent specific beliefs that our soul’s want to experience and overcome.

Healing Power

No doubt, in order to heal the trauma of abuse and victimhood, we must release the disempowering beliefs at cause. Moreover, all emotional wounds and unhealed emotional trauma funnel down to one or more of three disempowering beliefs (powerlessness, unworthiness, and victimhood), and, therefore, these are the beliefs we must identify and release.

Additionally, since victimhood is transcended through the expression of power, we must also embody our power through tangible demonstration, and this means that our actions, behaviors and choices must demonstrate self-empowerment. Evidenced by speaking one’s truth, setting and enforcing boundaries, taking actions that overcome fear, etc….

Healing is not an overnight process
The Truth About Victimhood That Can Heal You

Looking back on my courageous escape, not only did I have to believe that I had the power to save myself, I had to prove that I could!

Clearly, it’s impossible to be both a victim and self-empowered at the same time, and, therefore, if victimhood creates a sense of identity (as it often does), before we can be fully empowered (and heal), the victim identity must be dropped.

As the bridge from victimhood to victory, self-empowerment is key! However, self-empowerment is relative to self-responsibility, and this means that we must take full responsibility for the experiences caused by our beliefs.

So, before I could fully heal the emotional trauma of victimhood, I had released the belief in powerlessness, and not only did I have to stop identifying as a victim, I also had to claim responsibility for my own victimhood – and this meant relinquishing blame.

Say “No” To Blame!

The act of blame is only possible when we believe that we are powerless and someone has (or had) greater power. However, the hidden cost for shifting responsibility (via blame) is our own disempowerment.

Regardless of past or present circumstances, each time we project blame, we give our power to the one we blame, and because we need this power to heal, our emotional wounds deepen with age. While feeding our own powerlessness, the act of blame perpetuates victimhood, and by blaming another, we project the power needed to heal!

He Who Blames Others Has A Long Way To Go.
The Truth About Victimhood That Can Heal You

No matter how you look at it, shifting responsibility inhibits healing and perpetuates unnecessary suffering.

However, let’s be clear; although you must take responsibility for the unconscious beliefs that result in disempowering circumstances, this does not mean that you are deserving of mistreatment nor were you ever deserving, and, therefore, there’s absolutely no reason for shame.

By claiming responsibility for disempowering circumstances, you activate your intrinsic power – and this power allows you to heal!

Read 4 Unhealthy Defense Mechanisms That We Need To Overcome

Metaphysical Alchemy

Whether we realize it, or not, we are always 100% responsible for every experience and this means that we are never really powerless. However, as long as perception is filtered through shame, regret, guilt, blame, resentment, etc…, it’s impossible to see the full picture nor comprehend the higher purpose of challenging experiences. Therefore, before we can understand how or why we created disempowering relationships, emotional trauma, or painful experiences, all limiting interpretations of the past must be questioned – and the filters of misperception cleared.

Just like “metaphysical alchemy,” the wisdom of the ages healed me from within, and once Universal Truth illuminated my disempowering beliefs, I was awakened and set free!

Now, with unclouded vision, it’s perfectly clear to see that I was never really a victim, and, in fact, Hal enacted the part best suited for him and me, and, instead of being motivated by hate, as I once believed him to be, it’s now clear to see that he played the perp out of love for me!

Although I would not attain this level of clarity for many years, the moment everything came into focus, the idea of forgiveness dissolved into enormous gratitude! Although I never got the chance, if I could, I would say, “Hal, thank you for waking me up – and making me save my own life!”

By looking beyond the obvious, the illusion begins to dissolve, and if we allow the truth to come into full view, we can begin to see that every victim holds the key for victory!

Read Self Healing: The 7 Most Effective Ways to Raise Your Vibration

Release Disempowering Beliefs

During this 30-minute Quantum Reprogramming process, you’ll be guided to release disempowering beliefs (unworthiness, powerlessness and victimhood) while you active your intrinsic worth and power.
Free with instant access, go to www.nanice.com/believe.


Written by: Nanice Ellis
Originally appeared on: Wakeup-world.com
Republished with permission
truth about victimhood pin
The Truth About Victimhood That Can Heal You

Nanice Ellis

As a Conscious Creation Coach since 1997, Nanice Ellis teaches mastery level manifestation. Using quantum principals, human dynamics, consciousness techniques, and real life experiences, her powerful coaching style is often referred to as the “Nanice Effect.” Bridging the gap from imagination to realization, Nanice coaches people to live their true dreams. Nanice is the author of several inspirational books including, “Is There a White Elephant in Your Way? – a comprehensive guidebook to awakening and self-empowerment” and “Seducing the Field – the masters guide for manifestation.” To find out more, please visit www.Nanice.comView Author posts

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Feeling Down? 5 Reasons Why You Feel Like Shit And What To Do About It

Feelings that make you feel like shit

Feeling down? Me too, buddy. The keyword here is ‘feeling’. Feelings are weird, if you ask me. Emotions make life complicated. It ruins relationships, families and even careers. It makes you feel like shit and like hitting your head against the wall. But that’s not completely true, is it? 

Not all emotions pull you down. After all, who would we be if we didn’t feel anything? Emotions make us who we are and it adds meaning to our lives. The secret lies in identifying which negative emotions make you feel like shit and knowing how to deal with them.

Dear negative feelings, thanks for making me feel like shit 

Yes, I know we should experience the whole spectrum of human emotions

Up Next

How to Tame and Silence Your Inner Critic: 5 Ways

Ways Tame And Silence Your Inner Critic

“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.” ― Beverly Engel. This one quote perfectly shows why it's important to silence your inner critic.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with your inner monologue? You know, the voice that can motivate you to press on or stop you dead in your tracks and make you feel a few inches tall.

It is the same voice that attempts to protect you from shame, embarrassment, or making a mistake. If not tamed and regulated, this voice morphs into an intense critic, one that can sabotage and stagnate if it gains too much power.

<

Up Next

Thanksgiving Blues? 11 Ways On How To Feel Grateful When You Don’t

Thanksgiving Blues

Not feeling grateful this holiday season? Well, even if feel like there's less to celebrate this Thanksgiving 2022, here's how to feel grateful when you don't.

The expectation of feeling grateful can be challenging when we’re struggling with loneliness or relationship, work or health problems. It can be even harder to have gratitude around holidays when we see other people happily celebrating.

When you’re discouraged or weighed down with negative thoughts, there are several things you can do.

Up Next

5 Ways To Be Yourself In A New Relationship And Make It Last

Ways To Be Yourself New Relationship

It can be tempting to hide your true self to impress your new partner. But to be yourself in a new relationship is the best way to a healthy and lasting relationship. Here are five ways to achieve that.

I find it very strange how hard it is to be yourself in a new relationship. After all, we are ourselves in every other area of our lives. Why do we struggle to be ourselves as the relationship progresses?

I believe that, when we first get into a new relationship, we feel very confident because having someone new in our lives, someone who thinks we are fabulous, is a very heady experience.

Up Next

Is Your Life Pre-Planned? How A Soul Contract Can Decide Your Entire Life Course

What Is A Soul Contract

Do you believe some people come into your life for a specific purpose? As if they want you to learn valuable life lessons and help you move forward in your spiritual journey? We are all part of a great cosmic master plan and our soul relationships are guided by spiritual laws, rules, agreements. The more you learn to identify your soul contract, the farther you will go on your spiritual journey.

While the understanding of life may vary from person to person, we are all spiritual beings going through a human experience. Our souls exist and shine in the spiritual realm before we are born and after we die. Our soul’s journey and our human experience is predetermined so that our soul can learn and grow during our time in the mortal realm. As our soul’s