The Power Of Self-Talk

the power of self talk

Changing Our Self-Talk

Although we’ve grown accustomed to these inner voices, they can be changed. It first requires our becoming more aware of them and developing mindfulness about our self-talk. There are a number of steps to reform these voices that include gaining an understanding of their motives and standards and learning to modify and counteract them. 10 Steps to Self-Esteem: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Self-Criticism is designed to succinctly lay out specific steps and exercises to do just that. There are several things you can begin doing immediately.


Until you’re acutely aware of your inner voices, you can’t change them. Write down your negative self-talk on a daily basis. Writing down your negative self-talk, including all the “should” and “shouldn’t’s,” will make them more conscious and provide you with choices.


Practice positive self-talk by addressing yourself in the third-person. This has the effect of “self-distancing” by shifting the focus away from the self.

Research has shown that by calling yourself by name, you begin to talk to yourself as you would a third person. It helps you regulate your emotions because you’re less emotionally involved and acquire a larger perspective. In effect, your emotional brain is less triggered, and you become wiser. This small change has a profound positive impact on reducing shame, anxiety, and depression. It provides you with increased clarity and better judgment in dealing with work and relationships.

Related: The 5 Types of Self-Talk Your Brain Likes Best


Build positive thinking habits. Spend time each day and throughout the day repeating positive self-talk. If you say a prayer each morning, but negate yourself the rest of the day, which words do you think will have more impact?

Try to make your positive self-talk outweigh any negative self-talk. This way you can develop an improved outlook and attitudes, which can lead to better health and decisions and greater success in your relationships and work.

©Darlene Lancer 2017

Written by Darlene Lancer JD, MFT
Originally appeared on

The Power Of Self-Talk
The Power Of Self-Talk
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4 thoughts on “The Power Of Self-Talk”

  1. I m not completely in agreement. The article speaks negative shades of self talk.
    I feel everyone should do self talk. There are millions and millions people who don’t know about themselves. Self talk is important to know who you are. Why you are here. What you do, why you do, what should you do etc.

    Many a times when you ask people about themselves…. Their strength weaknesses their Passion etc… They are clueless. So it’s Very important for everyone to do Self talk at least 5-10 mins daily on meditation state
    Early morning
    Or before going to bed.

    If we realise our true self,
    our purpose for life, what’s to worry about, what not. What’s worth fighting for, what not. What’s worth possession, what’s not…. Realisation of the effect of our actions and speech, tone and tenor etc on others,
    we will become a better human being

  2. thats since ghost guides..not tyranic roles players…tell me more what you make it and why you thinking or feeling that ..thanks

  3. Please give the artist of that title artwork credit at least, because I doubt she allowed someone to use her painting for this article. Her name is Tanya Shatseva. It’s so hurtful to use artwork without credit to the unbelievably talented artist that created it. TANYA SHATSEVA

  4. Wow, this is very relatable. I often find myself wanting to run from my life because of the unreasonably high standards i set for myself. Can u please share in more objectively what we can do to overcome this habit?

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