Ideally, nobody wants to associate with a narcissist. But, people with a narcissistic personality disorder can easily disguise you and fool you. Once you have the mental preparation and learn how to deal with a narcissist, it is much easier to filter them out of your potential social circle.
Here are 5 ways to deal with the narcissist in your life:
1. The first and most effective way to keep yourself from harm’s way is avoidance.
Prevention is much better than cure. Imagine trusting a narcissist, spending a significant part of your life investing in their friendship, and one fine day, they trample on you to achieve their own well-being. In order to avoid this probable future, avoid these character types. When you meet a self-obsessed human being, know for a fact that they will stop on account of no ethics or morals. So, pick your luggage, don your sneakers, and run for your life!
You probably think we are going overboard, and blowing things way out of proportion. But if you do your own research and read a couple of case studies, it will be sufficiently evident to you. Narcissists will not just speak about themselves. They will make you feel immense guilt for not catering to their wants and desires. You will be emotionally abused over and over again. Your torso will have bullet wounds, but you will still be made to feel like you are the one holding the gun. So, avoidance is the best way to deal with a narcissist.
2. Growing Through Your Emotions
The smaller you become, the larger they get. They will feed off your space, your emotions, et all. Every time you raise legitimate concerns, a narcissist will turn the words on their heels. Before you know, your own argument is racing back towards you at optimum speed. Unless you have recognized their trait, they will use you to achieve the things they want.
These people make you revere them, or pity them, or love them, or hate them- but do not for once believe that all of this does not play to their benefit. It is akin to the use of drugs. The validation you bring to their life is of utmost importance for them to function. They always need an audience and their desperation borders on severe addiction.
3. They Stick To Their Character
It is nearly impossible to show them that they might be wrong. They are perpetually insecure about being anything less than the best and therefore refuse to break character. Honestly, if your narcissistic friend was a character in a novel, he/she would be the flat-est character to have ever existed.
Imagine asking a regular cocaine user to suddenly abstain from it. It will drive them ridiculously crazy. Psychological diseases are not very different. Having received undeserved validation over time, they grow into self-righteous entities who refuse to believe your judgment. You could tell an addict that heroin is ruining their neural capabilities completely, but they would not believe you, simply because they cannot feel it themselves.
It is useless to hold up a mirror to a narcissist because instead of analyzing his own character, he will spend all his hours admiring his chiseled face.
4. Cut Them Out For Good
Have you heard of that age-old saying: ‘Out of sight, out of mind’? Well, it works. Why invest in somebody when their character stinks of destructive agencies. Why willingly walk into the lion’s den? What possible excuse can you give to your future self when it is wounded and tortured by the self-obsession of a friend who cannot see beyond themselves?
It must be terribly difficult to bid farewell to somebody you have associated with so closely. But one must learn to protect their own self before they begin philanthropy. Charity truly does begin at home. In more cases than one, your departure will cease to affect them after a short period of time. They only needed a toy to play with, and you will soon be replaced by another unassuming soul.
If you cannot bid goodbye to them outright, just refuse to listen to their stories for a week. They will abandon you before you can spell out their name.
5. Don’t Beat Yourself Up For Saving Your Soul
I know we were always taught to stick up for our friends, and stand by them in their tough times. “For better, or for worse”, right? No. There is a limit to all maxims. You are not expected to push somebody out of the fire, while you burn in it yourself; especially when the person has neither gratitude nor reciprocation for your care and effort.
It sounds selfish, but be it so. You are your first priority. Remember that.
Nobody is going to come rushing to save you if you do not endeavour to save yourself. The world might be a huge place, but it is selfish through and through. Don’t let anybody tell you off for not being on the moral high road. Your one sole responsibility is to ensure your own safety first. “Each man for himself”.
Narcissists are like the Death-eaters in Harry Potter. They appear out of nowhere, suck the life out of you, and leave your limp body behind. It’s important for you to deal with the narcissist. Nobody should have to die in the name of love or friendship. There are much greater things for your beautiful mind to invest in.
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