Are you wondering how to stop hurting after a breakup?
Have you worked hard to get out of a relationship that wasn’t serving you? Are you feeling overwhelmed by emotion and the empty space that is the result of letting go of your love?
Or were you walked out on and struggling to understand why and get past it?
You are not alone. Getting past a break up is hard but not impossible.
Here are some things that you can do that can really help.
How to Stop Hurting after a Breakup:
#1 – Take stock.
One of the first things I tell all of my clients when they have to walk away from someone they love is to take stock of the reasons that their relationship wasn’t working. Make a list – a list of all of the reasons why they needed to walk away from that person or the things that they knew weren’t working, the reasons why they might have been broken up with.
When we spend time with someone, we are regularly exposed to those things that remind us that we need to walk away. When we finally get away from that person, those things tend to recede into our memory. They get replaced at the forefront of our minds with the good things, the good times, all the things that we loved about that person.
And, with the good things at the front of our minds, we are vulnerable to returning to the relationship that is causing us pain.
So, make a list. Make a list of everything that you can think of that has caused the breakup. Keep that list close and refer to it when you are missing him. And keep the list in case he comes back, begging for forgiveness.
You left this relationship for a reason. Keep that reason in mind daily going forward. He left this relationship for a reason – make him work to get your back. A list will help you with both.
#2 – Go cold turkey.
There is nothing more tempting when you are missing your lost love, then to stalk him or her.
Unfortunately, these days there are so many ways to keep tabs on lost love – social media has made it all so easy. And keeping tabs on a lost love makes it really hard to let go and move on.
I know that it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, to take a quick peek at your lost love’s feed, but you know, as well as I do, that there is a chance you could see something on there that you just don’t want to see. Perhaps him out there, having fun without you, doing something that you used to do together, or even doing it with someone else. And seeing any or all of those things could send you into a tailspin.
So, eliminate all ties to your loved one on social media. Block him on your phone. Don’t ask your mutual friends about what he is doing. Tell yourself that he has moved to Mars and that you will never see him again.
You will be glad you did.
#3 – Make yourself a priority.
Ok, so you are single again and you suddenly find yourself with lots of free time. And you might also find yourself craving a lot of ice cream.
Now is not the time to sit around, watching Netflix and eating ice cream. While those things might be fun in the moment, in the long run they will only make you feel worse.
The best thing that you can do for yourself right now is to exercise and take care of yourself. When you are going through a hard time, the number one thing that can make you feel better is the endorphins that are created through exercise. Those chemicals will actually make you feel very different from the sad and lonely person you might feel like right now.